If Squid Game were about Programmers

Are you failing all your interviews? If so, this is the game [music] for you. Click the Zoom link if you wish to participate in the game. [music] [bell] Oh, I heard something. Where is it coming from? Sir, you are on a Zoom call. Um, try holding alt and then press tab. Yeah, you you probably have your Zoom window minimized. Oh, hello. Thank you, G. Yeah, whatever, man. Wait, Eric, aren't you like the CEO of Blinder? What are you doing here? I literally saw you on Force 30 under 30. Aren't you like really rich? Let's talk later. Welcome to the game. Due to COVID 25 restrictions and budgetary issues, we couldn't bring you on site. So, for the 2025 game, it will be held remotely. Please open the package we delivered. It contains the uniform you will be wearing. Oh [ __ ] Free swag. It's not company swag. It's going to be a Patagonia vest. I know it. No, it's not. Everyone here will participate in six different games. Those who win all six games will receive a job. Oh, that's it. a stable 9-to-five job and 45 million shares of stock options you can purchase which you can only exercise after 4 years. Passive income. No, I want 50 million. I don't think you have the luxury to counter offer right now. Mr. Wang, I just got a competing offer from another Squid Game and they're offering 48 million and 21 vacation days. And no offense, it will look better on my resume if I went with them. Okay, 50 million. Before we start this game, we want to present the sponsor of this year's game, who will be sponsoring the winner's prize again because of budgetary issues this year. The sponsor is NordVPN. Hell yeah, baby. I love NordVPN. Now, back to the game. Today you will be playing the first game. [music] The first game to be played is called FizzBuzz. You will be writing the program FSBuzz in assembly. Oh [ __ ] We have assigned an IDA to you. You can only code during the green light. You have 5 minutes. You may now begin. Who the [ __ ] writes code in assembly? Player one completed her challenge. Huh? Right. Wait, wait. What? Player 24 51 126 eliminated. Joan, close your ID. Wait, what? You have to minimize your ID every time the song reaches the end. Okay. You got to be kidding me. [music] Oh my god. No battery. Are you seriously [ __ ] [ __ ] These are tactile switches. Thank god. Lineers, what are you doing? You don't have much time left. Dude, I don't know how to write assembly code. Remember what you learned in your computer architecture class. Remember remember what you've learned. Do you see it? No, you don't. Dude, I was a coding boot camp student. Oh [ __ ] Okay, listen. Put 0, 101, 3, 5, and zero in temporary registers. Write a procedure to check if it's divisible by five. Write another one to check if it's not divisible by any. And write one that just inserts a new line. Your main loop to check if it's divisible by three. Make the procedures call each other one after the other. Repeat that until t0 becomes T1. [ __ ] There's not much time left. I have to submit my code. Wait. No. No. I'm sorry. Good luck.