Crimson Desert is crazy

John Desert. That's me. It's your boy. Where we at? Oh. Damn. Going into a tesseract. Where am I at, man? There it is. Okay, so we got Let me show y'all where I'm at. So, we made a little bit of progress. I got a [ __ ] necklace and I got one of these things, too. An earring. I did a couple of the quests off stream. I didn't do any of the main story quests, obviously. I didn't want to [ __ ] around with that. And so, we got all this done. Uh the inventory. Now, I'm thinking about if I want to go up against uh the dog, right? Actually, let me see. I'm thinking about maybe I'll upgrade my weapon again. How are we feeling about upgrading the weapon again? Let me talk to this guy. Uh, oops, I hit the wrong button. To order just Okay, so how much are All right, so I want to refine stands before you. I want to refine and so we could upgrade. We could upgrade the helmet. How we feeling about upgrading the helmet? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's big dick the helmet. Yep. Yep. Let's do it. refund the sword. Let me see where we're at with the helmet. So, I need an abyss artifact. Okay. So, I'm going to save I'm going to do one more upgrade, then I'm going to stop so I can save the other ones. Okay. And we're going to only do that. We're going to only do this. And that way I still have enough for the other ones. Cyro's plate armor. This is going to be four four uh four of this, right? Refine. Why are you doing this? You're wasting You're wasting your your time in my chat because you keep talking like that, you're going to get banned, you [ __ ] [ __ ] You shut the [ __ ] up. How about that? This for just remember. All right, so let's see what else we got. Smell for bra. So we got I'm trying to think. Okay, so journal. Let's see what I need to do. Main quest, faction quest, challenges. Okay, I don't give a [ __ ] about challenges. House circus. I already did that. And then disputed spoke. Okay, I got to Oh. Oh, I went and I killed a bunch of guys. All right, let me let me go ride over there. Stoping you. I got to go do that. Dog, where are you? Have you befriended a loot dog yet? Are you guys joking around? Is this like a BBO joke? Damn. What's up, boys? How y'all doing? Oh, we got some kids here, huh? About run. You [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] How about that? it. You can have pets. Really? Yeah. So, what should I do to get a pet? Should I just like try and talk to dogs? How does this work? Where? Wait, there's a cat. Can I Can I get a cat? Cuz in BDO, you can get cats. I heard a meow. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me get out. What about the duck? Okay. Uh, all right. I can't talk to the duck. This is I I I guess he's fented out. This guy's fented out, too. And I'm not seeing I'm not seeing him. Oops. What skills do you have unlocked? Yes. I don't see any cats, man. Oh, there's a baby duckling. I just stepped on it. Okay. Um, so I don't know where that cat is. I'm just going to ignore it. Can't wait to rob a bank. Yeah, for sure. I'm going to do that right after this. Cities have pets. Okay, we're going to go back to the city after this. I've got to go to the count and if I get an abyss artifact, I'm going to use it to upgrade my weapon. I think that right now that's the correct decision. My friend has a dog. It picks you up all it picks up all the loot people drop. Okay. Wait, what's that purple thing? What's that purple thing? Where Where's my I'm just honestly I just I figure I would just let him die. I thought it was the right thing to do. Okay, so what's in here? Wait, I just I I used up a key for nothing. Wait, I can't even loot any of the food. What the [ __ ] Oh, what a piece of [ __ ] Map makaker's note. What's this? What does it say? Empty desk. Okay. Uh well, I guess I got that. That's good, I guess. Uh where's my horse? Uh let me summon my horse again. Okay, let's go. You got to get the mask. You need a mask to steal. No, you don't. You can steal without a mask. You just It just says you still It just says you stole something. Do I have a mask? I don't. No, it's not true. Okay. Well, I'm a [ __ ] idiot [ __ ] then. Damn. I should have brought a mask. I didn't know that. I thought it was just like that. That just made it to where they couldn't Oh, Damn it, man. I got to find that. Oh god. You can steal in peace. I want to be able to do that. Okay. How do I get over there? Um, it's like over I guess it's probably this way, right? It's got to be this one. Yeah, I freed the quarry. Like all these losers here are are living free because of me. I've saved them. You know what? You know what? This it took like [ __ ] hours to do this, by the way. It was so [ __ ] annoying. Not hours, but it took me like 20 minutes to do it. I had to kill everybody. Damn, bro. Like, I can't drive this car. Go. I'm heading there now. It's [ __ ] annoying. There's so many mobs I had to kill. You got those dick suckers shooting arrows at you. It's so [ __ ] annoying. All right, there it is. Right. This must be it. I've never been here before. This is the first time. Report about the events at the fort. Let me get out. Here it is. Who's this loser? Just a little [ __ ] Oh, this has got to be the main guy, right? Leon Roberts. You're back. Well, had the bandits taken my fort? Yes, they did. Did you see anything odd? I've heard they're making some kind of medicine. Yes. I'll have to look into that. More importantly, I'm glad you're back safe. Thank you for all your help. Uh-huh. Okay, good. So, what did I get? Wait, where's my reward? Uh, wait. Where's my reward? I didn't even get any loot. Go. Are you kidding me? Got the iron. What are y'all doing? What are you doing, little [ __ ] Get the [ __ ] out of here. [ __ ] you. Oh, the [ __ ] out of here. That's right. Oh, punch him right in the [ __ ] head. Oh, you too, huh? You want a little bit of that? The [ __ ] out of here, [ __ ] [ __ ] you. So, you can get a dog. Can't thank you enough, friend. So, wait a minute. So, you're telling me that I can just get a dog that loots everything for me? Is that true? Like, there's no way it's that easy and I've just been [ __ ] Let me Let me get Oh, a Palmer pill. Let me get this. Good day to you. I didn't Oops. I stole that. a discovery. I got a grindstoneone. There it is. Yeah, it's pretty fast. Okay, you got to feed it for a couple of days. Oh my god. You telling me I have to feed a dog? Oh man, this shit's annoying. Okay, let me let me loot this square. Look, I just wonder like what would why would it Okay, there it is. Got it. it. This looks like in fact uh a square. What do I have to do for this sharpened spear? I probably do need to pick that up. Decent copper pouch. I'm going to pick up this this Poke Boy. So, are these like bad guys? What's going on, boys? Oh, what's up? What's up? You're not dying, are you? What's wrong? Oh, what's it? What's that? Oh, you doing on my game? So, I So, you're telling me I have to loot every single person cuz I haven't even been doing this. Wait, what? Is he talking to me? Stranger, unite. Hold E near the loot stuff. that picks everything up like Red Dead Redemption. I never played that. I can't thank you enough. I'll never forget your kindness. I must repay you. Help yourself to that wood over there. He's going to give me wood. Over there. Oh, he gave me 20 wood. Oh, that's really good. That's super good. Wait, what the hell is this? What's this [ __ ] Okay. Oh, that's like where they fought the the ring race in Fellowship of the Ring. No, I want to go up there. We're going to go up there and then I'm going to go back. This is important. Weather top. Yeah. Let's go. All right. I got double jump, too. You guys see that? Big jumps. [ __ ] yes. Maybe you'll find Frodo. Yeah. Did you light a beacon like in Lord of the Rings? No. I can't do [ __ ] I'm just going to walk up this way. Hopefully, I'll find something good. Like all this is uh I do feel like if I just play the game and try to explore it'll be better rather than try to like force things, but I'm I'm kind of worried about fighting that gorilla. Like I think that he might get me. I'm afraid of him. Okay, let's go. Ooh. Ooh. What's this? What's this? I'm going to turn it off. I can't. All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? What's going on? It's like a elven ruins. Oh, the birds. Where'd they go? Take. What did I just loot? Icy white crystal. Oh, it's meth. Oh, is it? I was looking for that. So, wait, there's nothing here. Wait, you're telling me I did all this for nothing? I saw the light up square. Oh no. Oh no. Okay, give me a minute. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. All right. Um, actually, wait. Why is there a shirt here? Nelbin cloth armor. Okay, I guess I just got to This is an interesting place to put a shirt. Okay. A little impatient, aren't you? You can't do anything right now. May kindness remain. Sanctum cannot be purified yet. so this is like some uh some chick. I need her to purify it, but she doesn't want to do it. What's that? What's What's this? There's like a weird ass [ __ ] Is that a spirit or is that a bug? Look at that. Who's this? That looks like it's actually a tree. It turns out the evil spirit is in fact a tree. Many such cases. Okay, so there's got to be something cool on the top of this, right? Place is really big. Your armor looks awesome. Thanks. I paid real money to get it because I bought it with the collector's edition. It took no skill whatsoever. I just paid real money and now I have good armor. That's called video That's called video gaming. I don't know if you're familiar with it. Um, so you're telling me there's nothing here? there's just nothing. It's just a [ __ ] hole. Okay, there's got to be something on this mountain top right here. Let's go over to the mountain top. How would you review Crimson Desert? That's a poll in chat. I would say the game right now. It is what it is. Every video game, it is what it is. And to the extent that it is not what it is, you're going to be upset. Just play the game. Is it good? Is that a good shield? It sucks. It just it it sucks. Like here we go. Packaging trade. Wait, what? Trade goods must be packaged. Visit Carl. So now I have to talk to Carl. I got a a ring and temp. What in the [ __ ] That's it. I don't even know what the hell that is. That That's okay. Um All right. So, where do we need to go? We go over to Machu Picchu, maybe. What do y'all think? Damn, this game's [ __ ] massive. Let me go over here. I'm out of stamina. I'm going to die. The snow mountain. No, I got to get ready to fight the bear or that that dog, whatever the [ __ ] it is. I'm not ready for that. The gorilla. Oh, nice. I got a teleporter. Oh, this is huge for me. Okay, great. Is this a bad guy? I'm going to sneak around him. Bad luck. You're up against me. I won't mind. Wait, is that a gun? Wait, he's got a gun. What do you mean he's got a gun? Get the [ __ ] out of here. Why would he jump off the edge? Wait. Oh my Wait, that's the elite guy. [ __ ] bro. I got to kill everybody. Wait, double elites. Come here. Jump, jump, jump, jump. Got his ass. That [ __ ] ass. Oh, I cut his dick off. I want to kill Block. What's wrong? There it is. What's wrong? Oh, wait. I just killed the elite like that. Am I that guy? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? Where are we? Tackle. What? What is it? Punch him. Hit. I hit him again. What did I do? Hit him again. Hit him again. Hit him again. Fry, [ __ ] I did nothing wrong. I heard that. I heard that before. Another one. Enough. Enough. Another one. Time up. Let's time up. It's time up. This isn't bad. Just a minute. Coming up last long time. What's wrong? I got your mans. I got your mans. We're going to perform a sacrifice. It's time for him to die. Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We got to do something real quick. Where's he at? Did I pick him up again? Wait, wait. Is he dead now? Oh no, they they killed. They messed. Okay, he's dead. All right, now it's time to kill everybody. I got to kill everybody now. Hey, touch my breath. Go. See that? That's called space bar. Do it. See what happens. Do it. See what happens. Jesus, bro. What a loser. What a little What a little [ __ ] Block. What are you doing? What are you doing up there? What are you doing up there, you little dick sucker? Come on down, [ __ ] that's what I thought. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are we doing to my game? You'll be left roted in the dirt. That's right. Kill them all. I'm a I'm a I'm a I think this is a good time to get the get things stomped out. [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of here. Oh, he's going to try and show that. Uh-uh. [ __ ] I'll cut your dick off. Oh, damn. He shot me. Get out of here. Who else? Who else needs it? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Assassinate that little dick sucker. Oh, you're dead. Let me Let me untie him. I got him. I got him. I got it. You're safe. You're safe. You're safe, bro. You're safe. You're safe. You're good. So, where's the Where are the other guys? Like, I need to It says It says I'm 7% left. Okay, there there's 2% right there. God damn it, bro. Like, go [ __ ] off. I got to kill one more after this. Okay. Uh, what else do we have? Oh, I beat it. Ooh, I beat the whole thing. It says inventory is full. Uh, what am I going to do about that? Like I got I got a bunch of stuff. Like I feel like do I really want this? Like that's actually kind of like that's not like I'm thinking about this. Is it really a situation that I want to be in? I don't think so. Wipe out the caliphate. Like I don't know. Like I'm just thinking about this. Oh, I can put on this ring. Let me equip the ring. Uh, remind me. I got to equip do this, too. Okay. So, what else do I need to get rid of? I'll get some of these. I don't want I don't need bottles. What do I need bottles for? Okay, let me get rid of all the bottles. And so, I got two. Oh, wait. No, it's the same necklace I already saw. Okay, I'm going to just eat this dragonfly. I got a meat skewer. The [ __ ] is that bundle of bullets? I can't even loot that. So, I literally Wait, I literally just got a gun. I can't even use the gun. But this is This gun sells for $2. That's actually really good. So, you guys are telling me that I can just literally get a dog that'll do this for me. Is that right? It says inventory expansion, which means that my inventory is probably full. Yeah. How many dogs can I get? What? Well, well, I mean, God, bro, shit's annoying. Okay, so let me go back. I'm going to go back right now. I might teleport. Wait, I thought I Wait, what? I thought I beat this. Why is it red still? Literally, everybody's dead. I killed everybody. Why is it still red? I thought I was that guy. Apparently not. Okay, so let me go back. I'm going to go back to town right now and we're going to get ready to fight that boss cuz that's the main that's the main focus I have for today. I have to free the hostage. Really? No. No, bro. Like, why do you even say that? Like, he's he's he's gone. He was gone like 10 minutes ago. The other one. There was another one. No, there wasn't in the other tent. What? Like over here? I don't think so. Like I don't see any of that. The other castle that Y'all were right. Y'all were right. Y'all were right. All right. Well, I can't do anything to him, so it doesn't even matter. Okay. Well, I owe you a great debt. Wait, what? He owes me a debt? Goddamn right. Can I Can I get my refugee? I I don't want to liberate any refugees. I want to I want to send them back. I don't want to liberate anybody. How h how can I create more refugees? That's what I want to do. Mysterious energy. I probably should go over there. Secret. There might be a secret cave. Oh, I bet there's probably a secret cave there. Uh well, I'm not ready for that because I don't have I don't have inventory. So, let me go back. I'm going to go back right now. Enslave. Yeah. How How can I How can I I want to create slaves and refugees. How do I do that? You just bomb them. Okay. Seems simple. Send them democracy. Oh, maybe oil. How about that? Okay. So, now we got to go around and I'm going to try and just vendor some of my [ __ ] Here, here's this guy I'm going to talk about. Lose your sense shop. True strength comes from the soul, not the soul. I'm going to sell this piece of [ __ ] Uh, let's see here. Blackberries. Uh, should I should I sell the broom? I'm not a woman. I'm going to sell this [ __ ] I don't need that. Uh, Hernand and Tire. I don't want that. Empty book. I don't want this. Uh, explosive arrow. Do I really need one explosive arrow? No, I don't. Uh, a cactus Warhammer. Why the [ __ ] would I want a cactus Warhammer? I'm selling that. Um, this sword. I never use a two-handed sword anyway. It's a waste of time. Weapons box. I'm going to sell that. Then high. It's for Una. I I don't play Una. Why would I play Una? Okay. Um, what else we got to get rid of? So, I'm going to sell both of these guns. And I'm going to sell the spear, too. I'm going to sell the necklace. I don't think I need this necklace, really. Just get rid of it. And I'm going to sell all the money. All the bottles, I mean. And what's this here? It's a crafting material. I want to keep that. skull stone. I might need that for uh Oh, damage gear. Okay, I'll sell this for sure. I got like what? $16, $14. It's a lot of money. I'm going to sell this. I'm trying to see what else I need to get rid of. Should I sell this butterfly? I'm going to sell the butterfly. I don't need him. Ah, the orange. Uh, we're going to keep the orange for now. We might need that. Is the game cool? It's a game, I'll tell you that. Definitely. It's a video game. And let's see. I'm going to get rid of my pickaxe because I don't feel like I need it if I already have the drill. Like, I just don't see the purpose of it. And this helmet. I'm going to get rid of the helmet, too. I think I made some pretty good space here. I did. This seems fine. A blade is to a warrior while a ship is to its c. You shut the [ __ ] up, [ __ ] Okay, so what else do I need to do? I don't have or need any of this really. I'm thinking if I should try to farm out more iron or copper. Like I don't know if I need to. My forge never rests. So, all right. Where are the dogs? Actually, we need to think about There's a dog. There's a dog. There's a dog. There's a dog. Get out of here, little kid. This is my dog now. So, what do I do now? I just got to keep doing this. I just I just pet this [ __ ] I'm getting plus five trust. I'm at 15 trust. Feed him. I don't need to. I can just pet him. It says I'm at 25 now. Dog. Wait, he doesn't want to be pet anymore. Food is plus 20. How do I food? How do I give him food? Uh, I'm going to just take Okay, what what would he want to eat? Does he want an orange? Discard the orange. All right. [ __ ] out. You're not nice at all. The [ __ ] out of here. I don't understand why you would do So now he's at plus 35. So how many foods can I give him? Can I give him another food? Like let's say I drop another food. meat. I don't have any meat, do I? Do I have meat? I don't think I do. Ooh, I got a fish fillet. All right, I'm going to give that to him after this. Three a day. Okay, give it a minute. It's capped at 25 a day. No, it's not. You [ __ ] idiot. It says plus 10 now. I'm 45. [ __ ] [ __ ] What are you talking about? You don't know anything. Why you Why you even typing? You don't know [ __ ] Fine meat. Okay, here we go. Fine meat. I'm going to discard one of these. Oops. I discarded two. Okay, you can't have that one. Oops. Okay. Wait, wait. Oh, he's loving it. That's plus. It only gave it plus 10. So, is it only three total? I'm going to drop another one and just see what happens. Cuz like y'all are saying that, but I don't really know if that's true. Okay, there you go. Do it. This is a big dog situation. Let's go. Okay, so it does seem to be three a day. All right. So, that means now we understand that. And let me go inside here. Like, I don't know if there's anything else I need to really Who's this guy? I can't even talk to him. No, I I can't. All right. Um, let me go back around. So, what do you all think I should do now? Like I feel like really the main thing I should focus on is that like we have all this. I have one more of these to do and then I complete the House Roberts faction quest. So buy a like I could go and try and fight that boss now. I could. And I think I also got one of these things too. The abyss. I have Oh. Oh, I have an abyss artifact. Wait a minute. That means I can upgrade my weapon. If I can upgrade my weapon, I think that I'm ready to fight the boss. I do. Stay and see what skill and fire can create. I can't. This is crazy. We're fine. There it is. Go to grindstone and for a buff. Yeah, that's a normal weapon. Yeah, I know. That's why I want it. All right. Sword of the Lord. I'm the Lord, by the way. Okay. And I don't have Okay. So, that that's I'm kind of like soft capped at this point, right? And I can guess I could get a little bit of defense. Yeah. Let me just use. So, should I upgrade my bow? Ooh, I get to upgrade my ring, too. Oh [ __ ] bro. I'm I actually have so much extra damage now. What the [ __ ] I'm out of control. Okay, so we're going to double upgrade with the ring. Uh, you can upgrade your [ __ ] or is that the DLC? I think that's the DLC. Okay. So, and then I can use one antidote. And this gives me more stamina regen. Well, I feel like I should obviously go with Yeah, I I think let's just use this. Like, [ __ ] Like, we've got to make sure that we're strapped and ready for this boss. Like, this monkey is no joke. So, we get that and I don't have enough of those anymore. All right. And so, let me Can y'all explain something to me? Like, if I get the my attack up with the bow, does that affect my weapon? So, like my does my sword damage do more if I if I have the bow upgraded? Cuz in like BDO it does. No. Every literally everybody's saying no. Okay. And I would logically assume that's true also for the dagger. So, we're going to have to go with the cloak instead. All right. Your boots and gloves do increased damage. Yeah. I don't have the the stuff to do that, though. Okay. And I'm going to just upgrade this, too. That will be a great source to shoot the monster, move away from it. Get any poison arrows. They'll do good, too. I'm not going to do that. Okay. We're going to do level three as well. I'm going to just do big upgrades. We want to see fat cat. Uh, I might. Let me see. Okay. Do I do another upgrade? I might just do another upgrade. [ __ ] it. Who cares? You need to looks max, bro. That's too late, bro. I'm I'm [ __ ] 35. I'm cooked. It's done. Damn. Look at all this stuff I got to use now. Okay, so the shield. Bagan shield. I don't have that. Okay, I think that we have everything set up then. All right. The master of the You're welcome at my now. Like honestly guys, I really feel like I'm that guy at this point. I just don't know what I can do about like what if I went and I just used all these potions on the boss. Like what what if I just used all my potions whenever I fight the boss? Because that would go crazy, right? made foods as well. Okay. Yeah. No, no, it's a good point. It's a good point. Okay. Uh where's the food? Where do the food is? Is that the food? That's the food. Okay, let's go. And food buffs. Yeah, we're going to get everything. Greetings. Shut up. Are you simple? Shut up, [ __ ] Okay. So, I think right now we're going to cook. Oh, I had to light the fire. All right. So, we got to think about I can't make any of these big meals, but I can make this here. Honestly, clear soup seems like it's pretty good. Like I think we just we go all in on clear soup. How we feeling about clear soup. It gives me 180 health. I'm going to do this. Uh select and I'm going to make Let's see it. What's it look like? Oh. Oh my god. Okay. And then we're going to use I'm thinking that we use I think let's just use health. Like why don't we use the lowlevel heals and I just spam the [ __ ] out of them because I think that's the best option. I just spam I spam the [ __ ] out of the heels. I'm just looking at what else I can even get. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, let's go with this. Okay. Uh, make Oops, just a second. I made a mistake. make. Wait, it's only plus. Oh, never mind. I got confused. Okay, I'm almost ready. I'm stir frying this [ __ ] Damn, bro. He made me some more pancakes. That's just what I wanted. Okay, so the dude really wants to read this. He's typed it eight times. Oh, he's typed the same message eight times. Per ban him. Perman them. I hate spammers. I'm not going to read it. Look, I I don't know why people spam in the chat. It's really uh it's really not something that people should do. If you spam in chat, you're just going to get permanently banned. What should I do? What should you do? What's going on? Huh? I was just uh thinking out loud. My head's been full of worries of late. The Nars River fishing grounds are seeing less visitors these days. Once they were the pride of the region. So, I thought, uh, what if we raised a statue of the goddess of plenty? Does she have big titties? It'll be a nice addition to the scenery and stand as a symbol of fortune and prosperity. Two birds with one stone, as they say. Of course. If you would lend me your strength, I'd see you properly rewarded. What do you want me to do? What does he want me to do? Like, so I have to talk with this. Dispatch a construct to the god. Carry out a construction project. Wait, what? You can inspect a region on the map and then press double click and then on the missions on inspection mode. Wait, what? Like I Wait, so this is like a region on the map. I don't know how the [ __ ] where was I supposed to build this again? Like what did it even say? I forgot what it even said. I wasn't really paying attention. Like, like, what the [ __ ] am I supposed to do? The bandits, the fish pond. What the [ __ ] is it? Like, I I wouldn't even I wouldn't even pay attention. Like, I I don't read [ __ ] at all. Like, what does it want me to do? Go to the map and double click a city. Okay, I just click a city. Okay, it says missions, but it says egg harvesting. I don't want to harvest a [ __ ] egg. Maybe I have to do it on here cuz this is where he's at. So, it should make sense that that's not it either. I hate having to [ __ ] read [ __ ] bro. Like, god [ __ ] damn it, bro. I might just I might just stop. I'm I might just do something else. Estate security. What the [ __ ] is estate security? I don't give a [ __ ] about the state security. I thought I needed to build that [ __ ] Where is it? Facilities. Royal trading post. Like, wait, what the hell is this? Package reg gensing. Tilted already. Like, I just I I hate having to [ __ ] think about [ __ ] bro. Like, I I I hate having to think. Okay, so we're we're out of that. We're not even going to think about that [ __ ] quest ever again. Ah, that's confusing to me. Okay, so give me a minute. Let me look at the other ones I need to do. Hernand politics. Okay, what is this? Wait, I can't I can't toggle this. Wait, what? What the [ __ ] I can't Well, then how am I supposed to know where they are? God [ __ ] damn it, bro. Like, double click your camp. Oh, can I do I don't think that's it. Oh, what just happened? Now I have a stubborn one. What is this here? To the rescue. That's not it at all. I think that we just I think we just do the main story cuz like this is just it's just confusing. Like everything about this is confusing to me. Okay. Uh, I guess maybe I'll try and do this. Let me see what happens. Cuz it sends me It gives me a bag. What is this? Okay, I guess I can just teleport to there and then go there. Take the time to meet the game halfway like you do with Dragon's Dogma. I just like I just don't want to have to like there's just there's too many things for me to keep track of like what thing means what like it it's just way too much. All right, let me go over to there though. I probably should start mining. Like I did a little bit of mining yesterday. Face computer [ __ ] Yeah. Okay. Uh let me go and Where's the dog? There he is. Okay. So many things. Yeah. That's good for a game lacking content, right? Well, I just like uh it it it's just like it's hard to understand even like what a quest is cuz like there's different uh impulses, right? Or different different indicators. Like what this what it feels like this game has is that like basically I think that the biggest problem this game has is that there's no internal logic. Like in a lot of video games, after you play a video game for a while, you can like understand what the game wants you to do because you've like built that off of like other functions in a game. But like it looks like this game has gone through like three or four iterative processes and in each process they've changed basically the decision maker. Does that make sense? How would you do? Is there anyone? Okay. You're here about the bandits. I am. I'm here. That's right. They came bar inconsistency. Mhm. All of us are a little jumpy now. But it's hard not knowing if they'll be It's a huge relief to know that you're help. Is that right, you little [ __ ] If they turn up again, I'll get word to you straight away. Thank you truly. Wait, that's it? Damn. So, I just had to check on that dude. That was all I had to do. Well, Okay. All right. Well, I guess I should probably do this one, too, then. Oh, I already did that. Thick. Oh, I don't have thick heights. Okay. I I guess I'll go back over. Well, it doesn't let me teleport. now it does. Apparently, Luke Online, the director was fired halfway. There was another one used to it. Could explain a lot. I think that really it it's probably like it looks like there were like three or four like iterations of this game and there are systems and like indicators from all three or four of those like development cycles. I think that's the that's the confusing part about it. Okay, let's talk to him. How are things at the apothecary? They're good. You talked to them. I'm sure the folk at the apothecary feel safer already. I did that. Building trust like this always pays. I'm an amazing person. Good work. This will do wonders for our reputation. And now I get a bag, too, right? Wait, where's my bag? It says Ross quest completed. Okay, where's the Where's the bag, though? Greyman contribution. Okay, that's good. and inventory expansion. Okay, that's good. Wait, what? What the hell? Wait, what the [ __ ] This isn't the first time. Okay, you pull this every time and never follow through. Damn. Shut up, you nagg. What is this? What? Oh, I already saw this before. Uh, this is like her trying to get a dog. Wait, that's not what I meant. Forget it. I'm done. You never listen anyway. Oh, good. You talk to her. Mhm. I've got nothing left to see. Don't be like that. He's overreacting. She found a dog up in town and thought I'd bring it. Then you got all high and mighty saying I shouldn't take a life I can't care for. What happened to the other one? It's hardly my fault it decided. So she already let one dog die and now she wants another dog. It's on him if that poor thing ends up stoned or starved. Going somewhere. An errand for Carl. So I have to follow her. Ride a horse and follow N. I don't want to follow this [ __ ] I know. We never stay in one place. We risk dying every other week. Are you [ __ ] kidding me? Never mind. I know I can't always look after them, and I know the last one ran off cuz it got hungry waiting for us. So, I got to go with her. Let's go, [ __ ] Right. Jesus. But what? I'm supposed to just walk past it? It was soaked, shivering in the rain. Typical women. Little shits were throwing rocks at it. Ooh. Based. Any decent soul would have stepped in to stop me. How can you ignore its desperate cries? Oh my god. That's what you lot are. Oh my god, bro. Like, this is like Twitter. Okay, let's go. Let's go. you sound just like when we were kids. And what exactly do you mean by that? You sound like a dumb [ __ ] Lash out. Sound like a dumb [ __ ] That's what he's trying to say. Help. Got bit me. I was shy. That's all. You know I'm not great with strangers. Where the hell do I need to go? Over Andrew's meals broke Marius's arm. Damn. What a [ __ ] Yan every day. Yan deserved it. He only ever said things that piss me off. Think I said it was She's crazy. Nerves. Me? That's only natural to be on your guard in strange surroundings. No accountability. Yeah. I mean, so Una thought I some scared little pup. More like an abandon. I want Let me go back. I'm gonna loot this whenever I get back. I'm going to put a marker here cuz I want to go back and loot these things. It feels like [ __ ] to be the abandoned cub. Jesus, bro. Like, we're here now. What was it Carl was after again? Okay. Ah, you go fetch some meat. I'll pick up the woolen hides. We'll meet back at the town gate. Oh my god. Oh my god. Now. Uh, buy lean meat. Okay. Well, where's the meat? Just a minute. Oh, wait. What's this? What's this? Warren. Who the [ __ ] is Warren? What the [ __ ] is this warrant? Wait, I get $25. Wait, that guy's gizzy. If you're looking for quality, you wouldn't be looking here, eh? It's a street vendor. Well, is this guy selling anything? Shop. I mean, he should be selling the lean meat himself, right? Buy Oh my god. Like, why would you want me to [ __ ] between the day? Why would you [ __ ] want me to go all the way over here if the guy I'm supposed to buy [ __ ] from is all the way over there? Why would you do that? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Here's another one. Here's another one. Simon. Who the [ __ ] is Simon? This guy looks like a [ __ ] okay. So, where's that box? There it is. Okay, I got I looted that. Okay, good. He's French. Oh, yeah. Slide down 50 meters. How the hell do you slide? Is it crouch? Oh, that that's kind of easy to do. Okay, so where where's this where's this loser here? Right. Where's this loser? We got to go find him. It says Hernand requests. Where does it say? Where's the [ __ ] Okay, here it is. Here's Simon. There's a honey thief. Where is he? Apprehend the outlaw. Where the hell is he? God damn. He's all the way over there. Oh my god. All right. We got to go get him. I'm going to go get him right now. The game is deceptively easy to navigate. It should not be too long for me to go get him. Shut up. do I need to kill these guys? I don't think I do. Oh, I do. I do. I do. I do feel like my damage is higher now. like I I feel like I'm doing way more damage. [ __ ] Yeah, I'm doing way bigger damage now. [ __ ] him. [ __ ] him. You know what I mean? [ __ ] him, dude. Look at all this stuff I'm getting. Wait, cuz I never looted anything. So I I could have been looting stuff this whole time. This is why I haven't had any money. I Okay, so what's this here? I just got a tarnished ring, but I already have a worn ring. So, I feel like it's basically the same [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] about this [ __ ] piece of You can wear too. No, I can't. Oh [ __ ] I can. I can. I can. It didn't look like I could. Okay. What about All right. I caught a badger. So, can I shoot him? I skinned it. Wait, now I'm skinning What did I get? Oh, damn. I got Oh, I needed that actually. That's good. I'm happy. Okay, let's go up here. Actually, it's horse time. Let's go. Where's he at? There's he at Wait, what? What? I got to go around. No, I can go through this, right? Oh my god. I got to go around. No, I think going around will be faster than climbing. Climbing is kind of oppressive. I don't want to be oppressed. Yeah, this is a better idea. See, look look look look. It's so It's so cozy. Um Yeah. We're going through here. I keep riding in the trees and [ __ ] maybe I should just follow the path. Let me just go follow the path. What the [ __ ] is going on? This is brutal. Oh [ __ ] All right, respawn. Swingshot trees. I haven't really done that before. Run. Get going. Okay, now we're going to get this [ __ ] Oh my god. Oh my god. Where I need to go. all right. I've made it. So, now what? I need to get over to here. I need to get to this Okay, let me get back on my horse. Let's go. Let's go, man. okay. Finally. Now we can actually go somewhere. Okay. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. I'm not going to worry about it. Go. Hurry up. All right. Where is this guy? His name's Simon. There he is. What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you seeking revenge? I can't do that. Come here. Come here. There it is. Please, please release me. I've got to eat honey. Hit him in the face. Oh, what's wrong? What else would a bear have but honey? Uh-uh. Because I'm a bear, you see. Oh no, Jeff. No. My time up. How much more must I eat for you to come back? Mom, forgive me. I beg you. Forgive me. Where does he need to go? Oh my god. No. How the [ __ ] do I get him all the way Mom, you swore you'd come back. Okay, let's go. Only a monster would steal a bear's honey. Excuse me. Hey, we're just going to go through this way and we're going to take the mountains. We'll take the mountain pass. It should be fine. Come on. There we go. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's another tree. Perfect. Smack him in the trees. This story might not have a happy ending. I put my heart into eating all that It might not. I'm thinking about maybe just killing them. B, honey. I think maybe I'll just kill him. I'm going to I'm going to try I'm going to try and get through this though. I'm going to try and get through it. Eat him. I was thinking about taking him up to the top of the mountain and throwing him off. that was my thinking. But we we might not have to do that. But if we do have to do that, we will do it. I will not I reserve the right to do Oh [ __ ] Okay, that's where we need to be. Right there. money. And we got to go down slow so we don't lose the horse. Forgive me. I beg you. I think we're going to kill him whenever we get back home. I think we're going to do that. He's just been talking too much. I don't like that. This is by far the shittiest good game. Wow. what the hell? What are these tr What the [ __ ] Please let me go, Mom. Run. Okay. Um, go down here. I think that we're making good progress, though. Damn. What? Look at all these animals. Oh my god. What is this? A [ __ ] manger scene? Jesus. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't. What do I do? I can't move them. Get on the horse. Okay. I don't tackle him, but there's no there's no icon for what to do. It bugged. No, if I if I do this. Oh, wait. Gentlemen, I think he has to die. I think it's over. I have to kill him. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Okay. Well, maybe if I hit him, it stopped, right? Can I loot him now? I mean, he's dead. He's dead. I killed him. I killed him. He's dead. Load the auto save. Whoa. Wait. Oh, yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Wait a minute. Where am Okay. Uh, save. Load game. Autosave. Oh, dude. Dude, this was like I don't know if this is going to It says 17. I feel like I'm going to have to go all the way back. You still have to bring the corpse. Okay. So, how do I do that? It doesn't let me loot the corpse. Do it. Oh my god. Look, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to save before I get to this area. So [ __ ] annoying. The dumbest [ __ ] game I've ever played in my life. [ __ ] piece of Holy [ __ ] How many How many loading screens do we have to do? So, you go through one loading screen and let me guess, there's another loading screen. There it is. [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you, man. [ __ ] this game. Where is he? Where is this [ __ ] ass? I see him. Get ready to run him down. There he is. There's There's There's more. Got him. Got him. That's right. Time up. I just All right. All right. There it is. Okay, we hog tied him. Okay. So, now we're going to do it the right way. back? Mom. All right. We're going to do the same thing. Okay. We'll go up through here. This should be easy. This should be easy now that we know what to do. Can he go on the back of the horse? No, he's tied up, bro. We got him hog tied. [ __ ] no. He can't go on the back of the horse. So, can I just go and kill all those animals? Theoretically. Theoretically, I could just go and kill all of them for me. Hey. Yes. Damn. Why? Why? Why didn't I just start doing that? Okay. Now, I already know where to go here. So, there's no there's no risk that I can make a mistake. Zero risk. All right. Perfect. Let's go. See, told you guys. This last time. This last time. Wait, there's two auto saves. Just follow the path. It doesn't let me. Why can't you pick him up again? Cuz it's broken. Cuz the game the game's broke. That's the reason why. Like it. Do you think like I would do it if I could [ __ ] do it? But the game is Oh my god. Come on. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's get this. Let's wrap this up. Let's do it. You can kick him so he lies down again. All right. I'm going to try that if I die again. After every area I get through, I'm going to save. Okay. after every single area. Okay, there he is. There he is. Come here. Come here. There you go. All right, now let's go. All right, so as soon as I get off that area, all this for 10 coins. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to get way more than What do you mean it's going to be 10 coins? I put my heart into eating all that. No way. I did all this for 10 coins. Huh? Your little bear is still here waiting. Watch. Watch. Okay, here we go. Come here, you little [ __ ] All the way up here. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, 10 jars. Mother, you swore you'd come back? You piece of [ __ ] Come on. I'll never touch it again. I swear. So, I should just go around. I think I should just go around killing goats. Honestly, I should just I should just be the goat destroyer. I just go around here. I just go run them all over. I need to get like a tank or something. I feel like that would save a lot of time. I'm a bear. Huff bear. Little bear. Ha. All right. Before I I'm going to get up here. I'm going to save. Forgive me. I beg you. I'm going to get up here. I'm going to save. Okay. All right. Now, I'm going to save right now. I'm save right now. Options. Save game. Uh, save. R. Save. So, we're going to go down here. Go down here. Down there. I've eaten it all. Mom, please hurry See? See? It's okay. I'll never touch you. I swear I'm going to save in just a minute. Just not yet. I'm saving right now. Save again. Save game over right. It's a bald eagle. go. Get going. just a minute. Just a minute. So, now we're going to go down this way. We're going to go down here and then we're going to go to there. Please hurry back. Okay, now we're going to save again. We're going to save. We're saving again. Saving again right now. Saving again. Okay. All right. Now, now I think I can go the rest of the way. We're the mards. H bear. Her bear. Little bear. Run. Huh? Forgive me. Wait, how do I get up there? Oh no. kick him. Okay. It says mission failed. It says the target has died or left the escort area. that's why we save. That's That's exactly the reason why we we loaded the game. This exact reason this exact reason this exact reason why I loaded like cuz I knew this I knew that was going to happen. There are two minutes loading. No, this is the last time I have to do it. I'm not going to have to do it again after this. Crazy how this game has so many bugs. Yeah, it is right. It's crazy. Wow. Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? Yeah, I'm feeling it. Just know I have a plan. I have a new plan. The old plan didn't work. I've got a new strategy how we're going to handle this. It's all right. No, it's okay. It's all right. It's fine. I wanted that I wanted that to happen. I wanted that to happen. That's an auto save, big dog. That No, trust me. Like, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. I'm going to be right next to him. I'm going to go capture him right now. Watch. This game or the lesbian game? Which one's better? This game's going to turn me into a lesbian by the time I finish it. There. There. Come here. Come here. Come here. Got it. Okay, guys. We hog tied this [ __ ] And now, Mom, I've had loads of honey. Come back now. Come here. Come here. Get on. Now it's time for the final ride. Get going. Simon's final ride. Stealing honey. Forgive me. It'll be worth it. I beg you. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We need not a road. No, no, no, no. It's fine. Jesus Christ. I've eaten it all. Mom, please hurry Yeah, this is good. This is good. come on. Come on. Okay, we're not We can't go up that way. It's just like It's literally impossible. It's all right. I wanted this to happen. Bomb right 10 chars. Mom, you swore you'd come I put my heart into eating all that I'll never touch it again. I swear. Yeah. Forgive me. Mom, your little bear is still here waiting. Mom, I'm frightened. Why did I not Why is the quest not failed? Is that him? Wait, it didn't even fail the quest. Oh, there he is. Search. Well, what do I do with it now? Like I I dead or alive. But like I can't but I can't pick him up though. Read the note. What does the note say? It doesn't say I can't inspect. Doesn't say I can do it. I can't do it. Press control to pick up corpses. Okay. It doesn't work. Okay. Submit the note. All right. All right. Let me see what it says. No. Get rid of that [ __ ] marker. Gay game. Is that what they call it? Aim the lantern at it. I mean, I don't know. Like, it's [ __ ] Who knows how the game's supposed to work. Nobody knows. Nobody has any idea. Okay, so now what do I do? Wait, what? It says mission failed. Wait, there's another bounty. Have you got a moment? No. No. No, bro. Like, no. No. Excuse me. Have you got a moment? Okay. They want me to get another one of these [ __ ] Wait, it says apprehend the outlaw. Excuse me. What do you want? What the [ __ ] So, it just failed the f Okay, give me a Wait, no, it changed the quest. It changed the quest. Wait a minute. Okay, Simon. Wait. Oh my Okay, let's see. Uh, now what do I All right. All right. [ __ ] this. [ __ ] this. [ __ ] this. [ __ ] this. All right. Now, we're going to focus on this instead. Main quest. Let's go to that [ __ ] bounty. Let's get this done. We're gonna get this goddamn We're gonna kill this [ __ ] this this gorilla and it's going to be over. All right, it's monkey time. Let's go. Give me a minute. I got that [ __ ] God damn. Jesus. Okay. There's a lot of these little [ __ ] bounties. Wait, there's another bounty. Grand General has ensured another one. Jesus, how many of these [ __ ] are there? I do hope you enjoy. All right, let's do it. Give me a second. Let me make sure I have everything equipped that I want to have equipped. Okay, so inventory. All this is good. Yeah, I've got space. I probably could upgrade the ring, but I don't I don't really need to worry about that too much. Okay, so I think that we have like I mean we have everything that we need. We just need to [ __ ] go kill them, right? I mean, damn. I think it's easy. Probably prep then save. Get food. I think I have food, right? Don't I have food? Yeah, I've got a lot of food, man. Look at all these food. That's all the soup that I got. Yeah, this is I honestly I think that we're fine. All right, let's do it. Yes, one of the orchestrators of that incident. Ah, there you are. Greymane, I see you got your invit. I told you I heard the news, but did you read? Let us hope it's just an old man's. Just relax and enjoy the festivities. Let's go inside. Yes. Come. The banquet is about to begin. Duke Caliburn has not been seen since. So, you can't even skip this behind the even after I did it. coronation. The purge that ousted countless Deminisian nobles. Oh, look. It's the Deminist delegation. And now the time to unveil the Grand General's special gift. Oh, it's about to open. What could it be? What could possibly be in my With the blessing of great Solomon, we celebrate the arrival of this bountiful harvest season. We call this a gift. On behalf of the king of Grand General Bastier, this grand display though chaos reigns and isn't this the alliance between Hernand and Deminis shall endure. No skip. No skip. And those who threaten our shall meet the same. We got to kill Wong. Yep. Ready up. Aim. This is Can't skip, but at least it's sped up. Why would they even do this? This is the dumbest thing to do. What are you playing? Is everything all right? Enough. All right. It's time. Let this serve to remind under the guidance of the great kingdom of Deminis. Did you upgrade your sword? I did I did everything. I'm ready. I'm ready to [ __ ] this gorilla in the ass. Like it's over. I've already beat him. I won't leave you. You need to protect. He's already dead. I can handle the beast. Very well. Let's do it. [ __ ] ass [ __ ] There. Where you going? Get out. Get out of the way. Heat. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. All right. This is new. This is new. We haven't been here. I'm totally prepared now. I'm totally prepared. Oh, I could have instant revived. [ __ ] I didn't even think of that. I didn't think he was going to hit me like that. So, here's what we do now. I'm going to start the fight. I immediately use every potion. Immediately use every single one. Where's my potions? These are all 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Five minutes. Yes, five minutes is more than enough. One. Oh, I can only use one at a time. Okay. This is max level and attack speed. Okay, that's good. Can I Can I get a food buff at all? Oh, I can get All right. I can eat this. Oh, it doesn't let me. So, I I only have one food buff at a time. I didn't know that. All right, let's do this. This [ __ ] What's going on? What's going on? Bat [ __ ] There it is. There it is. All right, we're going to beat him. That's right. That's right. Yep. Uh-huh. No. Don't no do it. Okay, one more. One more. What's wrong? What's wrong, bat? Do it. See what happens. Nope. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no. Why? Okay. Jesus Christ. Got it. I didn't even need to spam heals. Only at that last part. No way. That's No way. No way. No way. No way. Die, [ __ ] Die, [ __ ] Die, [ __ ] That's right, [ __ ] Little [ __ ] That's what I thought. Holy [ __ ] man. What a [ __ ] ass. Holy I should have put money on the other one. what was that? Holy [ __ ] So, what did I get out of that? I got a mace. Uh, spirit siphon. That seems stupid. Why the [ __ ] I want that? I don't want that piece of [ __ ] What about this attack speed? Well, that seems really good. Howling chaos. Emmed says shockwave. That seems pretty good. That was [ __ ] cool. Damn, we beat his dick off, bro. Like, that was crazy. We went hard as [ __ ] against him. Like, that monkey did not [ __ ] around. All right. Where's the guy? What's up, [ __ ] It's me. It's me. It's me. The guy that saved the day. The champion. The hero. You shouldn't be here. I didn't expect things would come to What is Bastier even thinking? I'm not certain, but it's clear he has no intention of leaving Hernand in peace. Mhm. And from what I found out, there's good reasons to believe that that beast wasn't the only thing he sent. You best keep your voice down. There's talk that others slipped into her. Why is Fatty crashing out? What's he doing? I've also received information connected to you and your people. Uh-oh. The black bears who attacked you. The black bears. Records show someone in Deinis has been supplying them. But their identity remains unknown. There may be another force moving against you. Damian, we should move before someone spots us. What the [ __ ] does this have to do with her? I'll dig deeper into this. Please stay alert. Okay, I will stay alert. I will be the most alert. Nobody's ever been more alert than I am. Let's be honest, guys. Like, I beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of him. Wait, that was crazy. Is this the letter? Where's the letter? That's bounties. All right. What does it say? What does it say? Witches on the ground. Uh, what the [ __ ] Witches on the ground. Faction quest. Go meet the witch. Where's this [ __ ] at? Diamond. I can I can mine diamonds already. Damn. I'm just that guy. Okay. So, it doesn't even tell me where she is. Like, it says go meet the witch. There's no objective for me to What the [ __ ] am I? So, I have to look this up. Where is she? Where's she at? Where's the witch? Maybe she in the other one. Is that it? No. She's in a swamp. Yeah, but I don't know where the swamp is. Where's the Where's the map? Cuz like she's clearly not on the map. Where's she at? Yeah, I I gotta find it. The letter, bro. What does the letter say? I got to read the [ __ ] letter. What does it say? What lies at the end? No one can predict. This is What the [ __ ] does this even mean? One deemed unauthorized has recently crossed over from the abyss. Across the continent, there are other witches. Seek them out for them to lend you your strength. Like it doesn't it doesn't even say anything. Like it it Where's it at? Like there's there's no indicator. She's on the left side of the map. Looks like a star. side of the map. I don't see it. I'm I'm not seeing anything more south like here's the yellow pain. I mean, you've got to get like I mean, like every like I mean, it's got like it didn't even give me anywhere to go. Like I mean, like it's not even this is not even yellow paint. Like it in a game like like it it should tell you like like where the [ __ ] she is. No hand holding. Well, but like imagine if you want somebody to come over to your house. You would tell them where the house is. You would be like, "My house is here." So why do I need to meet a witch if it doesn't tell me where the [ __ ] to go? What the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] So, I'm just stuck. Why can I not kill Why can't I kill this thing? Why can't I kill it? Okay, now it's dead. Thank god. Just screw this is the point of exploration, finding secrets. It's not a secret. It's the main quest. It's the main story quest. I I I can't even know where the [ __ ] to go. I caught a centipede raccoons. Can I kill a hedgehog? Yeah, I can. Human centipede. No, it's just a normal centipede. Just a normal one. Oh, wait. I killed both the hedgehogs at the same time. That's kind of [ __ ] up that I did that, but you know, you got to do what you got to do, right? It's Witchwood north of where you are. North of where I am. The witch woods. Okay, now it's showing up. Okay, I guess I'll go that over there. It's got to be at the witchwoods, right? I mean like logically. I do have like honestly like my gear now is so good. Like I killed that guy was Am I going the right way? Yeah, I am. Let me just get on Let me get on my I should probably just start killing some of these dogs and [ __ ] so I can skin them, but I haven't really been doing that. And we have to look for mining areas, too. So, like if we see a mining area, we got to do it. this could be one right up there. Look at that. minute. Okay, so can I can I mine this now? No, that's bismouth. It needs force punch. Wait, really? Really? No, that's not it either. Maybe I can do like this. N it doesn't work either. It's the fourth punch. Okay. It's not the fourth punch. It's not It's not true. Okay. So, I can't mine that. A piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] They said there's red things around me. Where are they? Wait, what? What is this? Monty Python. Wait, what? Wait, wait. What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] Whoa. Whoa. What was that? Okay, I didn't do anything. But I didn't even get anything out of this one ascent. Wait, wait. These things drop gems. [ __ ] this. I'm instant reviving. Okay. Um All right. We got we got to think this one out. Okay. So, here's what we got to do. We got to come at him from an angle. we're going to do the big attack and then we're going to run away. All right. That's what we have to do. Try fire. I don't have fire arrows. Okay. Scene of the crime. Defeated. on him. An abyss cell. What the hell is an abyss cell? Oh, I got a goat. So, here's the strategy. I'm going to go in on him. All right, we got to think. We got to think outside the box. We got to think outside the bush. we're going to think about this fire arrow situation, okay? Because very clearly I can't defeat him in melee. I just I cannot do it. I can't defeat them. They're too powerful. Explosive arrows. I don't have any. So, here's what we do. All right. We're going to clear out the small ones and then we're going to wait and we're going to kill the big one. You guys see where I'm where I'm coming from, right? Like, I actually think this is the right way to play it. Damn, I'm getting a lot of these abyss cells. I don't even know what the hell they are. who's on the map? I didn't even Oh my god, man. Like I It was on the map. Like, I couldn't even see him. All right. Let's figure out what we're going to do with this arrows. Okay. All right. So, we have arrows and we have poison arrows. That's literally it. We don't have any fire arrows. There's nothing I can do that's going to do fire damage. craft them, can I do that? You have to light a regular arrow in the fire. Exactly. So, can I wait? So, can I start a How do I start a fire? Can I start a fire? How I I I don't even know. Oh, I I don't even know how to do that. How about that? There explosive arrows. Yeah, I don't have any. Use your blinding light ability. Okay. It's not working. Whoa. Wait, wait. What's this? Wait a minute. I need to be closer. What does this do? Like it takes time. It's not working, man. He's going to just hit me, isn't he? He's just going to [ __ ] hit me, isn't he? [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] This is the worst idea I've ever had. Okay. All right. Let me think right now. Use the ability from a distance. Use force palm. Okay. It's a good idea. Drink. I'm I'm really nervous that he's just going to eat me, though. I am. I'm so nervous. The [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] break it. wait. What? Huh. Okay. This This is a fire one. All right. One more. One more again. One more again. come here. Wait, it says seal. What does seal do? I just I just eat these. I just ate it. it's kind of [ __ ] up, honestly. Mhm. I still don't know. Okay. I'm in the Witchwoods. That's the bald eagle you saved. I haven't I didn't do the thing yet. So, wait. Could I just go and do this? I just killed like three of them. This is amazing. Wowee. Okay, so this has nothing to do with what I was trying to do, though. Okay, so what about the light on the mountain side? Yeah, it's true. You're right about that. Maybe I could go over to there. Like I don't know if that's what I have to do or not. Like I'm just like Like I'm just thinking right now like what what do I even need to do? Oh, maybe it's up there. Like yeah, maybe it's up in that. I mean like I don't know. Like I'm just It doesn't tell me where to go or like what to do or like it doesn't even give me any any sort of like go this way or I'm in this area. It just literally says there's a witch, go meet the witch and it never says use your brain. But what what how could you possibly how could you come to any conclusion based off of that? It doesn't mean Maybe it's up here. Google I'm going to look this up on the Google in a minute. If it's not up here, I'm going to look it up on the Google because it's like it's just there's no indicator at all on what to do. You're freezing. I know that there's a small house right below Witchwood's label on the map. this that's a quarry. That's a trapping workshop. I don't know. Maybe it's here. [ __ ] man. Just idiot. is a where do I need to go? It's right there. So, there's a separate quest line that's called Witches. Oh my [ __ ] god. Okay. Oh my god, bro. Oh my god. Reading's hard. Well, there's like 50 other indicators on the map. Like I I've actually I think somebody really had it right whenever they said earlier that like this is the worst this is the the like the worst good game we've ever played. Like it's actually crazy how badly this is designed. It it it's really impressive. I've never played something that's like this badly designed before. Let me go over to here. Okay, that's the right way. The map is even [ __ ] Everything about the game is [ __ ] Okay, it doesn't matter. Wait, what's this? Wait, we got to fight these guys. How many more do we need? Ooh, not too many. Only three more. Why are we busting our asses for those bleed [ __ ] anyways? What a load of shite. And Nan's got a plan to sort them. We Is there something that can be fixed? Yeah, they can fix it. They can fix some things. I don't think they can fix everything. Hold on. We've got ourselves a nosy rat. Kill him. What are y'all mad for? We all mad for What are you doing to my game? Damn, that was it. He's dead already. Jesus. What a loser. Wait. Why would I Why would I do that? I'm stuck. Let me out. But how do I get in? Okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. Stuck. Let me out. Ooh, an abyss artifact. Please, I beg mercy. Untie. Oh, thank you. I was waiting for you to come. Even picking up items is a fight with the camera. The whole everything in the game is the wisdom lead you to do what is right. Everything is tedious. Everything is harder than it has to be. Welcome to visit my abode. Okay. So, where do I have to go? Wait, just disappear. Guide your path. Okay. Well, let's go find her. Wait, but okay. So, now now I now I I can know where she is because I go to journal and it says meet Aoen the witch. Okay. So, now now I know where to go. Wait, what's this? Okay, never mind. Let's go. I'll try. Right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. What's this? What are you doing? Anybody else? That's what I thought. Oh my god, my inventory is full again. [ __ ] yes. Smash you [ __ ] damn. He died fast. Okay, so now everybody's dead, right? Okay. And let me see. Is there anything I need to get rid of here? Uh, how do I even equip these into my gear? I don't even [ __ ] know. Uh, okay. So, abyss item. Damn, this shit's a lot of money. Damn, I got a lot of stuff now, huh? Okay. Uh, let me just use all. Okay, that's pretty good. And now I've got one space open. And that's the only space I can really have. cloth pieces. Okay, it's not so bad. Okay, you can group items. I don't know how that works. Like, what does it mean by group items? Like, so if I go like select group. Wait, what? I didn't want to do that. What do you mean group items? Says eat. There's a different indicator for each Select group. What does this mean? T is group. But the inventory is it doesn't change. It doesn't matter. Like I I still have the same amount of inventory. like it it it it doesn't even like it deletes it from my inventory, but now it's just in another inventory. That doesn't save any time at all. Now I just have Now I've got to deal with Now I've got to deal with a separate meta inventory. [ __ ] Okay, who cares? Let's move on. Ruby doesn't do anything. Just hold them together. Yeah. Oo, the red flowers. And let's see this. Got creating another menu. Yeah. Okay. The witch's house. Okay. Oh. Oh, I can't even loot anything. That's right. Kindness springs from wisdom, and wisdom weaves new bonds. Listen to requests. I've long awaited the threat that would lead you here. As you know, we witches are wielders of arcane power. It is our duty to keep balance between this world and the abyss. But of late, forces have risen to suppress our power. Damn, that's bad. The sanctuaries that anchor our magic and uphold order, they seek to seize them and drown them in darkness. We ask that you help restore the fallen sanctuaries. And restore order. I'll do that. Um, what is that? Wait, that's it. The school workshops harvest abyssal power. Modify your equipment to create abyss gear sockets or freely embed and extract gears. You can craft basic gears as well as combine multiple gears to craft special ones. Okay. Um, control. Uh, let's see. Workshop. Welcome. Okay. So, embed gear create a socket. Um, so this one already has a socket that already has all its sockets on it to begin with. I'm going to try to create a socket with It's $14. That's ridiculous. I guess I need to just put all these sockets on one at a time, right? So, if each one's $14, that means that now we're seeing the grind. This isn't a grind. This take me 10 minutes to do. Like, all I have to do is just go farm mobs and sell all the stuff. It's a joke. Okay. Uh, I'm going to do one socket for this then. Oh, it's five. Five gold for that one. Okay. I've only got $6 left and I can do one more. Okay. So, all that's upgraded. So, so now what do I do? Okay. So, equip gear. So, I added the sockets. I'm going to buy what can I buy? A blueprint for abyss gear. Increases stamina. Health regen. Spirit regen. Engrave silver earring. Well, I already have that. Engrave copper earring. I feel like I already have. Yeah, I already have this. Okay, so Oh, I can just buy abyss artifacts. Reclaim the abyss artifacts invested in the st. Oh. Oh, these are respecs. Okay, wander at your leisure. What about sell? Wait, see what caused you? I can just sell anything I want to her. Okay, great. I'm going just sell all this [ __ ] right now. This is actually good. Centipede. Okay, I don't want a centipede. I want to sell him. Abyss cells. I wonder if I need to use those like before I before I get rid of that spirit siphon. So, let me sell the neck right now. And what else do I really not need? Like Rhett's poster. Why the [ __ ] do I need Rhett's poster? [ __ ] you, Rhett. I'm selling your [ __ ] Fish porridge. It's [ __ ] disgusting. Re poster. [ __ ] that [ __ ] I'm selling that, too. Once you study books, you throw them away. Yeah. I'm trying to figure this out. Okay. Uh, Hernandan require. I I need that. I'm just going to sell this sword. I'm never going to use the sword anyway. Doesn't matter. Okay. Uh, the mallet. I might need the mallet and clear soup, I think. Oh, I already made that, so I shouldn't need to worry about that. Alchemy. Okay. So, so all right. Again. So create craft abyss gear. Craft an abyss gear. An unidentified abyss gear. What the [ __ ] Destruction steel bed. See what create socket embed in this gear. Okay. So, I'm going to put the Well, I should put this in, right? Can I just take these in and out Yes. Okay. So, why does it say I can't do this? Cuz there's not. Cuz I can't do it. I see why. Okay. Climb spill tw. All right. So, I don't care about that. Movement speed one. That's better than zero. And then what about these gloves that I can do swift? I can embed this. Is she pregnant? No, I don't think. Maybe. Maybe she is. Okay, so this is like I feel like now I'm actually like now I'm farming. we meet again. All right. So, create. So, I can't buy anything that's worthwhile. Really? A blueprint for abyss gear composure. So, health regen. I want that. I bought that. Okay. So, do I have to do I have to read this piece of [ __ ] What does it say? Hello. abyss cell versus an antidote and a bear bladder. Well, [ __ ] Okay, let me ex let me examine this. All right, this is So I did haste and we also did movement speed. So we can sell these now, right? So now I can talk to her and then I can craft, right? So craft abyss gear. I don't have any bears. I only have one movement speed. So, I want to get vitality. Like, I want to get my I want I want big health regen because if I get that on everything, that's like f that's like one health every second, which is crazy amount of health. So especially if it's vitality one because it means one synthesis that's vitality 2 and this is vitality 3 special synthesis. Oh, so this is this is the MMO gotcha element. It says tier 2 destruction. What does that mean? destruction insight three. Wait, damn. So, I got to do all this just to get God damn. And then and then I I do all this just for a fusion, a tier three abyss gear. Well, why would I want to do a Oh, but it's a greater abyss gear. What the [ __ ] So, if it's at 4% for a greater abyssier for every level, then why would I ever want to do this? wonder. I don't even see the reason why I would do that. Is a gear the best gear? No, they're like gems cuz BDO. So, what is this? What is this question mark in here? It says uh there's a secret layer. What? What? Uh what? There is a what? Where it be at? you passed it. No, I didn't. Maybe it's in here. Oh, it's got it's got Whoa. Hold. What does this say? What does the tree Not enough space to lift it higher. Okay. So, that doesn't even work. It's a secret. No, I'll figure it out. Maybe it's Maybe it's in here. No, it's not. But it says there's a secret. Damn. Get me the [ __ ] out of here. I just don't know where the [ __ ] it is. Use blinding flash to find it. Wait, can you do that? Wait, what the [ __ ] Is that a fairy? Is that a fairy? Wait, that was it? Oh, damn. I thought it was some kind of crazy [ __ ] It's just a teleporter. Okay. So, we did all this, we did that, we did this. So, I'm thinking that Why is this so big? Crowaller. Return to Hernand. Cuz maybe remember that place I discovered at the beginning of the stream where where it was like a woman's voice and she's like, "You're not you're you're early, right? You're you're premature." Bonding flash everywhere to find skill points. Yeah, I didn't know that. That's crazy. I'm going to use that all the fate. I'm just I'm I'm trying to just see like how how it works. Okay, maybe I need to go up to this one, right? Speak with a soldier. Who is it? Greymane, sir. Trouble. Grave trouble. We've got unknown intruders running rampant in the keep. I scarce know how to describe it. Kill them. Ghosts. It was if we were fighting ghosts. Any idea who they might be? None. Just crow feathers strewn at the sea. Hey, we've got something. Intruders got past the guard. They've breached the inner keep. Save us. They were tearing the place apart as if searching for something. What the hell is going on? Then suddenly they vanish. They disappear. They might still be lurking around the castle. We should keep an eye out. We're there. We're there. Track down the intruder. You need to be more careful. Where is he? Maybe he's up here. It would make sense that he's at the top. You stinking t. No. I've yet to receive word from the marquee. Please leave. I don't know. Is this the intruder? Nobody. Who the [ __ ] is this guy? Track the invader. Get through without the mark. Where the [ __ ] is he? Where's the guy? Like there's there's no indicator. Use the light. I hit the wrong button. No, that's not it either. Use the lantern. Okay, but I wanted to use the lantern. It's going to be in this door. Okay, this has got to help it, right? But that that was not even part of the quest. Maybe we go in through here. Okay, you can't go in through there. You want some? Key used to unlock the door, but I can't use the door. What the [ __ ] am I supposed to do? Like, I It doesn't even tell me what to do. There's no indicator at all. Like I this one slipped its leash. It just says use the vision helmet on the ghost. How do you how how do you know to do You should not have done that. Wait, what was this? I discovered a bonfire. I already knew that. Bottom right icon. Enough snoring. On your feet and gear yourself. Did you forget we're supposed to head out to the Riverwood Outpost today? Orders are to scout the ground. We're leaving now. Escape will kind of act as an interact key. The escape button is an interact button. Oh my god. Okay. Um, so all right. Um, Now, now I did that. So, now that I did that, this is the one from before. Just search the castle. Okay. I can't go in that one. Okay. How about this? Okay. All right. This one I can go in. All right. I'm going to steal this right now. Easy, easy, easy, easy. There it is. It's mine now. You need to buy a key, but I already bought a bunch of keys and I used all of them. Open up doors that don't work. So, I just have to infinitely I have to just buy infinite keys and then open up doors that I don't even know will work. There's no way that's what I'm supposed to do. There's no way. It's upstairs. Okay. I don't think this is it. Maybe I'll go over to the other side. Learn some decorum. It's not here. I don't know. Maybe it's up at the top. If it's not up here, I'm going to look it up. what is what do I have to do here? What's it called? All right. What do we do? So, it says track the invader. And I go into here. I go up to there. I go into here. Okay. It's there. All right. Got it. You're tracking the wrong quest. No, I'm not. So, it's this one, right? Wait, no. No, it's the second floor. Hey, why can't people play games anymore? There's no indication of like what to do in the game. Like, a game has to give you some sort of like indication of like where to go or what to do, right? I mean, you can't head to the archive. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Like, there's nothing that told you to do that anywhere. So, you just have to randomly run around infinitely until you find the thing that they want you to look for. No, I don't want to do that. It's a waste of my time. It's [ __ ] annoying. Okay, so now we're back off where it all began. cuz you didn't read. No, it didn't tell me what to do. But it never said it never said anywhere on there to do that. Okay. So now what? I guess I got to go in here. It's problem solving. It's not problem solving. It's just doing the same thing over and over. Oh. Oh. Oh [ __ ] God dick. What the [ __ ] you down. Jesus held him into the ground. Anybody else? Get ambushed. I did. All right. Well, at least now we know we're in the right spot. It's you. Uhoh. Hello. I thought he was like a wizard or something. He just gets stabbed. What happened? White crow has been taken. Uh-oh. What do you mean? Who did this to you? My wounds matter not. You must find her quickly. I have to save the girl. follow him. The crow and stop the black Who is that? One who coverts white crow's black witch. If she succeeds in claiming it, that's going to be bad, right? White Crow must never fall into her hands. No matter what. I thought you just got stabbed. You must do whatever it takes. Okay, I have to save. Go after him. Find what? Why didn't you do that before you got stabbed? so where's the white crow? Wait, what? Where is it? What tracking car is warning. Okay, there it is. All right, good. All right, now I'mma teleport. And I guess actually I can just [ __ ] I can just walk over here and then just jump off. He despawned. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. I'm going this way. I'm going this way. Good. It's like I'm playing PUBG again. Going all the way down. Let's go. Where? Where? Okay, perfect. I bet this is where the crow thing. One of the vaunted grey mains. Took you long enough. Where is white crow? White crow. Ah, you mean the offering? The offering. On her way to the altar as we see. Oh [ __ ] I've long wondered why mother ever cared for the likes of you. Let's find out. Tell me. Let's go. Is this the best you got? I'm ready to fight this guy. Let's go. What an utter disappointment. If this is the true extent of a gray man, then I have no more business here. Wait, what? No. I I thought I was going to get a boss fight. Stop right there. Why would mother bother with such filth? Can I teleport? Take them alive. I'll break you too now in Where is Where's [ __ ] ass? Where's his [ __ ] ass? Greymane, are dead. Where's he at? Since white crow is no longer in her net. Where's he at?…

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