So I tried Slay The Spire 2..

I saw this game was popular and so I figured I'd play it and find out why it's popular. Yeah. Yeah. I've never I've never played the first game. I've like as you guys could see I I they had like a combo thing and so I was like ah I guess I might as well buy the first one too. I've never played this. I don't know what to expect. Uh, it's definitely not my genre of game, but I'm going to go into it and we're gonna see how it is. All right. I don't know anything about this. I already have 60 hours in the game. It's nuts. Okay. All right. Let's try it out. Let's see what this [ __ ] going to be. Uhoh. It's not full screen. Oh, there it is. Okay, we're good now. Okay. Mega crit. Oh, that was in Mega Bong where it did even more damage. What's early access? It means that the game's going to be [ __ ] up and you can't complain about it. Okay, so screen shake sound. I'm going to turn it up a little bit. I think 75 seems good. Let's actually take it to 80 and I can just I'll take it up to to 90 and I can turn it down based off of that. Okay. Uh yeah, all this seems to be like I I'll learn this as I play. Okay, full screen. Sure, that should be fine, right? Okay. Yeah, it's no issue. Uh FPS limit infinity 200 and infinity. Well, I'll just do it at 165. That's what I have. MASS, I don't know what that is, so I'm going to ignore it. VSYNC, who gives a [ __ ] Fast mode. Well, let me just play the game at slow mode first and then I can move it up to fast when I feel like I'm ready. Um, okay. So, always show the timer. I I want to have that on just so I I actually I'll change it whenever I feel like it. Okay. Um, all that seems good. All right. Let's get it. Oh, let's get it. Single player. All right. The ironclad. Okay. Okay, I only have one guy. The last soldier of the ironclads crushes his foes with a sword and flame against his will. At the end of combat, heal 6 HP. Okay, so this is like your typical John slay the spire. Okay, looks like it's your first time playing it. Do you want a brief tutorial? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay. Overgrowth. Oh, that's pretty big. Wow. Uh, select a room to travel. Okay. So, right. I guess I'm going to go to um I want to I mean like this is there's like three monies here, right? So, like I I mean I I don't really know. I'm going to go to here. I'm going to go here. Oh, I have to do this. Okay. All right. So, this is what is this? Like a dog. So, I have to kill this dog. Defeat uh enemies by playing cards from your hand. Cards require energy to play once you're out in your turn. Once at the start of your turn, new cards are drawn and your energy is replenished. Okay, so it's like magic. All right, play defensive cards to gain block when enemies are about to attack you. Block reduces incoming attack damage but wears off sort of next turn. During your turn, you can observe an enemy's intent above them. If an enem is intent on attacking you, be sure to block. Okay. So, so if he's 12 damage, then logically I could do double defend and then Okay. So, let me actually move this. Where can I move this? I guess I could put it like right there. Yeah, that that seems good. Okay. Um, so I could do double defend and and then I do cuz I don't want to have all defend. And then I'm going to do vulnerability. You can't play the Oh, that's right. Cuz it's two mana, right? Okay. I'll do strike and then I'm going to strike then the thing. Okay, there it is. All right, so now he does two damage. Okay. All right, understood. Now I understand how it works. Okay, so now he's only going to do one attack. So I'm going to use this and I use two more of these, right? I double strike. Okay. And then Okay. Uh player turn. There's no cards to draw. Your discard pile, right, is shuffled into your draw pile. Okay. Okay. Okay. So then it's all right. I got it. So now he has he doesn't he's going to buff. So I don't want him to buff. I'm going to strike and I'm going to strike and I'm going to strike. Okay. And then I can maybe kill him in the next turn. 14 damage. Eat a dick. Oh, get out of my life. Okay, add a card to your deck. Okay. Um, I guess I'm just going to add a card and then deal seven damage, gain two strength, lose two HP, gain 16 block, two vulnerable. Um, I think I'm going to do number one. I think number one is best, right? Like, wait, you get both? Oh, okay. I I'm going to get number one. Okay, don't forget your rewards. Oh, I have to click on it. Oh. Ooh, I got big money now. Okay. So, I'm going to go to here. Okay. All right. So, we have three [ __ ] with how much incoming damage? Okay. So, we're going to do All right. I I know what to do. All right. So, we're going to one and then two and then this cuz I feel like I want to two status cards. What the hell? Oh, no. Oh, big damage on me. Okay. Um, let me think. I'm going to do one block for sure. I'm going I'm going to take two hits. I take three damage. Okay, ending turn. All right, good. And then I get my other ones back. [ __ ] Exhaust. What does exhaust mean? Like I I Does that It probably means my mana goes down, right? Read it. Oh, removed until end of turn. I don't No, I don't want to. I I I don't know how it works. Okay. I'm a professional [ __ ] Okay. I can't do anything about this. it deletes the card. Okay, well I don't want to do that. Okay, so Okay, so I can All right, so we have Okay, so what if I do I know what I do? I'm going to bash him. Now he has double vulnerable and I'm going to block. Now I have this and so I only take three damage. And then if I take three damage then I'm going to heal my health back from where I was at. So I'm going to still be at full health, right? And so now he has this. And so I'm going to double dick him. And now he's dead. And now I get backed up to full health. There it is. That's math, [ __ ] Okay. Two strength power buffs. Okay. Um Oh, wow. That's really good then pile. Okay. Lose one HP. Deal nine damage to all in. That's really good. That's big dick. That's huge. Oh man. I really feel like you can skip though. I feel like in Yeah. Like I mean I I don't know, man. Okay. I'm just going to I'm going to take the safe bet. I'm going to take the safe bet right now and we're going to move on. All right, I'm going to go to here. Okay, so now I have a cockroach. Okay, setup strike. What is this here? Intends to debuff me. He's going to debuff me. Well, I'm going to [ __ ] him up. Okay. Oh, he made me smaller. Okay. Can I kill him? I don't think I can kill him. I think I'm going to take seven damage, man. Like, this is 444. That's 12. I'm going to hit him with bash. And I'm going to hit him with one strike. dick. Okay, now he's double dead. Okay, that was not good. I I lost one health. Okay. Oh, I got a po Oh, I can get a potion. Oh, that's cool. Okay, so deal if the exhaust the top card 17 damage is crazy. Gain five block, deal five damage. Dude, this is such a hard decision. I think this one's better because it synergizes better with my stats. I'm going to go with this. Like I I don't want people to play for me. I'm going to play for myself. Okay, so now I want to go. Okay, so I'm not sure how I need to go up here. Let me try to go I'm going to go to the question mark. Let's see what happens if I go to the question mark. There's an egg. Gain seven egg unplayable. Can be hatched at a rest site. Okay. Well, can I look at my map again? What's a rest site? Well, that's a rest site. [ __ ] dude. I'm going to do this. Big dick egg. Big dick egg. Let's go. Cuz I mean I the That's what it's got to be, right? Okay. Oh, that's a Oh, he's going to double. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm going to block. Oh, that's [ __ ] up. He still won't die. [ __ ] This is This is bad. This is really bad. Wait, wait. What's this? I don't know what I should do. I really don't. Like, I think I'm going to defend. I I don't know what the right decision was. Took a lot of damage there. That's crazy. Crazy levels of damage. Okay, see that's why I got it. That's exactly the reason I wanted to use that. Jesus, that guy got destroyed. 10 damage. Wait, what? Oh my god, that's a lot of damage. Deal 10 damage. That'll kill him. Okay. All right. That's not It's It's not great. It was not great. Okay, let's be honest. It definitely wasn't. But we did what we needed to do. Oh, that's crazy good. Holy [ __ ] I think we go with this. Need block cards. Stomp's insane. Yeah, I'm going to go with that. Okay. And now, now can I rest? Okay. Egg time. Egg time. Rest sight. You can stop. Take a breather. Okay. Rest. I don't care about that. Smith hatch. Bird. Bird. Bird. Big dick bird. Big dick bird. Look at that bird. Zero. And I can still use it. That is crazy. Okay, let's go here. Heal 9 HP. Enchant card was sown. The first time you play this card, each combat gain. Is that mana? Is that the icon for mana right there? Yes. Okay. So, if there are multiple instances of the same card, does it enchant that specific instance of the card or does that is it enchant every instance of that card being used in totality? just that one instance. Okay. I kind of want to I kind of want to heal. I think that I think that healing is the right decision, but I don't know what an upgrade is either. So, I Let's learn. Let's learn. Oh, I get to decide. Okay. Um I think we I think we just we upgrade bird mode, right? I feel like bird mode because we're never not going to use bird mode. Oh, view upgrades. Stomp plus. Bash is actually very strong. I feel like we might want to upgrade Bash because Bash could be very useful for the boss, right? Because like it's three vulnerable. It's a multiplier bird first. Okay. All right. You want the bird? You want the bird? [ __ ] you. I'm going to do this. I think this is the right decision. I do. I think it's the right decision. Like maybe I'm wrong. Maybe maybe I am a [ __ ] Okay. So, do I want to use the smith or not? I mean like I'm only nine health down. Let's upgrade again. Okay. So, can I double upgrade this? Oh. Oh, now I can upgrade. Okay, so now we're going to upgrade the bird and we're going to upgrade the Oh, dude, look at that. That's crazy. Okay, so an elite. I don't think that I'm really ready for an elite, guys. Like, I I I think this is I shouldn't do the elite, right? I mean, like, do I have a big enough dick to beat the elite? Okay, apparently you guys think I do. Oh [ __ ] Oh no. Oh my god. Okay. Oh my god. I don't know what to do. I could do strike, strike, stomp, but maybe he might summon birds. Potion. I'm not ready for that yet. Block his ass. But I'll only block the I'm going to do what I think I should do. I'm going to do what I think I should do. Hit me. Hit me. See what happens. Jesus Christ, it's so much damage. Okay. Okay. Okay. Defend. Defend. Oh, I read the wrong one. Oops. Inflame. Mega bird. Oh. Oh, let's go. Okay, I'm at 48 health. Is he vulnerable? No, he's not. Wait, can I kill him? I think I end this fight right now. I think I'm actually a god. I I I do. I think I'm a god. I I I this I might be I might be the best player in this game. This might be me. It might be my game. This could be my I think this is my game, guys. Uh, relics found throughout the spire grant unique bonuses. This can be found in a treasure room. Random events. Okay. So, start combat with one strength. Okay. Oh, I see. They're Oh, I I get it. I understand. Okay. Uh, [ __ ] potion and 32 damage. Wow. Wow. This is really hard. Like two is OP. You You really think two is OP? You know what? You You're so right. You're so right. And now Oh, we have to go treasure. What's in the box? Gornet. Gorget. Gain one plating. Gain four plating. At the end of your turn, gain one block. Plating is reduced by one at the start of your turn. Start of at the wait, let me understand this. Okay, so at the start at the end of your turn, gain block. Okay, plating is reduced by one at the start of your turn. You know what? [ __ ] reading. [ __ ] reading. I just Let me just play the game and I'll figure it out as I do it. Is it Oh, it's just a 3 2 1. Oh, really? Well, like at the Oh, so combat. Okay. So, it's not like Magic the Gathering where like combat occurs every turn. Combat occurs at the beginning of the of the encounter period. Is that is that the way it works? Understood. Okay. So, this is a dog. All right. We have to really pay attention here. Okay. So, I'm going to p and then I'm going to block. I think I have to play defensively. I want to play defensively more cuz now we're going to big dick him. Oh, I forgot about my shield. Okay, I'm stupid. Okay. So, inflame me bird. It's mega bird time. Wait, I can use all three. Oh my god. Okay. Oh, he's going to hit for 14. That's a lot. Okay. So, 14. So, it should be I should take like what? Four damage. Six. Okay. A damath. Okay. Can I kill him with this? Yes. Get out of my life. Get Dude, I So I I'm like I'm I'm health neutral right now. I'm health neutral. Like I didn't lose any health from fighting him. Okay, so add a card. All right, so seven seven damage. I don't really care about that. Play an attack this turn. Gain three block. That is insanely [ __ ] good. I'm probably going to get that one damage. Apply vulnerable. Oh my god, it's really good, too. Thunderclap. Like I feel like Yeah, it's a zero cost. I I think is honestly like I mean like listen, you want to know my one of my favorite [ __ ] units in in in Magic Gathering was Ornithopter. Ornithopter the 02 without flying and then you put cranial plating on that pitch and then it does more damage and then you have artifact lands. Oh my god, that [ __ ] went crazy. Oh. Oh, okay. So now I have I have all these potions. So I am maxed out now on potions, right? So now I have to use a potion. Okay, let me think right now. Intends to block. He's going to debuff me. Do I hit him? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have to throw. Okay. It only hits one of them. All right. So, I'm thinking. I'm thinking. Okay. Oh, they're dead. They're dead. They're dead. They're dead. It's over. Okay, that's not that's not awful. I I I would down one health, right? Okay, so Okay, so exhaust one card at random. Weak. What's weak do? Oh, that's crazy good. Uh, draw three cards. You cannot draw that. I I I'm a big fan of zero clusters. I'm a huge fan. Okay. And now let's go to here. I'm feeling like right now I think I need to Okay, let me check the map. So Oh, I I'll have You know what? I'm going to heal right now cuz there's two more enemies. I think I heal. Let's heal right now. So yeah, like we're balling now. Okay. Now, do I have a big enough dick? Oh, damn. Hit it. okay. Only hit only took one damage. You see, just now I'm thinking. I'm thinking I'm thinking. I think I have to I have to I have to beat his dick off. I have to be the stick off. There's nothing else I have to do more than that. Okay. And then I bird mode. I bird mode on him. Okay. He's dead. And I'm going to strike him. Okay. This should be good. Now he's going to he's going to he's going to debuff me. It won't matter. See, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm going to he's dead now. He's 100% dead now. He's 100% dead now. He's 200% dead now. Watch. Eight damage strike dead. [ __ ] easiest game of my life. Literally easiest game I've ever [ __ ] done. Okay, so now I get mana and lose three HP. Wow. I okay. So, like logically because I have a mana increase. Oh man. Like I just I think number one is better. I feel like number one is just it's a stronger buff. Like I'm Ascension 4. Listen to me. What do you mean you're Ascension [ __ ] four? Does that Do you think I f I started playing this game like 25 minutes ago? I have no [ __ ] idea what that even is. Okay, we're going to go with Whirlwind. We are We're going to go with Whirlwind. I don't think it's the right decision, but it's the safe decision. Now, I don't know what this boss is going to be. I'm going to play it like a little [ __ ] [ __ ] and I'm just going to fight the normal mob. I am. I don't know what it's going to actually. [ __ ] that. Upon dying, summon something. Okay, let's do it. Okay, I'm going to battle trance. Draw three cards. Okay, attack this turn. Oh, this is huge. Eight strength. And then I'm a whirlwind. Do it. See what happens. What the [ __ ] That's a lot of damage he's going to do. That's a lot of damage. block potion. Brilliant. Brilliant. I'm doing I'm doing I'm doing me. I'm doing me. Trust me. I I know what I'm doing. I have no idea I'm I have no idea what I'm doing. Okay. The rigor. The rigor. The rigor. The rigor. Or the rigor. I think I'm going to kill this one right here. He has the highest health. Oh, I have more health. Okay. All right. Now we got to focus. Okay. Now we can double bird. Okay. Um I think this actually could be it. This could be the end. This could be the end of them. I'm going to rage. I'm going to whirlwind. And then I'm going to bird mode. Damn. Damn. I really am that guy. That's crazy. Oh my [ __ ] god. This game is so good. Yeah, it is. It's insanely [ __ ] good. Oh my [ __ ] god. God gamer, you're goddamn right. Let me see this. Okay. Uh, six damage. Draw cards until you draw a non-attack card. What is this? 12 block. Attack this turn. Deal four damage. What do you guys think? I don't know. What do we think, gentlemen? It's three. Three is OP. Okay. Gain 12 block when you're Oh, that's insane. What the [ __ ] Yeah, let's get that. Okay, we got the fan. Every time you play three attacks in a single turn, gain four block. Okay. All right, let's go. Next turn. Oh [ __ ] Okay, we're up at the first boss already. Okay, so what's the upgrade here that we can get? Oh, that's [ __ ] ins, Dude. That's [ __ ] insane, dude. Dude. Dude, what the [ __ ] dude? Okay, that's all right. Here it is. Let's go. Okay, let's do it. Right. I lose one HP instead. Okay. I'm going to battle trance. I'm going to [ __ ] I really don't know. I think I should use I should use Py for sure, right? And then I should use strike in order to break that, right? Obviously use a potion. I mean, I could I could wait. Oh, he has eight debuffs on it. Oh, [ __ ] I didn't even realize that, I think I use energy potion and I stomp and inflame. I'm going to do it. I don't know what to do. I'm going to do it. Easy, easy, easy. Too easy. It's too easy for me. So, logically, I should whirlwind, Like, I just want I Does it work the way I think it does? Okay. Yes. Okay. So, five boat. Oh my god, that's good. Holy [ __ ] that's big. Wait, I I actually I'm I'm already winning. Okay, I took four damage. All right, it's over. This is it. he's going to do 27 damage. That's a lot of damage. We bash. Obviously, I'm gonna use this. I'm going to do what I think makes sense and I'm going to hit him one time and I'm going to double defend and I'm going to hope that the cards that I pull up besides that will do more than nine damage. It's not a big deal. It's like 20 damage. I can survive that. What? That won't be useful. I have to whirlwind. Yeah. Damage. Should I use the strength potion right now? I feel like we should pot, right? Like I I think that we should we do that. I think we should do that, right? Let us smite our foes. Jesus, that was a lot. Because that was also vulnerable, too. Okay. Hopefully he doesn't put that shield up again, does he? Oh, that's nothing. Okay, it's nothing. It's not a big deal. Okay. All right. Rage. Wait, did I not use the shield? I did, Oh, no. I can't. So, I I I can't use another That's it. I I Okay, so that that's it. You give it to him. No, I didn't give it to him. Okay, it takes a slot. Okay. I I didn't know like if I run out of cards if I could just like get another turn or something. Okay, he did it right. Okay. Ooh, hoes mad. I think it this is it. It's over. It's over for Mr. Dick sucker here. It's over. Your time is through. Oh, epoch discovered. I'm going to add a car at the start of your turn. Gain two strength. Uh, deal damage four times. Transform all attacks into in your hand into giant rock. I think giant rock seems really good. So, y'all think it don't y'all think it? You You guys think You guys think demon mode? What do y'all think? You have the mana for two? I do. I do have the mana for it. It It's just like It's just I don't know if I can survive that long, right? because like that's that's something that it's very slow. Like I feel like that's a long that's like a very very longterm that's a long-term situation. I I'm going to do it. I'm going to I'll do it. Like why not? Like let's assume I'm going to just beat the entire game. Act two, the hive. Oh [ __ ] Okay. All right. Let me try. Okay. So let's see. Where are we going to go here? Uh let's go this way. Let's go up through here. I think this is the good idea. Let me go to here. A puppet has arrived. Can you check on father? I'm too tired. If you end your turn with unspent mana, gain an additional two mana next turn. Card rewards to pale. Obtain a relic. What is a relic? An additional card would probably be good. I mean like I feel like three is the best. Like, like I I think it's the best. I I don't know what relics are, so I I mean, like, you you probably are right. He wants to [ __ ] me up for 15 damage. All right, let me let me do this. Obviously, I'm going to do this. I should have used flame barrier. Well, maybe I couldn't have actually. Should I block? I don't know. Like, maybe I defend. I feel like I should read his ability. What does his ability say? Oh yeah, I might be able to fully block that. See if I can Okay. All right. Let me think. So 13 damage. Okay. Let me think. Can I kill this guy? Cuz I could whirlwind six damage to all enemies. So 6* 5 is 30. This would not kill him. whirlwind and stomp, but that'll only reduce it one time because I'll only Okay, I'm going to do something that might be stupid, but I'm just going to do it anyway. All right, I don't know what the [ __ ] I'm doing. I'm going to see if this is going to work. I'm actually a god. I'm actually a [ __ ] god. Holy [ __ ] I'm so good. I'm actually so good. I've never been more Okay, you're dead. You're dead. You're dead. You little fat piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] you. Get out of my life. Damage. Okay. Deal damage uh twice. Six damage twice. Three strength. Gain two strength this turn. This one seems the best. This one seems the best. Like I'm feeling like three. I'm feeling like three, guys. What do you think about three? Three is insane. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. All right. next. Ooh, look at this tunneler. I mean, it's only going to be one, right? So, gain 12 block. I think I'm I'm a barrier. I'm a barrier. Actually [ __ ] bro. I really don't know. Like, I just I don't know if barrier is the right option. It's only going to do four damage. Like, I feel like Let me just let me just do like I I think I'm making a mistake right now, by the way. I think I am making a mistake. Yeah, it did five. Okay, that's fine. Okay, let's get this. Oh, this is massive. This is mega dick. Okay, I I I don't think it's useful right now. He's going to block. Okay. Wait, I saw I could draw two cards. I forgot about the other one. I didn't know that has to work. Mistakes happen, right? Mistakes happen. Like I I'm newer to the game. It is what it is. I think I need to double defend. I think I have to double defend cuz I can't I can't do anything to hit him, right? Burrowed. So if he's burrowed, but I can't [ __ ] do anything. P. You can stun him. Really? Stupid [ __ ] Stupid [ __ ] That's right. Um. Oh, yeah. He's dead. You're dead. You're dismantled. Oh, I didn't know that's how it worked. Okay. Add a card to your deck. Okay. So, five damage, five block. Okay. I feel like that's really good. Y'all say skip. I I don't think I should skip. I think I should pick this up. Like the second one's upgraded. Yeah, but it sucks. I mean, I guess I could go with it. You don't need more cards, I guess. Too many cards is bad. Okay. Okay. So, so like can I change cards out like sell cards and then replace them? Like right now like if I do deck yes in a shop. Okay. I I I don't even know where a shop is. All right. I'm not going to make that decision then. I'm not going to make it. Like I don't know. You can remove them from the merchant. Okay. the money sign, the money bags on the map. Okay. Oh man. Like this is it is a good item, right? Definitely. But like I just I don't really see like because I have like debuffs and [ __ ] So like if I'm trying to apply debuffs, I don't see a world where that is a big I'm just going to skip. I'm going to skip. Okay. Yeah, there's no [ __ ] merchant anywhere here. Okay. There's a merchant all the way up there, right? Let me go to the next one. Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Okay. Okay. I'm going use this. I'm going get inflame. Okay. Summon him. See what happens. I'm a whirlwind right now. Now I whirlwind. Now I whirlwind. Oh my god. I actually got it. I actually got it. Oh my god. I actually got that. Oh. Okay. Okay. I hit this. I hit this. I kind of want to use bash and then whirlwind like cuz that's the longterm action right and now I whirlwind big dick. Oh my god. I'm I think I might be too good at this game. I might be too good. Draw three cards. 12 block. When you're attacked this turn, he's going to hit for seven. So, I should do this so that way it doesn't hit me. And if it doesn't hit me, I might not even apply the debuff. Okay, I'm I'm going to hit it. I'm going to hit it with the barrier. Okay. And then I'm going to setup strike. Oh, and then I'm going to double strike. Oh, another one. Now, since he has Oh, it's over. That bird is just saving my life. exhausted. Gain three block, seven damage, gain five block. I feel like number two, two two three is crazy, right? Three is like super good Y'all really say skip on this? Like that's crazy. Like I I'm actually really surprised. Uh I'm Let me think for myself a bit. No, I think this is the right decision. I'm going to make it. Okay. So, I think let's go to here. I could do. You know what? What if I get another egg? What? I What? I I I double egg. You don't exhaust. Oh, I thought an exhausted card is one that I've used. Oh, man. Okay. I didn't know that. Okay. All right, let me think. I don't know the right decision right now. I'm going to do what I think I need to do, which probably isn't what I Well, I [ __ ] up. I should have done two blocks. I think I'm dead. I think I'm actually dead. This might be the end. This might be it, gentlemen. Oh my god. Okay. All right. I'm just trying to think what to do. I'm going to I'm going to deburird him. Wait, wait, wait. It does two. It hits him twice, right? So, if it's 11 damage, that means he's going to take Can I dismantle this guy and kill him? No, he's at two health. That's fine. Doesn't matter. It is what it is. I'm thinking I'm thinking as much as I can, which isn't very much. That's the problem. Strike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This got really hard really fast. Okay. All right. Walk. Walk. You can't do [ __ ] Three. Got him. All right. All right. This is it. This is me. This is me. He's doing an 18. I think this is the correct play. Christ. Yes. Yes. This worked. It worked. It worked. Okay. Can't do anything. Oh, [ __ ] Get out of my life. Oh, now we're going to big dick burn him. Oh, we're big dick burning on him. Oh, get out of here. Get out of my life. There it is. Triple damage. My three vulnerable. Okay, that's crazy. We're going with that. Okay, next. God damn, bro. like god damn stat two status cards. Okay. All right. All right. Let me think. Okay. So, how how are we going to handle this? All right. Okay. Three cards. Let's do three cards. Three cards right now. Okay. Um now, we're going to think about an iron wave. Uh we're going to hit this guy right here. We're going to get this guy. We're going to get him again. And I'm going to get him one more again. I'm going to get him one more again. And now we stomp. I think I might have been too offensive, but that's okay. Oh, that's actually so bad. That's actually so bad. Oh, [ __ ] Now I have these two. Oh, no. Okay. Um, gain three block. Okay. So, I obviously should use that. Jeez, this is so bad. This is actually so bad. Like I I just I really don't think this is I'm gonna take so much damage right now. Four damage. He's going to 13 dam. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, give me a minute. All right, we're going to stay focused. We're going to stay focused even now because we're going to win right now. right now, [ __ ] That's right. Holy [ __ ] that was close. God damn, that was close. I think I should get this, right? We're resting. This is no joke. It's no joke at all. Let's go. Oh, [ __ ] I got an elite coming up. Okay, give me a minute. All right, let me think. All right. All right. All right. F 5 5,000% thinking. Okay, so All right, fat. What's fat going to do? All right, so let's set up strike, do damage, and then bird, and then strike. Setup strike, damage, strike, mega bird. Okay, that was crazy. That was crazy Thorbs. So, if I have plating, that means I would only take two damage logically. So, I should big dick him as hard as I can right now. Logically, that's the way it would work. I just don't know if it's worth piring and doing this too. I can't draw cards. Doesn't matter. You're going to take 21 damage. I've heard of that. Yeah. Let me do block. I'm going to fire. I'm going to [ __ ] out. I'm pussying out. I'm pussying out big time. This such a huge mistake. I'm actually a piece of [ __ ] 16 block He's dead next turn. He's dead next turn. Wait, he's actually dead. He's dead right now. Oh my god. I'm actually too good. Three week. Okay, good. All right. And wow, that's really good. you guys really want me to skip? You know what? I logically I'm going to skip. I I Here's the reason why. Because I have a synergy that's created right now. You play a power each combat. Oh, okay. That's really good. Okay, I understand. That's like buffs. Okay. All right. Now we have the first boss. It's the mini boss. Oh, this is Dude, I I'm Oh, it's over. It's over for this long dick. It's over. It's over for the long dick. See See, I told you it's over. It's over. I really want to use Py, but like I feel like I'm going to take so much damage. I'm going to take so much damage. I think I have to do I I think I have to do this. I think I I'm going to do what I need to I'm going to do what I need to do. Okay. I'm going to do what I need to do, not what people want me to do. 100% focus right now. I don't know if it's worth it. So, I could use the potion and then use the stomp, but I don't think it's worth doing that. But se 7* 2 is a lot of I'm gonna do I'm going to do I'm going to do I'm going to do me. I'm going to do me. [ __ ] I don't know what to do. Let me think. I'm thinking five damage. That actually makes it easier for me. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. It's okay. We're going to survive. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. All right. We're going to get Uh, is this [ __ ] ridiculous? Is this what I think it is? Like, is is this is this as big of a dick as I think it is? It is. Okay. I thought so. All right. Oh my god. I got to fight. Oh no. a strateg. It's a strategic bowl or bug, whatever the [ __ ] barcotta. Do I do I barricade now? Do I barricade now? Like I don't think it's going to be Yeah, I don't think it's long enough, right? Okay, let me just do this. All right. I don't know if I'm making the right decision, but I have to do what I need to do. That's not even going to do anything. There's no reason to use it. Okay, I'm going to use this. All right, next turn. I'm going to take some damage here. It's not good. I'm going to take Okay. This is good. All right. Block. man. Uh, this is a very hard decision for me. I could try to kill him, but it's only five damage. I'm going to do what I can. All right. I'm kind of [ __ ] right now, I think. I've got big shields now. Big shields. All right. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. Big dick. Okay, this is it. That doesn't matter. I'm still going to kill them. I'm still going to kill them. [ __ ] These actually aren't very good points. Oh man, this is kind of bad. So It's time. Got him. Oh, man. All right. All right. All right. All right. We We did it. Cards exhaust the game four. I All right. All right. None of these are good. All right. All right. I'm going to go and just skip. We're going to get this. God damn, bro. Like, oh my god, that's a fat [ __ ] Oh my god. Okay. All right. Let's think this up. Gains 14 block upon first uh being hit. Okay. I actually don't know how this works. Y'all want me to demon flame? Okay, I'm going to do it. Now, can I just burn him? Okay, so now he's done, right? So now he can't do anything. I should just kill myself in real life. I'm just kidding, by the way. I'm just kidding. But like, god damn, bro. Like, I'm actually [ __ ] bro. I'm actually [ __ ] bro. Like, [ __ ] Jesus Christ, it's so bad. Wait. He's thinking about rolling me over, isn't he? He wants to roll me over. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. We're not going to do You're not figing to do that. Uh-uh. Nope. Not today. Stupid. Oh, what? Will he still hit me? Okay. Well, he's dead. He's obviously dead. I mean, he's obviously 100% dead. So, we're going to pop this Ray. I mean, there has there ever been something that's more dead of all times that there has been a dead. Uh, it it it's so over, bro. Like, he's actually just super dead. Like, it it look, he's destroyed. Speed potion. [ __ ] Okay. All right. All right. Do I want to get rid of any of these? Stampado. Stampede. The best. The near turn. One random attack. Okay. All right. fine. Like I I feel like that's and I have to replace one. I don't like weak. I mean, 10 damage to everything is like not really that good, but like I'm just going to skip. Okay, so like I'm at 45 health. I just I don't think that I can beat an elite. Like I just I I don't think that I can do it. Like do y'all think I can do it? I don't think I can do it. I don't think that my dick is big enough. Like, so the thing is that No, I I I'm going to [ __ ] out. I'm actually going to [ __ ] out, guys. I'm sorry. I I actually I just totally pussied out. I'm such a loser. I'm such a loser, Okay. All right. So, let's let's use this rage. Okay. So, we're going to do Man, I only have two attacks and whirlwind will use all of my mana. So, logically, I should use whirlwind right now. I'm not going to use the pot. I don't think I should use the potion I just don't think so. Oh. Oh. Oh. The Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Try to try to [ __ ] with the big dick bird. If you if you exhausted a card this turn. Oh. Oh, it's a dark ritual. I'm going to skip double stomp. It's a good idea. Dark Ritual gain three black man. I remember that. Yeah, with that [ __ ] with the the [ __ ] cauldron. Yeah, I had my [ __ ] [ __ ] friend play that every time. Three mana though. Double stomp would be crazy though, right? I mean, like I'm going to skip. I'm going to skip. Wongos, pay 100 gold. Get a common relic, pay 300 gold. I think I I I I buy one, right? Because like my I feel like right now we're in a situation. Okay, let's talk about this. Right. So, like 300 gold is crazy good, right? That's super good. But what is the probability that I beat this next boss? Don't tell me. I'm going to tell myself it's low low probability that I beat this next boss. And because of that, like I I five of combat, like five combats, right? And so like I need something that's going to get me over the hurdle to beat this boss. So I'm going to get the common relic right now. I think I need to get that, right? What does this do? That's good. Wong go's appreciation badge. Like that's my best guess. And now I need to rest. Now I'm full health for the boss. Like this is honestly like this is a very good situation for me to be in. It is like I'm going to see. Okay. Wow. And now it'll play bash. It'll play bash, right? Yes. Yes. Get swept away. What the [ __ ] is that? Oh, wait. Exhaust the car. I just exhausted. Get out of here. I got another one. Christmas. Nah, [ __ ] Super bird. Super bird. Let's go. I'm just thinking. I'm just thinking. 28. Wait, what the [ __ ] What do you mean 28? Mega bird 85. I just don't know. I don't know really. Hopefully it uses this one. Hopefully it uses flame barrier. All right. All right. Let me hit it. Please use iron wave. Please use iron wave. Please. Yes. This is my game. This is my game. I win. I don't think I can do demon form right now. I think it's just too risky. I have to do damage. I'm going to do what I think I have to do. hello. Oh, yes. I win. I win. I win. I win. I win. I'm actually a [ __ ] god. That's right. That's right. Get birded. Oh, yes. There it is. I'm the best. Who said I wasn't going to beat him? Who was it? Who was it? That's really good. Uh Y'all really think two's the best. It's a zero, though. Like, all right. All right. I'mma hit it. I'mma hit it. No. Y'all right. Y'all right. Damn, bro. We got act three. Act three already. This is a champion at work. Okay. Let me look where I'm at. I don't think I can fight any any bro. Like I Oh my god, this is scary. Okay, I'm going to do this one right now. So weak. But you have potential. Use this weapon. Each combat each each Okay. All right. All right. So each what you say combat like is combat um [ __ ] uh like is it like one? It's like it's the first once per fight. Okay, got it. Complete upgrade for Holy [ __ ] This is hard. Holy [ __ ] this is hard. Like I I'm gonna go with this. Three is insane, but I have to get to three. I have to get to three. That's the problem. Like I think three, like let's say this is my 735th playthrough. Three is obviously the correct decision. But here's the reason why this one could be better. It's because there are certain cards that allow me to do certain specific things. Like let's say I get py on on turn one. That's 2x mana. You see what I'm saying? Like that that's the reason why I have to go with it. Like I don't Okay, now we need to look at going to a shop. All right, let's go there. We're going to go to the shop. You see what I'm saying? I'm debating like whether it's worth doing this now or whether it's what worth doing flame barrier cuz like I I don't think demon form will manifest into its full power that early. Barrier. Yeah, let let's barrier. Let's play things safe, guys. Let's play things safe. Read them. Oh, wait. I should read. No cost. Just trying to think like I can do one strike. I'm a math magician. I have It's over. Let's go over. Got it. I win. I don't think it really matters what order I do it in. See that? That was That was actually crazy. Like I I That was probably Okay. Ah. Jeez, guys. What do y'all think? Oh, what do y'all think? You're right. We have a big dick deck already. Oh [ __ ] he's got a shield. Rampardo. Um, during the start of the a player's turn, turret operator gains 20 block. I see. I see how it works. Okay, I'm deciding whether I should offering I think this is going to be a long form py. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot. I forgot. Is it worth stampeding? Is it worth I I don't think demon form is what I don't think I should do. I think I'm going to win too fast for demon form to like really build up. Like personally, I I don't I don't think that's worth it. Like that's that's for like a boss. Okay, I want to use this. I want to see if I Sorry, I confusing myself. Okay. I don't know if this is the right decision or not, but I'm going to make it. Oh, let me use this so it doesn't accidentally use that. Okay, in turn one. Okay, good. That's fine. That's fine. This it is what it is. It is what it is. It's It's already over. It's over. I've already I've already won. I'm the champion. Can I kill him in one turn? Yes. Saving mana. M mana for the third game. No, I'm not. I I Okay. Uh, we have such a great We have such great moments, actually. How many cards can I sell? Like, this is obviously really good. How many cards can I sell? Actually, there's never a time that that's not good. I'm going with it. Okay. All right. We're going to go one. Okay. We're going to remove We're going to remove one. Slash. Proceed. Okay. Um. All right. So, where does it say sell? uh card removal service. Uh increase it by 25 or arrested around. Okay. All right. So, I'm going to click on this and I'm going to remove one strike. Do I remove a strike or do I remove a defend strike? You're right. You're right. Okay. So, let's look at these relics. Where do the relics be? Are these top ones relics here? These top ones are relics, right? I really don't know which one of these is big dick. I really don't know. I I don't think any of these are like super good. One and two. Like I mean I think this is really good longterm, but let me just Yeah, I'm going to like the marbles. I mean, I don't think I go with bag of marbles. And let me explain the reason why. It's because I'm built right now for like like I I I have to set up, right? And so because I have to set up, I'm built for like popping off towards the very end. The attack potion. I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm going to just I I I have it, right? It's better to have it than not have it. Three is ass. No, it's not ass for me because I can actually clear out my entire What the [ __ ] is this galvanic [ __ ] does? I guess we'll find out. Oh. Oh, I see. Okay. I'm wondering if demon form is the right play right now. Double stampede. Nice. Okay, that's actually insane. [ __ ] [ __ ] vulnerable. It's actually huge. Do you guys think I should No, no, no. I I That's a lot of damage. Should I use a block potion? But I have a debuff. Okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to drink it. Oh, okay. It doesn't It doesn't apply on that. Okay, good. Okay, ending turn. Nice. That's Oh, I forgot. I forgot those. God, I totally forgot about that. Okay, good. It's over. It's over for him. I'm going to end his whole career. I'm just debating how to do it. I might have to flame barrier and then I'm think I think I'm overthinking this. I feel like I'm overthinking this. Okay, so I can't draw, right? Yeah, I think so, Got him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Stop. I didn't realize it was doing that much damage. Okay, I got a potion. That's really good. But I I just I feel like right now we're already in such a good position. I'm not going to go with those right now. Like maybe that was the wrong decision, but I I think that's what I had to do. Yeah, I wasn't I just wasn't feeling it. Is going to give you 10. Wait, what? 10 status cards. I could get double strength. I think we Yeah, let's let's get double strength and let's get iron wave and then we're going to get one strike. Higher battle trance rage set of strike. I'm debating if I should block or not. No, because I already got the I got this. So, now I have shield. This will do some damage, but that's just the way it is. Okay, I think he should die here. Wait. Damn, he's got a lot of health. On me. Okay. Damn. I feel like I don't need any of these. Offering for what? What am I going to offering for? I guess I could get more cards. Yeah, [ __ ] it. No, you're right. You're right. I could get more cards. Oh, I forgot I didn't have no draw. [ __ ] I'm actually [ __ ] That's the way it goes. I I made a mistake. Just mistakes happen, right? Oh, we're not having a good one Today we're not having a good one at all. Okay, he should still die here, right? Okay. All I need is one. All I need is one. I just need one. It's over. It's over, [ __ ] It's over. You're done. I took a lot of damage there. I did. But that's fine. Is this good? Like I feel like it's not as good as as it as it's shiny. Exhaust your hand. Draw a card for each card exhausted. It's good with feel no pain. It is, but I don't think it's like I I I feel like it's just it's it's too circumstantial. I'm going to replace this. I'm I'm going to make the decision I think I should make. I'mma rest. My health is too low. Okay. What's in the box? Two. Um All right. So, I think we're going to go to the shop. What do y'all think? Okay. I could get another dismantle. Let me get rid of a card. I'm going to get rid of my other strike. It's like the only thing I can do. I might just corrupt it. My biggest attack. I feel like we big dick bird, right? cuz like world like bird. Okay, let's just bird. Let's bird mode. Oh, wow. let me let me just look before. Let me look. Yeah, this one's better. Just realistically, it's better. Oh [ __ ] He's He's going to bring in the hose. He's going to summon the hose. Oh my god. Um I guess I can whirlwind. I mean, that's all I can do, right? I mean, it's literally all I can do. So, I might as well just do that. I mean, I don't know what else I can do. Energy pot. You're right about that. Wait, but why use your potions? I feel like I don't like Let me just see what happens. Like, cuz he's going to summon the guys. I'm going to kill him, right? This is hard against two strength. I think I just I think I just big dick. I'm I'm going to do what I can. Oh, I did the no draw thing again. I made the same mistake. Just what happens, right? I mean, I'm not I'm not I'm not used to the game. It's just a stupid mistake again. It's just what happens, right? I mean, like, I feel [ __ ] [ __ ] but that's the way it is. Oh, I forgot I even had that. Okay. Okay. Can I get rid of every single card here? No. What the [ __ ] do I do now? That's dead. He's dead. I think I need this. I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best. [ __ ] ass. Let's going to summon again. All right. Now, I I I'm trying to be 100% focused right now. Do it. See what happens. Do it. See what happen. Bring Bring him. Bring him back out. See what happens. Y'all ready? Oh, you guys ready? Y'all ready to see this? Look at that. All right. So, I think that I don't honestly I think we just go for this boss. I think we got to go for this boss, bro. Like, an uncommon potion. It's garbage. I'm going to proceed. That's fine. It's not good, but it's fine. Shop again. Where are we? Where are we? Okay. All right. Um I can't I don't have the money. Oh, bro. I could have got that potion. I could have thrown at the [ __ ] at the God [ __ ] damn it. Draw three cards. I think that I'm going to replace this I I'm just I'm feeling good about that. I am. I'm feeling good. Let's see what I do here. I could improve my stomp. It's just Oh, it's cheaper. five cards. I just I wanted to see what the options were. Yeah, we're going to heal. We're going to heal. The big dick bird. It's the necromancer. So, if block is is double not removed, if it's double not removed, does that mean anything? Probably not, right? Yeah. Y'all think it's not okay. No. Okay. I'm just going to I'm going to just do what I think I should do. I don't know what the [ __ ] to do. I can whirlwind right now. I'm I'm I'mma play the long game. I'm going to play the long game. Wait, what does that say? What does that say? I think I need to kill her first. Come on. Chains of what? That's fine. That's fine. I don't care about that. What do you think? What? What? Uh, what the what the [ __ ] Okay. All right. All right. We got to be 100% focused. Jesus Christ, this is so bad. I'm going to do my best. I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. It's not too good, but I'm doing my best. Oh my god. Oh my god. Why did she put that shield up again? You got to kill the minion. [ __ ] I should have read chat. I should have just read chat. I All right. All right. That's fine. Okay, I'm going to do it. All right. All right. No. No. I'm I'm all right. All right. I I I got to focus 100%. Nice. Oh god. Oh my god, this is Three. Three. I'm at three. I'm at three right now. I'm at three. I'm at three. It's not over. How do I kill him? I All right, I'm going to do this for sure. I'm debating whether whirlwind is the right decision or not. I think I bash her and then I whirlwind. Can't do nothing, [ __ ] Can't do anything. Just a minute. Let me focus. Can I Can I get any more cards? No, I can't. I I only have two health left. I can't do it. There is a Wait, does that mean there's a 25% chance that I'm dead right now? Don't you use bird? I had to do that. I had No. No. I had to do that. What? Wait, what the [ __ ] was that? I didn't read it. I didn't read. I didn't read. I actually threw. I actually threw. Like if if I if I had not fought. No, I threw because like if if I had known at the beginning cuz like I thought this looked like a [ __ ] necromancer. So I'm like, "Okay, I guess it doesn't have that much health. So what I probably should do is I should just go and kill uh her and then maybe the minion will die." Right? That was the logic. And then I saw it was doing 36 damage and I'm like what the [ __ ] So that was the logic that I was thinking. And so I could have won if I wasn't thinking that way. I could have focused on the guy. I could have done the sh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] the No, no, no. Here's the reason why I didn't use the free potion. Okay, so basically there were four attack cards in my hand. Four attack cards. So, I had stampede that would force an attack card to be played. I had two health, but one of my attack cards caused me to lose two health. So, if that attack card was played, then it would cause me to lose the two health that would force me into losing the game. So, I thought that I wouldn't use any attack cards and that would create the highest probability chance that it it No, it's free. No, no, no. I don't know if free was a mana cost or free was a B. Do do you understand what I was saying? Do you understand what I'm saying? So the bird, if I had used the bird. No, no, no, no. The bird, it gives you another card. It adds a card. Oh, I didn't read it. Yep. So, I basically just did everything wrong. I just did I I just did everything So, I actually like I could have I could have actually beaten this if you know what I I had to take a piss. That's the reason why I messed up. Oh my I'm actually so mad because like the thing is the reason why I'm mad is because like I I could have but I didn't. That's the reason why I'm mad. Like if I knew I was going to lose, I would feel fine. Queen added a piece of the ironclad to her collection. Epoch unlocked. Like I I the reason why I'm upset is because I I think that I could have beaten her if everything in the situation in the timeline reveal epox to unlock cards. Okay. What's this? Meow. Mother of resurrection, rise, champion, again and again. Non will grant you a start each run. Beat act one with the ironclad. Wait, I I thought I did that. Yeah, true. Damn. Damn. Damn. Wait, so these cards are just better? What the [ __ ] What the relics 50% three additional strength. Okay. Um Okay. So that's like that's like additive probably too, right? Peon Magnumopesian. Along this journey lay a planet named Peon. A mere speck in the universe. They say that's a great story about a spire that place took there. Cards you gain. What? This is like gray mana. That's big dick. One epoch is waiting to be revealed. Now the spire's reopening made its way to the silent. Who's this? That's that [ __ ] from the from the box, right? That's her. Silent as a playable character. God damn. What a game. I'm going to take a break. I I got I got to get some [ __ ] dinner, man. What a [ __ ] game. Wow. What a game. What a good game. What a great game. Wow. I'm really impressed. I I'm I'm really impressed by this game. What a what a I I can see why there's a lot of people that played it. I might play more of this tomorrow. That's in one run. That was one run. I can't believe I played a gay ass turnbased card game and had fun. Like I I don't even know what to say. I really I now I know I'm 35 years old. Let me just say that. Damn, bro. Like y'all believe that? Play. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're going to play more raw. [ __ ] It It's a really great game. Like I I Wow. Like I I'm really impressed. Like I This is a tremendous game. Tremendous game. Wow. What a game. Not into card games. I enjoyed the gameplay. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Damn, bro. Like that was fun. What's your rating? It's a great game. Like uh my my my first time experience playing this game like I I'd say it's at least a nine minimum. Nine minimum. more to come. Yeah, it really gets the brain working. Yeah. Anyway, boys, uh I'm going to call the day. Thank you all very much for watching. I appreciate it. I'll be back on tomorrow, same time in the morning and afternoon. And uh we'll get back to it. So, until next time, gentlemen. Peace. See you.