Everybody is talking about this game..

a huge game that has been going around. Everybody's talking about it. It's called Mixtape. And this is a video game that's made by a studio that's owned by the daughter of the fifth richest person in the world, Larry Ellison. This game has received almost universally glowing reviews of people saying that it's one of the best games they've ever played or anything else. And I'm going to try it out. I'm going to see what it's like. We're going to see what it is and if it's any good industry plant by definition, it seems that way. It does seem that way, but we're going to find out. Thanks for supporting the IDF. That's what they say, right? And uh yeah, I don't know what to expect with this at all. I mean, I might play it for a half hour. I I I it's a it's a very very short game, so I might just play all the way through it. I have no idea. Le let's find out. Let's try it out. Let's see what it is, cuz I have no idea what to expect. Here we go. Interactive movie feeding off nostalgia. I guess I'll have to take your word for it. All right. Where at? Where the game? Best experience on a controller. the shaders. The [ __ ] Now, I guess I could use a controller. I feel like there's not a lot going on in the game. Like, apparently a lot of it is like a It's like interactive movie. So, like I feel like I could just use a controller. Why not? I mean, who gives a [ __ ] Let me do that. You won't need to. Yeah, it auto plays. I don't know if it does or not. I mean, I I'll just hold off. I'll hold off on it. Game's only 12 gigabytes. Yeah, bro. Like, what the [ __ ] What controller are you using? It's an Xbox. I got Xbox controller. You don't need the control. I use mouse and keyboard. Okay, good. Cuz I hate using a controller, bro. I really do. Okay, here we go. There it is. All right. Settings. Uh, English. Subtitles. Okay. All this is fine. Video. Yeah, this is fine. All that's good. Okay. Yeah, that's all fine. Audio. We'll just change that later on. Should be okay. Controller, mouse, and keyboard. Okay. Well, all this should be good. All right, guys. A game that was shrouded in controversy, seems to be astrourfed by every developer possible. Instead of just making YouTube videos complaining about it or talking about it, I will play it and try it myself. Let's see what it's like. The compact disc delivers crisp, highfidelity audio in a portable form factor with a 16- bit signal and a staggering 74 minutes of play time. It's the sound of the future. Uh-huh. Make memories to good music. Invest in quality headphones. Always make a soundtrack because pretty soon you won't be listening to music. You'll be listening to who you were. What? Fans Slater. Tonight's playlist is important. It's a retrospective of greatest hits to accompany our last night together in Big Suck. A milestone like this requires preparation, a schedule. One must think ahead to experience the vow. These are the last I don't know anybody who uses. It's romantic. Maybe it was an Austin thing, but I've never seen anybody use it. I say I bet one of us dies this time. Mhm. Stacy Rockford. Wow, that's good. Oh [ __ ] we're gone. Am I Wait, am I playing? No, I'm not. Wait, I can move the mouse. Wait, can I Wait, I don't have to do anything, do I? Wait, it just plays it. Does it just play itself? It does. It just plays itself. Okay. Hi. Oh yeah, that's fine. Doesn't matter. Almost. Okay, got it. It's autoplay already. We're already auto playing. Push space for an oie. You can press buttons. I actually managed a way to die in the game. I didn't even think they let you do that. I was like, "What happens if I do this?" Oh my god. Okay. The good ending. Yeah. It's already over, man. And another five. Man, this is really It's really going on for a while, huh? President Harry Truman. Oh, man. That's good. So is this everybody just like you and you get everybody together. I mean the graphics I mean it looks nice right? Sure. I can't control myself. Mixtape. Wow. Yeah, it looks fine. I mean, look. Every game that's Unreal 5 looks like this, right? It's not crazy. Wait, how'd she get in the car? Treachery. Subterfuge. Grab on. We'll take you over the bridge. You giddy [ __ ] Tonight we're invited to Camille Cole's beach party. It's the tits. It's the jam. Everyone's fourth year running. Wow. College kids, rich kids, athletes, horse girls, skaters. It's teenage high society. Right now, we have no booze, but we do have some leads. Well, start at my house, then on to Cassandra's, pre-drinks at our secret hideout, then arrive beachside at 9:45 p.m. It could be one of our greatest hits. Wait, am I playing again? I'm playing again. Okay. All right. I'm I I didn't expect I'd be playing the game. Was that Kyle driving? Yeah. I thought he was playing football at Colorado. Maybe he's going to the party. Think he can buy us some vodka? I'll ask him. with me. Is this your average sub? Hey, Kyle. Yo, Kyle, you buy some vodka. Don't think he heard me. Oh. Oh, not so good. You've got underage drinking. Push home. Yeah. Oh, there it is. Yeah, I can do that. Oh, there's the girl. I thought we were riding together. I didn't want to get all sweaty and Fair. W Thank god. You know the music that plays before a concert? Bands always use the same playlist when they're setting up the stage. That's because it's a countdown. Roies know when their jobs begin, when they finish, and when the playlist ends. The show begins. Yeah. This playlist, the one you'll be hearing today, is a countdown to my last night in Blue Moon Lagoon. What's that? That where you live? You're still going through with this? I'm afraid so. I leave for the airport at 6:00 a.m. You've ruined our road trip. I know this. What's the name of this tearing us apart? Oh my god. Bella Delone. So, you fly to New York. You give this woman your mixtape and what? She just hires you after she listens to the mixtape. Yeah. I'll become the world's foremost music supervisor. What's a music supervisor? It's a great question, Slater. Imagine before you all the music of human history. Every sonnet, symphony, rock song, and radio jingle. A vast gallery of sound. This is the domain of the music supervisor. It's their job to curate a soundtrack that frames and elevates the narrative. Whether it's a film, a play, or a television program. Stacy Rockford has wanted to be a music supervisor since 8th grade. I'm told her mixtapz are spectacular, though I've never heard one myself. Once Bella Tone hears my mixtape, she'll make me her protege. But why? Because my mixtapes bend others to my will. It's a strange almost cosmic talent. Unbelievable. The next track is Just Like Honey by the Jesus and Mary chain. A perfect bedroom hangout vibe. Might be the last time we're all in my room together. Huh, man? How about that? Is this Do I have to play the Do I have to play this part of the game or does it play itself? Okay. I I All right. All right. That's good. Man, this is already unrealistic for me because you skipped out on my mom asking 50 different annoying questions. Her sister yet? Is she picking you up? Okay, never mind. No, stop pressuring me. Sorry, sweetie. Oh, wait. I I'm in the game. I'm playing the game now. EM17 boom box. Uhhuh. Taped a lot of radio on this thing. Now relegated to the hallway. Amazing. Incredible. Oh, so this is the room. Okay. We going to get your stash and keep going. That's a rookie move. Wow. Yeah. We taught you nothing, Cassandra. This looks like Looks like my friend Austin's room. Bolt, Dad. Give away your grabbing booze. Fastest way to get your back checked. 20 minutes minimum. What does it say? Tape graveyard. Wait, there's a computer here. I don't even know what year this is supposed to be. What is it, like 1999? Sometimes a whole soundtrack for a film will get replaced. There's a 2001 Space Odyssey soundtrack that was never used. This is David Sh's unused synth masterpiece composed for Apocalypse Now. Total gem. 1989. Not with a computer like that. That's like a 94. This is a 94 to uh about 99 computer. I know that because I had one. Mhm. Just like 93. Oh yeah. What's that stuff? A mixtape from Colin Bruce. No way. Lover boy. Just like you. He gave me this after the incident. I totally forgot about it. Put it on. No, it's not on today's playlist. Put it on. Oh, come on. Isn't this supposed to be at the top? Cuz like I didn't really Yeah. Aren't cassette supposed to be at the top? No. All right. Okay. Well, it's upside down then. Why is the text that way? device. How long do I got to do this? This should do it. You're doing great. Okay. My first kiss is with Colin Bruce. I didn't like Colin at all, but he was accessible, and honestly, I just wanted to get it out of the way. It was everything I hoped it wouldn't be. The mix AP made me is entitled music that explains how you make me feel. And the opening track is the 10-minute instrumental Odyssey Galaxy interior by Alice Cold Train released in 1971. Totally ruined it for me. Great. Amazing. Is this what I think it's going to be? The infamous scene from the [ __ ] from Twitter. Please, please. Not this early in the game. I thought I could skip. Oh my [ __ ] Oh my. You can move it around. Look, I'm moving it up. Oh my [ __ ] god. Jesus Christ. Jesus. What the [ __ ] are they thinking? Aren't they They've got That's enough. Aren't they underage? What the hell? That's enough. You could put it off. So, this was completely unnecessary for the story is now. It's not like this was like a big [ __ ] I can't work in the [ __ ] kayak shack. I'm going to be honest. The radio's on smooth hits. I assumed that like they were going to kiss at the end before they left forever. That's what I assumed. And I was like, "Okay, well, I guess it has like a plot device reasoning for it." No, it was just out of nowhere for nothing. A random [ __ ] uh vignette memory. So, you can do this. Nobody asked. Nobody wanted it. What the [ __ ] It's completely unnecessary. Slater. Chaw. You think you'll ever cut your hair? You know people say cutting your hair is not metal but you know what's not metal? Caring about people's hair. Ah true. Just like just like where was Camille Cole's party last year? Her uncle's house boat and it sank. No way. A bit. Yeah. Not all the way. Absolutely Idol was there. I think it was just a guy who looked like Billy Idol. So, what do I do? Do I go outside? Portoris Head's debut album, D. A mustave. Cinematic, ambitious, ahead of its time, just like me. She's going to go into the bathroom and cut her wrists. My hair care products are filth and malevolence. My hair care products are filth and malevolence. You know what this sounds this that sounds like this was written by a fat woman. I can tell. Yeah. I mean like No, this is a fat millennial wrote that. I guarantee you. Okay. Um what the hell do I do? I'm going to go downstairs and see what happens. Well, it's a family picture. Wow. Not yet. Okay. Well, what the hell do I need to do? How do I unlock the next uh autoplay? Okay. It's the pizza thing, I'm pretty sure. What is this? Bought this for me from a discount bin in Nampa. Okay, I'm just looking at some of the pictures and everything here. I will tell you that this does like it it is like a I not one for one but it's like three to five of like my friend We'd always go over there after school. Why do you play this? Because I hate you. I hate you and I want you to suffer. Yo, I made us a tape. I got Oh my god, dude. I [ __ ] Cops. Be chill. Be chill. It's You didn't break the law. You didn't do anything against the law. Are they gone? I'm free. I I I'm doing these buttons, by the way. I'm I'm hitting the buttons. Cheeseburger. I'll get three large cheeseburger combos. A spicy sauce trio. Two, no. Three jalapeno poppers. Two serves of cheese bread stick. Wow, man. Uh, okay. I'm afraid. I don't know what to say. Slater, you said it was fixed. It was. They told me it was. Okay, that part's realistic. Oh, that. Okay, something's happening. Oh, yeah. I had this happen at McDonald's. I've never seen that work, by the way. Doesn't that only work in movies? Slater, you [ __ ] hog. Wait, he's just going to leave them there, I think. I've never seen that work. I don't. So, he just leaves them there. Wait, so now she just spawns back at her house? Why do you have to leave tomorrow though? Wait, what? Only time I got a winner to catch Bella Del. I don't know what happened. She's back in New York before she bunkers down for summer shoots. I'm going to bump into her at roastery on Franklin memory. Oh, she's a regular. So you're stalking her? I'm stalking her. I was just really confused. Is this air disc portable turntable? More aesthetic than high fidelity. Gets the job done. Very cool. Wow. Boards are trending narrow with small wheels. I'm against it. Bad for ride quality. Jesus. What are all these? You going to be on the prowl tonight for girls? I don't prowl. Never prowl. Girls can sense a desperado. I'll just hang out, be Slater, and see if I get any bites. That worked for you on occasion. Can we get going? I'm Jonesy. No, I remember this night. I speechless. I'm really speechless. Somewhere, huh? I I I don't know what to say. So, what do I do now? cuz I clicked this. I thought I was supposed to start Okay. Uh oops. Oops. Oops. Okay. Um maybe I got to talk to her. No. Okay, I'll go outside. It's Millennial Core. This is a very very very millennial I I I've not yet. So I still can't leave. I still can't go outside. Well, how long are they just going to sit around in there and do [ __ ] nothing? Jump out the window. Yeah, just jump out the [ __ ] How about just jump out the [ __ ] window? Does that sound like a good idea? How about that? Where the hell am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to Oh, there it is. Oh, there's one of these, though. What's this? There you are. Feeling no pain here, man. They're so cool. Wow. Wow. There it is. What's this? It's like 8:30 in this photo. Cass is wasted. That's the thing with strict parents. When their kids finally get out, they go way too hard. Holy [ __ ] man. This is really This is really something special. I I didn't even Now I have to Oh, I have to put these up. I see. Oh, wow. Of course. And there's one more I need to find. Oh my god. Where's the last one? Is it over here? It's not. Is it in the garbage? It's not. What about over here? Is it here? It's not. We're going to find it, guys. We're going to find the last picture. Um, is it? Yeah, there it is. I got it. Here's one. This is where it all started to go wrong. This audio is really impressive. The the the dialogue. Okay. So, we have all of them now. I did it. Oh, it's just him at the party. Oh, no. It's probably another flashback. It's the filth. I know. That's why I'm outside with you. Man, if her dad's out there, she's totally partied out. Wait here. Where are you going? What are we going to do? What's demanded of us? This is Sensitive to Light by Rainbow, 1978. And you have to run away from the police. Wait, how is she supposed? Police officers are crashing. This is a terrible idea. What are we doing? Don't touch the controls. Okay. Okay. I'm not going to touch it. Let's see what happens. Wait a minute. Does it actually display itself? I think it does. No way. It displays itself. Damn. I'm trying. There's a helicopter. out of control. Listen, by the way, if you ever do that in a shopping cart, it feels so bad. Like, it's so uncomfortable. It's insane. I don't know how homeless people live in them. Why don't they just buy a As you can see from these stunning pictures coming to you live, a trio of young adults have driven a shopping cart onto the at high speed. I tell you, Dave and everyone back there in the studio, I've been reporting in the field for well over 40 years now, and I've only seen this five or six times. I don't know. I'm still not playing the This is AI. Yeah. Oh, the game's made by AI. It's called Millennial AI. It's a new one. It's like a It's like a more woke version of chat TV. I guess we're going to go out. I thought she was passed out. This is a great idea. When your friends are blackout drunk, throw them into the lake. Oh, this is this is totally a hard project. This is a hard project for sure. That's crazy. At least that's how I remember it. Maybe Pauliey's sister can get us poos. She's cool. She's in Italy, [ __ ] Why aren't we in Italy? Cuz you're ditching us to go to New York. Yeah. Well, we still wouldn't be going to Italy. This is Cassandra and me at some mandatory school thing. I love this photo of us. Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed jumped in and I had to cut her out. Jenny sucks. Oh, it's a VHS TV when I'm not home. Films are awesome. And trumpets in the ' 90s. Oh, we had these. I remember this very well. that's crazy. Roxy goes to Marshall High. Yeah, she said Diva were a one hit wonder. Are you provoking me? No, I'm interested in your opinion. Well, Roxy's wrong and her life has no meaning. She should crawl back into the ocean. Yeah. Yeah, she's a [ __ ] [ __ ] her. Mouse PI. Too much cheese. Too much cheese. I don't I don't know if this game has enough cheese. I'm not sure. I have At least the VHS was labeled correctly. Yeah. What is this? Remember when Mitch murdered? I don't think I've ever seen you without headphones on. It's stupid. It's not stupid. I'm just curious. Most of the time, if I don't have music on, I get the panic. What's the panic? Oh my god. No. Time feels like it's drifting by. No. I feel like I'm wasting something. So, you try and block it out. It's not like that. Sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. Some days I feel nothing at all. But you pick the right song, it holds you in the moment. Gives it meaning. Yeah. Is that right? Because the music's going somewhere and you're going with it. Oh. Uh, I got you this. You know, a gift. It's a lighter. Sick. It's got skulls on it. Thank you. Nuke California, please. Hey, are you going to pay for that? You know how to jet to what? That's kind of funny. By the way, like I've never been to a convenience store where you could pick out the lighters yourself. They were always right next to the counter. They were either right next to the counter or behind the counter. For tonight, this is the way you know this was written by like upper middle class girls is that like in my ghetto [ __ ] neighborhood, they were behind the counter. Like you couldn't even put them in your You shouldn't even do that. Oh, like an actual yo-yo. I thought it was code. Okay, they're micro looting. Yeah, Portoris Head's debut album dumb. We saw this one. A must have cinematic and ahead of its time. Oh, is this her? Just like me. I smiled for every photo before junior year, but then Slater made me medal. Damn. Super. Wow. How cool. Super cool. Vague. Mhm. Brown of unknown origin. Yeah, I've got like four of those in my house. Yeah, I get that. The Rockfords. Me, sister Debbie, Dad John, and mom Susan. If we had a TV show, our theme would be People Are People by Depes Mode. Make of that what you will. Jesus. Uh, the mom's hot. Yeah, I guess I'm not a nosy Rosie. Okay. So, why I go why am I able to go over there and do that then? Dad looks like little Dicky. Yeah, he does. You're right. I didn't even notice that. You're right. Okay. Do I got to go in here and do something? Is this where you get in the bathtub and turn the water on and put it really hot and cut your wrists in the bathtub or is that not till later on? That's like if it was instead of a 1990X, that would be a 2000X. You were in my dream a couple of nights ago. Oh, wow. Were we doing it? No, we were trying to buy plants. Like potted plants. Wow. It was a toast. We were in the gym and we lost the plants. No, you do it. It's so the blood flows. Lame. Yeah, that's the reason. And then we did it. Nice. Nice. Uh-huh. That's great. Now what? What's he doing? Who's the guy who hands out joints? Bury something. You going to be at the party tonight? Caleb and Cory are going, so he'll probably tag along. Wow, that's crazy. How about that? Plugged a mic into this, tried to record a concert. Sucked hard. Yeah, it should have been like that one guy on Twitter recorded 40 years of concerts. Is there something else I have to do? Let me see if there is. I did these before. Oh, it's this, right? Oh, it's this. This is our graduation road trip. Or it was. We've been planning it since we met Cassandra freshman year. From Blue Moon Lagoon to the Seaglass Museum, a bunch of other crappy places down through West Hollywood to check out the final countdown. Finishing outside. Oh yeah, dude. This time tomorrow Slater and Cass. This has been the cause of much friction. Oh, to stay fresh cheese bags. That's really That's really something special. Objective Slater picks up. Eat corn dog. Outrun the law. Die young and pretty. Wow. This is just really giant fish big corn carnival bottle art gallery. Incredible. Is this all you've got? Am I the only one who like my parents didn't even care if we drank alcohol? Dude, I just bought a plane ticket. I'm broke as [ __ ] Like 14 and 15. My dad's in the new Mariah Carey film clip. Met her and everything. Huge if true. When were you talking to the Camille Cole? My mom's sister. Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed. Camille Cole what? Three years above us. Yeah, my sister's here. Camille Cole told me your sister's freaking wild. We should rate her room for booze. Oh wow. Maybe she's way cooler than you. She'll have Damn. Damn. More unresolved trauma. Well, it wouldn't be a game with a girl main character if that wasn't the case. Right. So now you want to go into a room, right? Oh. Oh. So you're going into her sister's room to steal her [ __ ] It's weird being in your sister's room. I know. I never come in here. It's like normal. Debbie used to be good at rowing. Then she saw cabaret and her brain changed. I don't even know what cabaret is. Seems like some [ __ ] If you see Dave Bowler corner me at this thing tonight, you must save me. Uh-oh. Yeah, I'll kick his dick off. Is he trying to bone you? Not even. I said I like baseball just to be nice and now he won't shut up about it. He sees me from across the room and his eyes light up and it's [ __ ] baseball time. Uh, I actually don't think that's a dick kickable offense. I'll save you though. It's just so quiet in here. I hate that. Oh, cuz her sister moved out. Oh, like that's Narnia. Locked. I know why you are here. I'm locked. The key is close. Mysterious. Cool. Just like your sister. Shut up. Let me guess. She's probably inside here. No, not there. Oh god. Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed is in this photo. She haunts me. What's your problem with Jenny? Jenny's a [ __ ] She stole your boyfriend. No. No way. I did it last time. I look like a child. I can't hand over money with these. Another flashback. Yeah. Slater. You do it. You're the one with the mustache. To be honest, I appreciate what you're saying about my my stash. It is a wilderness. But no, today Cass rides the lightning. Fine. Yeah. I will try and make the grandest slushie ever. as will I. I got a few recipes. Watch and learn. Okay. Um, well, I would do blue crush. Crush. I just I would do with this all the way, Yeah. I like this is my favorite one. It was this and the pina colada. Yeah. I don't mix that [ __ ] It's disgusting. I would never do that. Cyborg froth. Yeah, I would never really a recipe. That's like [ __ ] nasty. Swirl it. [ __ ] gross. Once I was the apprentice. Now I am the master. Cherry. Can I move it here? Uh, co. Uh, actually, uh, which one's the best out of all these? Um, probably the purple one, right? Bubble. Bubble. Hit it with the purple drink. Double bubble gum. Lime and lemon. Are we too hard on Cassandra? Nah, she can take it. Triple bubble gum. The audio. I don't know what they're thinking. This one space milk mash. Amazing. Wow. I tip my hat to you, sir. That's great. Revolution. Riveting gameplay. Thank you. What are you doing? Oh, hey, Jenny. We're uh making slushy recipes. It's It's like uh sport. Cool. Were you out front of the Cinniplex last night? Oh, yeah. I saw something with aliens. It was boring. Close Encounters 3. Oh, what a soundtrack, huh? All time. Um I don't really listen to the music. I just watch it. I know everything I need to know about you. Oh, did someone draw on your shirt? Oh, yeah, I did. It's a wizard engulfed in a celestial aura. That's so cool. That's cool. Hey, Jenny. Cassandra, your bangs are hot. Oh my god. Thank you. Are you going to come with us to Mickey's? I'll try and convince my dad. It's a maybe. Be there. Nice to see you. God, I hate Jenny [ __ ] goodspeed. Why do I hate Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed? I got my reasons. Damn. Ho's mad, huh? I was getting to the party at 9:45. Do we deem this a cool arrival time? Okay. So, do I I got to rumage around in there? A concert ticket. I wonder who is playing. Must be in here somewhere. Well, it got be Oh, yeah. It got to be a key. Uh, where the key at? Probably in there, right? He probably put it in there. I don't see it. I ain't seeing it. I I I ain't see [ __ ] It's not even on there. Where's it at? The floppy disc. Can't see [ __ ] There's nothing in here. Flush it. Found it. Oh, crashing waves at the coliseum. Oh, I was just moving [ __ ] around. Damn. I I didn't even I wish we could have gone. I thought I was looking for the key. I didn't go. Yeah, we went with Rockford under the abortion pill. Did I have that then? It was before we hung out. Huh? What did you guys even do before I came along? Oh, you know, just hung out at the mall a lot. I've got like eight bucks left. No, I got it. I got it. So, um let's get real ugly. Okay. Uh that that's okay. Great composition. Uh okay. I'm controlling this. I I envision anything when you're posing like a like a mood or I I think I I control this. Yeah. Is that Can the camera handle the kind of sauce I'm putting out here? I think I How many of these do I have to do? That one's going to be bad. How many of these do I got to do? Nice. What? Which soundtrack of tonight? Witchah Tow by Harper's Bizaarre released in 1969. 1969. Pretty sweet. So they grew up together. How nice. How about that? He got friend-zoned. There's a guy I know that was like that. Like our friend Natalie, like he would argue with Natalie whenever we were six and when we were 16. Crazy. You're almost at the end already. I don't know if I'm going to be. I have no idea. We didn't get up too much. So, oh, we we're still looking for [ __ ] Wait, what's this? Wait, what? I just hit on Wait. Oh, it's a seashell. There's the key. That's the worst place to hide a key. Is it literally honestly like that girl's stupid and and she didn't go to college, did she? She didn't leave to go to college. Probably not. Yeah, probably not, guys. Is this where the alcohol is? Girls don't go to college. Yeah. Back in the good days. I know a girl that does like that Polaroid [ __ ] Think it's so [ __ ] stupid. Well, I mean, I actually have polaroids over there, but that's different. Stacy, if you're reading this, it means you're rifling through my closet for It's true. I knew this day would come. I saw it in a dream. And so, I have placed this letter here for future Stacy to tell her this. Your time in Blue Moon Lagoon will not last forever. Life changes quickly. Leave nothing unsaid. I'll call you from New York. I love you and you're going to be fine. Kiss his kitten. PS for booze. Check attached photo. Whoa. Look at that stash. Where is it? Who is that guy? It's a clue. I guess we've been to the Ritz a thousand times. There's nothing there. Obviously, it's hidden. She must have left more clues. Another mystery from Debbie Rockford. It's like when she gave us the map. Yeah, the map. How long ago was that? 3 years ago. The day she left. This could have been a short film. Uh, it is. 3 years earlier. Got a ways to go. Where did she leave the map? On my desk? Are you sure your sister left it? I mean, the morning she leaves for college, the map appears. Oh, okay. So, we've got to go exploring in the woods. Damn, your sister's cool. We used to do this. We found We find crackheads in the woods. Feels a bit elaborate to just leave me We have crackheads and [ __ ] in the woods. Uh, okay. We go down there. All right. Why would you leave me porn? Well, there's a mixtape bush out. My mixtape would just be all um and you've seen it. Uh Lincoln Park, System of a Down. and what you all just sit around looking at it with your banner sticking around. I feel like there's got to be one more besides that, right? Yo, Metallica [ __ ] Oh, man. I almost had it. Space. Um we're outside all the time. What? Like in alleys and bus stops? Yeah. I'm not made for this Rocky Mountain high [ __ ] I'm a docile. The offspring. I didn't really listen to them when I was a little kid. I could get into a hike. It was mainly short. My favorite really was in Lincoln Park. Like that was the main one. A few other ones. Wait, am I supposed to go off here? Industrial military drive though. Wait a minute. What the hell do I do? I don't [ __ ] know. What the hell do I do? Do I go over here? Oh, I see. It's over this way. corn. Slipnot was one I was thinking of. that's what I always would listen to back in the day. Yeah, I remember um my dad didn't like the band PD because he thought they were all yelling and he called them pissed off dudes. A [ __ ] He's like, "Oh, is that what it stands for?" And like after that, I couldn't listen to it around him cuz he made fun of me. I want to investigate. Dad jokes. Yeah, it was. Okay. Um, we did this and then we got arrested. You ever think about buying a motorcycle and just Well, and by we, I mean going wherever the road takes you. I hate motorcycles. Wait, they're about like a car or whatever. No, I don't think you understand my stance on bikes. I want to make this clear. Tell me all about it. Stance on bikes. Just that motorcycles aren't for me. Okay. Bikes suck on a philosophical level. The loud ones. Anyway, what? Bikes are hot. No, they're not. You're actually playing this? I told you I'd play it. Privilege of loudness. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Loudness is earned. you're a singer on stage or a politician or someone, there's a situational awareness to loudness. I agree with this circumstance. I hate motorcycles is a rare and precious commodity. They're so [ __ ] annoying, People that want to pollute the [ __ ] like you have to listen to their [ __ ] Darn it. But motorcycles, they buy loudness and thus they suck. My dad said he put something on his car to make it louder. And him and his mom would drive around. And I asked him why. He said because they were white trash. Just us three. I'm down. We could go out. That's why he did it. I'm there. Oh, I have to move. Oh, I'm moving. Okay. I didn't realize that. You always hated that [ __ ] I'm I'm I'm I'm playing the video game, by the way. You can see the character is moving because of my arm. You see my arm right there? That arm is touching the keyboard which is moving the character. Never mind. Wait a minute. Oh, wait. Oh, it's another frame. Game play. Not for long. Don't worry about it. Did you just start the game? Uh, I don't know. Like an hour ago, I assume. Something like that. How long were your parents together? It was like a 18 or 22 years, something like that, and then they just broke up. They couldn't [ __ ] stand each other. Like, they would get along really well for one hour. They would get along okay for two hours, but on holidays, my mom would end up getting mad at my dad every single holiday. Every single one. And it was it was never anything bad. It was not bad. It would just be like them making negative comments about each other, like sneak dissing each other, basically. Urban exploring. Ooh. Ooh. Look at that. You know what this is now? My version of this. It's an apartment complex. What a summer, huh? It's going to last a thousand years. Oh, good. All the way to the far side of the fields. Mhm. Well, should we float out there? Start a new life? Let's waste an afternoon. It's never a waste. Oh my. Am I moving? Oh, I am. This is me moving. I'm jumping. I'm jumping. This is me. This is me. Wow. Look at me. Look at me go. Look at me. So, they're high. I don't know. Who the [ __ ] knows? Just running around. Check it out. Just like I remember. Yeah, for sure. Man, first AT. Damn, bro. This shit's gay. How are you doing this? Space bar. I do it with the space bar. Oh, it's a trout. I think that's a trout, right? Like the red ones. Like a rainbow trout. Are rainbow trouts gay now? How'd that work? Cuz gay people have appropriated the rainbow. So like what a Well, how long does this go on for? Oh no, it's me. Sorry. You see the flowers coming up? A 10 out of 10. Woo! 10 out of 10. Hey, check it out. Oh, man. Woo! Sick. Okay, well that was fun. Wa! It's the [ __ ] rits. Yeah, but shitty filthy like us. This could be our kingdom. We could get [ __ ] up here. You would never actually do this because there'd be homeless people living there. Maybe she squeal. You've got to throw a party. My parents only told me like you're found like a a get away from as soon as one loser talks. Every parent starts looking for their shitty kid here. Right on. Actually, that's what they told. What is coolness if not exclusivity? Go out there. Bring your knife. Trusted us with this place. This is our bit of the big suck. Back then you could know about it. I will take it to my great. What is this? It's time for what? Say adios to my house, amigos. I'm actually going insane. This game's so cringe. Flutter, shut my door. Goodbye. Stacy's room. Oh, I was at Austin's house maybe like a few months ago. He was visiting and they also they they adulified his whole room too. Like we used to have like posters and [ __ ] all over it. Yeah. Like that's the same room. Yeah. This is monochrome by British group Lush off their second album Spooky. It's a Lush were one of the first. I think it's probably going to go to the party, right? That's why it's nonchalant like my friend Cassandra. Cass was pretty tame up until flips. Then she chose Rebellion. I remember it well. This game's offensive to gamers. Is that the dung eater? Oh [ __ ] My dad said I shouldn't hang out with Uhoh. Who's your dad? He's a cop. Oh, sweet reputation. He thinks you're the ones who spray painted the Reagan statue, that you're shoplifterss. Well, and that makes you want to hang out with us. Is that right? I've decided to disappoint my parents. Dope. This year, I want to write a flaming stallion of delinquency. Yes. What's your name again? Hey, go eat a dick. I I don't know what I I It's the kind of stuff that like I don't even have a I don't even have a a response to it. I have no response. Party's at the beach. Who need towels? Go. I'm state. You going to go swimming? I'm not planning on it. I never plan my swims. They're all spontaneous. Does a beach party imply swimming? I think it's a constant threat. Yeah. Hardest part of the game right there. Am I going to go into the Oh, yeah. I probably actually could. I was afraid of that. You know what? You know, you know what really is unrealistic about this game? The fact that every single one of these is downhill. You brought me the whole It never shows the uphill walk after you've already done this. And like you got to walk up there with your pal my left arm. Coming through. Go for the alley on the right. Yeah, it always it's always great going down the hill. It sucks walking back up. Try getting hit right now. I space barred. I figured I'd speedrun the game. Finish it up right now. Six to land. Oh, there it is. You can't lose or die. Well, I mean, I went back in time. I would I would say that's kind of like that's kind of like dying, right? which way did you go? Are you the new estate? Badass. I thought you got hit by a truck. Damn. Everything is downhill. So, how convenient. Amazing, right? Yeah, guys. Like that's Just like the game. Just like I wanted. Just like the game. I trust vibrations. I do have a certain aura about me, don't I? It's inaccurate. And now everything is downhill. I don't know if it's that bad. How are you even sitting through this? We're now crossing Little Mil Creek. Perfectly timed to coincide with Deep Space Scan by Curtis D. Released one incredible album, then disappeared into the ocean. We listened to Deep Space a lot when we first started hanging out and wasting time. Yeah, I played World of Warcraft. It's just a game, man. I can handle it. I'm a big boy. It's a movie. Yeah, a little bit. Is it though? Charge Throw. What was the best film of the 80s? Blue Velvet. Nope. Not for me. Gross. You're just saying that cuz you want to be alternative. I'm artsy. I'm bohemian. Artsy. Anybody that says that like that's Oh my god. Oh boy. Aliens. Predator. Not as good as Alien. Brazil. Haven't seen it. Peewee's Big Adventure. Yeah, I [ __ ] love that movie. That movie suck. Great film. Dope film. I want to be like That movie was cringe as [ __ ] Sexually Deviant. No. Like that scene at the end where he's crashing through all those different sets and situations and stuff. That's what I want when I get out of this place. Oh. Oh, moving around. I want to try every flavor. See what I like. Find out what turns me on. You know, movies. Yeah. Sounds like sexual deviant. What? I What are you going to do? Look, I'd like to [ __ ] around and lick all the ice creams, but I almost got through there. Cause it's a crushing responsibility. You mean making mixtapz? I mean pairing the perfect song for the achievement moment. Nice. What else do I hit the What do I have there? How does that play out in the real world? I mean, throw the beast. I was trying to. Well, I get hired by Violent Sound. Become better. I will. She makes the best soundtrack. She's done every film I've ever loved. I amass the largest private collection of records and tapes in the continental United States. Move back west. Hollywood probably. score the great films of the next five decades. Then when I die, my record collection is donated to the peoples of California. I I'm just hitting random things. I shall deny I ever lived here. Oh yeah, we did. What about you? I'm going to rent till I'm dead, baby. Rent till I'm dead. You ever going to show us your album? No. I should never have the album. Let me hit the note. Put it on a for me. God [ __ ] his ass up. What about the barrel? It hits. it's just been gnome. Cassandra's dad is quite literally a narc and her mom's worse. They don't let her watch music videos. I mean, she got into college. What more do they want? What these gnarcs don't seem to realize is that an overbearing parental style breeds rebellion. This next track is State of the Heart by Australian band Mondo Rock, released in 1980. It matches the drapes. I know your name. What's nar narcotics? It's somebody that uh reports on drug use. So it it was pretty popular in like the 2000s. Like I was in high school. People would use it. Wait, this is her room. Your dad most valuable player 1992. Just watch the ball. Wait. Yeah. Watch the ball crash into my [ __ ] skull. You'll be fine. All right. Okay. I got it. Okay. Nice. I got it. I got it. I'm going to get it right here. Watch. There you go. Can't win them all. Right. I was better at this in real life. I was pretty good. Looking good. I I was pretty good. You suck. Hey, [ __ ] you. You piece of [ __ ] The bat's too small. You see, like the real No, it's not. The real dialogue would have a lot more slurs. Oh, you stupid [ __ ] Holy [ __ ] This is The Touch by Stan Bush. Originally released in 1986 on the Transformers animated movie soundtrack. It's the cheese, the stuffed crust, the quattroaggio, but this is my only sporting memory and it feels tonally appropriate. Oh, it's going to make me do it again. You don't say airball. Subcr wasn't a thing. Yeah. I feel like the first time they did that was in like the late '9s. That people started getting really fat. Add in that stuffed crust pizza. That's for like bonafide hogs. That ball is going, This baby. Nice swing. Powerful swing. You missed. I wasn't paying attention. I was reading chat. So read chat, bro. Like it's more of a commercial than a game. Why the hell are you putting softball? I guess this is my dad's plan, not mine. I've got the road trip, but I have no idea what I'm into, you know? And that kind of scares me. But you're so good at it. I feel like I'm running out of time to do what? It's like how you love music. You know everything about it. It defines you. It makes me like you. People who have passions are hot, you know. I'm just a series of after school programs. So, damn. You're going to burn it all down. Yep. Jesus. I know, guys. We're doing crime, cast, let's get out of here. I'm going to make sure people find out it was me. That's crazy. How about that future only pants model? It came way later, guys. Weird way at this party, right? Like, will they have the college aura? Damn, they seem, you know, state champions. What does that mean, though? Like, disassociated, bored of sex and drugs. How could you get bored of it? That's crazy. Look at the bed. Look at the bed. Wow. Only Cassandra's mom is allowed to decorate the house. Yeah. Yeah. All proposed changes are deliberated via committee. Yeah. This looks like it was done by a woman. It's talking about the game, not the not the house. Heaven or Las Vegas? That is the question. Cockto Twins 1990. I got cast into a shoe gaze. Wow, she's so cool. This is the only portion of the room Cassandra is allowed to style in her own particular idiom. Um, it consists of her plans, a boy poster, and a photo of me defiled. As I said earlier, the cause of much Okay, let me go in here. What does this say? Detention slip. Moral lapsent judgment. You got the motions. Whose house? Principal Rose. Are you nuts? He gave Slater's whole class detention. Collective punishment. He deserves it. Didn't we already catch you teepeeing his house? We've never tepedd his house. We've begged his house. And he caught you. He said he'd expel you next time. He may suspect it was me, but he'll never know. You in or out, I got to teach you two how to throw. I'm in. So, you're going to [ __ ] up the principal's house? I'm throw it through his [ __ ] window. Got it. Wait, wait. What I do? I'mma throw it at the window. I'mma throw it in the window. Oh, it doesn't let me. No one did that. Uh, I don't know anybody that ever tped a house. Like, I'm sure some people did it, but like I had to clear the room. I don't know anybody ever did that. Now, egg houses I I I heard of some people that did that. Stacy. Stacy Rockford. I don't know about teepeeing house. Think I cannot see you, Miss Rockford, but I do. Your hands may not be visible on this twinkly lightly tissue, but they are here. They hang on every branch. They soil every corner of my sanctum. I'm going to run. No way he'll see you. Dumb [ __ ] You are expelled, Stacy Rockford. No more hiding. No more games. The expulsion is final. Irrevicable. You will leave my school and you will not return. She says it's her. I did it and I'm going to do it again. Cassandra. Cassandra Marino. Did Did Stacy say Rockford put you up to this? No idea who you're talking about. She's amazing. I know, right? I'm inside. His head was above the bush. How do you get an attention slip for something you did outside of school? That's not how it would work, but okay. No doubt. We should plan a trip, travel together if Rockford doesn't bail. Oh, come on. where would we go? Where would you want to go? Where is Pina Coladas? That's not a place. It's a drink. Yeah, 7-Eleven. I'll choose the place. Okay. Uh, well, if I had to break the spirit of someone held in captivity, I would use this wallpaper. I think this is a photo of Cass at band camp or gym camp. At band camp. Maybe softball camp. What a loser. Holy [ __ ] What a [ __ ] loser. Jesus. To study the law. Destined to break it. The Constitution. Wait, it's a whole book now. Thought it was like a sheet of paper. Oh, that's that girl she hated. Hello, girlfriend. Cassandra Ra. Oh. Uh, Rockford, what's up? Um, I'm bored. I'm too young to be this bored. You want to get blackout drunk in a field? can't. Doesn't have to be a field. Could be a ditch. I just feel like I'm going to barf. I'm going to stay home. What are you going to do? Stay home, too, I guess. I hope you feel better. Bye. Damn. She She's depressed now. I can feel my testosterone going down. Oh man, she's hanging out with the other girl cuz they don't like you. They don't like you. You're a loser. You're a loser. Obsessed with songs. Damn. Wow. They wanted to hang out without you. Oh darling, my it's good to hear you. Sometimes an experience can't be categorized in a single genre. Too complex. I find these situations difficult. You need a song that plays high school. Something that fills the gaps, harmonizes, casts your feelings in relief. This is BJ Thomas with Most of All released in 1968. What the hell? Wait, wait, wait. What was this? I can move it around. Wait, why? Why can I move around like that? Wait, this is this is this is part of This is part of the game. Can I hit her? Well, I'm going to go down the alley. Oh, wow. Wow. Just [ __ ] everything up, Yeah. What's up, [ __ ] [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you. I'm a nuisance streamer now. This is going to go viral on Tic Tac. Oh, guys, I work here. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean you have to call the police? Why I work Oh, killing the birds. That's good. Wow. All the books. [ __ ] books. [ __ ] books. Ain't nobody going to read. Readings for losers. Why is there a table there still? I'm not controlling this, right? Okay. She's They're just They're free balling now. They're freeballing. This is If you weren't sure that this was theater kids slob, now you are. Now you know. Now you're circle. For sure. Oh yeah. Oh, this is just really I miss you, baby. Oh my god, bro. Like Theater slot, bro. like wow. Is she going to go in the house? Who is this meant for fat millennial women? With mental disorders, but I don't need to repeat myself, do I? Familiar station. most of all enjoyers. Is this game boy love? I feel like it's not [ __ ] good speed. I don't think that's a [ __ ] slop is like Call of Duty. Fantastic. [ __ ] slop likes you. She called me a fat junior high. You said she had polio legs. It's like uh my dad always says being a teenager is all carefree and [ __ ] but it doesn't feel that way. Everything feels huge. Everything's heavy. Everything's the end of the world. You know, you have no point of reference. Maybe it just gets worse. Yeah. Life gets worse and then you die. That's the way it is. The contract. A contract. Your dad made you sign this. After we got busted. I am sick. Sick to my stomach. I can never show my face again. She would have been in that bar all night if Tommy Brewer hadn't called me. After everything we've sacrificed, I tear my heart out for that girl. You know that effort, the pain to to fit in in that precinct, to try and belong. God, if they found out about this, it's her friends. They're criminals. She has a mind of her own. This school finishes, she's here. That's Kirby. If she ruins this, if she drops out of college, she's not coming back here. Damn. Damn. Parents [ __ ] hate her. Leave it there. Sure. What's our options if there's no stash at the rits? It'll be there. But what if it's not? What if it's not true? Borni's premium penog grigio. Don't even joke about that. We could just hang out the front of dance and wait for someone cool to buy us booze. You know, that's always plan C. I feel like I haven't had kids ask me to buy them alcohol in like 10 years. Like I I remember that was like a thing where like you would just have kids that would sit they would just sit in the car waiting for a guy to walk up and be like, "Hey man." Yeah. Same. Like Yeah. Cuz that's what you used to do. They're scared of you. They probably think, "Oh, there's no way he didn't have any money." They're scared. That could be it, too. No one drinks anymore. Good. Drinking's bad. You shouldn't drink. Moon unit. I can't believe I dated that guy. He got to second base. Yeah, he's a garbage dump. Why does this keep happening to me? All these kids are messed up. You kind of validate them. What does that mean? I don't know. People are [ __ ] and you make people feel like like they're interesting. You know, when I met you, I thought I was just elevator music. worthless. I was in the deep stuff. This is an art project. You looked at me in SL like, "Oh, wow. Cool." Like we were the Ramones. That is really People are so preoccupied with their own self-loathing. They'll just ray of sunshine. Something special. Everyone's terrified. Why are they always great? How are they always floating and they're never high? I feel like it's either both or neither. You made me feel I feel like it like I didn't have to. Oh, are they going to hold hands? Oh, how cute. Wow. Now they're best friends. A. And that other girl is a useless [ __ ] What a stupid [ __ ] The implication. Oh, they're gay. I don't know about that. Doesn't imply they're gay. You got your eye on girls do gay [ __ ] like that all the time. It's just what they do. Any college boy will do. Maybe Mark Rivera. Any college boy will do. What's he listen to? Just alt stuff, I think. Pearl jam. Green Day. He's a meatthead. Use him and lose him. So cold. Stacy, wait. Wait. What's wrong with Green Day? Wait. No. I hate this game. I already No. No. No. Now I really hate it. Mini master. It died in my arm. This is ridiculous. I'll swap out the batteries. Well, I got to click at it. Okay. Where's it? Where are the batteries at? Yeah. How the How do I How do I grab rotate? Oh, yeah. Okay. Uh pull that [ __ ] out. Put this in there. Yeah. See, I've done this before. I've done this many many times. Turn a [ __ ] on. Complete it in 15 seconds. Like that. Honestly, the achievement aim for that should be like uh over 30 years old. I mean, that's what it should be called. I have no way of getting them off. This was one of her greatest hits. Do you remember what we said that night? Green Day is perfect. Green Day is amazing. I love Green Day. Do you remember the game? Yeah. This is like a Jurassic Arc. Remember a Sony miniis? Oh, like on the PSP. Yeah. Don't tell me we've got another When did this place close? It's another walking simulation inside of now. Okay, let's go. [ __ ] I remember coming here. You think anyone's around like guarding the place? Brentton Cole and his brothers got in and said there's a guard, but he just sits in a booth watching hockey replay. Super wasted. That's [ __ ] There's no one here. Then why are the lights on? What a is cheaper than paying a guard. Oh, they spray painted the tree. It's like an unconted tribe of homeless people. What a trip. These things are crazy. Damn. It's dinosaur land. We're in the T-Rex pit. Not into the T-Rex. Too safe. Too mainstream. Wow. The Berry Manalo of dinosaurs. Oh, they got to take a picture of it. Okay. Uh, let me do I'm going to take a picture of her. I'm going to take a picture of the I can't see anything. The dinosaur. It's still too dark. Okay. Toggle the zoom. Oh, I got to zoom Got to get the lights on. Oh, dude. I got it. I got it. Guys, get the lights on. How you do that? I remember this thing being like 20 stories tall. Oh, it's probably the big red button. It's too dark to take pictures. We need pictures. This is a great adventure. It should be documented. Yeah, maybe we could get the power on. Yeah. Okay. Well, there's a cord. But I probably should go in the direction of the cord, right? Like that's logically what you would do. St. Oh. Oh. Oh, it's me. It's me. Okay. I got to play. I know. Okay. Here. Actually, give me a minute. Let me take a piss. I'll be right back. Who wrote the dialogue? A theater kid, obviously. All right, I'm back. Sorry, guys. I I know I know it's exciting. I don't want anybody to miss out. I didn't want to leave during a cut scene and forget what the narrative was. Okay. Okay, let's go. Oh [ __ ] it's a different Okay, turn it on. What about the hockey guy? Oh, those are the hockey reruns. This is the drunk flamingo by Abraham Zimole, who usually wrote jingles for commercials. Lucky for us, they also made this tight little number for a magical evening. I'd never heard it before tonight. Speakers are totally still working. Wow. All right, I'm going to hit the button. Rockford, capture us with my shitty camera. Damn. How do I do it? Yes, we got it. Thank you, Steosaurus. I'm a big fan of your work. I love you and Pretty Woman. Wait. So, what the hell do I do now? I guess I leave. I'mma leave the dinosaur historically accurate food and drink. It's man. The dinosaurs are punk. I think silver new age wage. Dinosaurs are punk. It's the long necks. Imagine being swallowed by a brontosaurus. You'd be like, "Damn, whoa, whoa. Damn. The long boys." Oh, let me turn on the long boys. It's time for a photo. you got it. That's actually a really good one. That was a really good one. Your whole face. Caves of the pterodactyl. We have to ride. We have to ride. The brochure says, I remember this that the ride shows the approximate life cycle of the pterodactyl. Well, what I mean it's a bird and a dog. So shitty. It's pretty obvious, right? Okay, let me hit this button. Is a most ugly carnivorous. No, friend. Bogarts the joint and orders a like a dial like a crocodile so he can push them together and hump the space in between. I don't know who he's talking to. It's not me. This is literally the best day of my life. Oh, everything still magically works. Ooh. You know what this reminds me of? That Jurassic Remember the original Jurassic Park shooter game that they had in like [ __ ] God Town and like Chuck- E-Cheese and [ __ ] beer on Mike Heistler, one of his sucker punch. Remember that? Nice. Those were the days. Anyway, Mike Heisler, he's an anomaly. Like, he's cool, but not in a traditional way. Is he though? Yeah. He gets good grades. He's super smart. Kind of hot in an Ugo way. But he parties hard. People worship him. Ugo. Nobody said that back then. Here's the Look at its melons. The babies have stumpy little necks. I love them. What's he up to these days? Last time I saw him at a party, he was surrounded by a crowd and he was trying to swallow a hammer. I didn't hear that until like 200 the small in first kind of deep throatating it and gagging. People loved it. This game hates me. That's hot. Well, it's made by Western developers, so they all hate me. The way nothing bothers him. People want that. Just the way it is. Don't want to be afraid. In the land of fear, only the man who swallows hammers is free. What? The giant has encountered an error. Please disembark and follow the lights to your nearest exit exit. Oh, I got to do something. All right, let's move. Do you think it's safe? Oh, yeah. This whole place is up to code. I think we can get through here. I'm going to go through either way. Oh, I can't. I thought I'd be able to go underneath. This way's locked. I got to go up there. Space bar. Check this out. Look what it is. I want to walk around like a giant monster mash. It's like dinosaurs and [ __ ] Trespassing is dope. Crime is Trespassing is dope. Kaiju mode. What? Can I Can I kill this thing? I think I Oh, I knocked him over. That means I win. Well, let me go in through here. I'mma follow the music. I read this thing that says, "We're all equally afraid. We just live according to where we see death." Metal. And where do we see death? Well, jet pilots, cave divers, people who do wheelies, etc., they see death behind them. They're trying to outrun death. Sick. That's me. But people who stay inside avoid the danger and parties and people, they see death in front of them. They don't want to walk out to meet it. See, I'm a They ain't to respawn these. Death knows I'm not worth the trouble. Like, if they could respawn these things, that would go crazy. Nice pick. Undeniable evidence. Undeniable. That's the one that like I'm not going to believe in any of this like gene editing stuff until we have another one of these cry triceratops. But I'm doing it. It's like if you really if you really think you can do that, where's the triceratops? Oh, there's a long boy. Whoa. Oh my god. Bring him back. Yeah. And it'd be cool to see those walking around like damn. There he is. They probably taste Yeah. I wonder what a dinosaur tastes like. We got it right tonight. Oh, yeah. Just most of the time I'm wondering if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, you know? Or is this another existential optimal teenage experience? The teenage experience is unobtainable. Yeah. It's like bodacious cretaceous. I remember the dinosaurs were so huge and alive, but coming back they suck both ends. They do suck both ends. Difference is being young, you never get to go back. No one remembers the suck. Oh, I get to move to dinosaur. I guess Air Supply didn't write songs for everyone, but their greatest hits is kind of wall to- wall. It's like we're writing that. I have to move forward. I can go I can do like this. See, I'm moving them back and forth. Exactly. That's me. I'm controlling this. I need more hits. Like what? Late parties and victimless crime and Camille Cole is having her beach party again this year. This is how you know it's like this is definitely written by women. like this amount of like FOMO and trying to like not miss out on like you know consumer experiences that like can be monetized by big companies. This is something that FODs just get completely oneshot by. They do. That's why they they they break up with their boyfriends. Oh, what's this? Oh, what is that? Is that learning about taxes? You're a kid until you find out that Oh my god, she's pregnant. It's the truth nuke. Yeah, I've been saving this for the party, for our greatest hit. Whailing peasant vodka. The drink for those who can't sink any lower. 74% illegal in eight states. Look at the warnings. You're going to get your stomach pumped. scramble. He going to walk by. Come in. Damn. police officer. There have been noise complaints. Do you children know anything about an abandoned worker's cottage in the woods? Possibly some of your friends. What are their names? We don't go in the woods, Dad. Stacy Van, could you step outside a moment? He's inter. He's mogging them, bro. He is. He's completely mogging them. A police officer. You're staying home tonight. Bill Robbie down at the liquor store said kids have been in and out of there all day. Something's happening tonight, and I don't want you part of it. You can't. This is our last night together. I told you about this. No, you will stay home. God damn it. You're not going anywhere anytime soon. What are you saying? Tam Gavin saw you skipping class Thursday. And don't bother denying it cuz I know it's true. Damn. This girl's [ __ ] up big time. Why do you have this? Stoners use these. You went through my room. You're smoking pot. Who gave you this? Those two out there? We've given you so much trust. But I can't bring myself to give you anymore. Dad, you're not ready to be on your own. Not so far away. And I can't tolerate the way you're behaving. Well, tell everyone you're doing a charity gap here. You can't be [ __ ] serious. I'm not paying for you to f around and party at college, to go on road trips. If you're not grown enough for a privilege like this, then wait till you are. There's closer schools. Mhm. I need to get back on shift. Tell those two it's time to leave. You can't do this now. Kid, you are breaking my heart. You leaving tomorrow? If I find you at that party, and I will find that party, you'll spend 24 hours in detention. I promise you that. You will be walking to New York. Now, get out of my house. You promised you'd go to Camille Cole's party. You promised it'll ruin my soundtrack. I'm [ __ ] grounded. Sneak out. Yeah, just go out the door. I wouldn't have to sneak out if you weren't leaving. Whatever, man. Just be there. Cass, now. Just go outside anyway. [ __ ] him. I had every song planned out. We were supposed to be listening to Swans now. This is no time for swans. It's not. [ __ ] My soundtrack is unraveling. I'll need to improvise as we continue our mission for booze on the way to Camille Cole's party. I require something after this to detox super aneurysm and explode and die. I feel nothing but rage. This is love by the smashing pumpkins. I really might have to do that. [ __ ] off. What? Damn. What an [ __ ] Very unusual. Just blow [ __ ] up, right? [ __ ] everybody. [ __ ] them. Yeah. Follow me. Yo, [ __ ] [ __ ] those flamingos, son. Go [ __ ] kill him. I know, dude. Damn. Oh, that's part of that. That was a part of that trailer, right? This is stupid as [ __ ] No, guys. Guys, what if I go over it? Well, I can just go right over it. Okay. What? Okay. Damn, she cool as hell. Oh blowing all this [ __ ] up. Wow. Sir, the time is now. They want to open Oh, it's in the mall. Oh [ __ ] Uh, can we get a W in the chat for terrorism? We love terrorism. They're not terrorists. They're freedom skaters. Where do they keep the world's largest gumbo machine? Oo, blowing everything up. Yeah, look at this. I guess this must be Chicago. I'm behind the roller. Watch out. Wow. There it is. The world's largest combo machine. [ __ ] they going to blow it out. [ __ ] him. So they're nuisance streamers before they had Tik Tok, Oh, epic achievement. I know. Hit the train. Flip off the ledge. Wait, do I do that? What happens if I do that? I like I hesitated for a minute, so I did it wrong. What is this like the the LA like river or whatever the [ __ ] it is they have? You ain't got the speed. Oh, damn. He's going to run into the car. Sport. It's so regimental, you know. Yeah. It's not for me. Not for me. Is this game really worth a 10 out of 10? It's not done yet. It's not done. It's not over. You think it's over? It's not. Andersonville sounds like a town with a population of 100% white people and they love diversity. Now what? Sunlight pouring in like a [ __ ] cereal commercial. You think somebody says heaven? Shut the [ __ ] up. This place is anywhere forever. We're h hurtling through space. Why? No cry, guys. What is this? The shine. Your sister's booze stash. Any clues in the photo? Only that they're here. I actually I forgot I was supposed to do Perceive with different eyes. You know what is this? See past the obvious. Camille calls summer vendor Wow. Oh, it could be in the paint bucket. What's in the paint bucket? looking good. Yeah, it's working. I can't. Never mind. Never mind. Painted in the terracotta pinks of You think that's it? I do. Amazing. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. So, was that it? there's a bit of a torn Polaroid here. Oh, what's this? A clue. Could be. Seems like my sister's style. sorrow. What about the the sofa? The what? The sofa. How can they legally call this a game? Well, I just press the button. My sister's map was the long way to the rits. There's actually a road not far behind it. we stole these couches from an estate sale. Carried them up from there. Okay, where are we moving this? Around the front of the shack. Okay, I get it. I get him. I get him. You know, we tried to do this. And it didn't fit through the window little more. And so, where am I supposed to go? Uh, I guess I'm supposed to go probably over there, right? Yeah. We tried to do this and it didn't fit. And so, we just took all the cushions off. car this for so long off of the sofa and I still have the cushions to this day. They're brown, too. We made a video of it. The will. I don't know where it went. I think Dylan has it. I think Karen does noodle arms. I mean, a sofa is not that heavy, bro. If you can't carry a sofa with two people, like you uh you need to like you have a problem. Big problem. Maybe someone else will find them here. You wonder how they got here. Breathtaking gameplay. Why? Cuz you want to esphyxiate yourself. Another photo piece. Oh, there she is again. On. We're so on. Well, now what? Do I talk to Where's the next Oh. Oh, what's this? The rocks. This would be the spot for the fire pit. I'll sweep it out. Then we shouldn't burn the whole place down. What do I do? Oh, I see. I had to do this the other day. No, I ended my stream and uh I I didn't know what to do, so I decid I went out to the backyard and I cleaned my entire deck. Like there's a bunch of like [ __ ] on it. I threw everything away. Would that be like my hair falling out? I didn't have a broom. Apparently, I didn't have a broom in my house. I had to go to my dad's house and get a broom. Women's job. Yeah, this is a woman's job. Let's sweep the [ __ ] house. All done. No way. Queen did. I did. I took a picture of it, too. Where is it? I'll show you. We laughed a lot here. We drank. We hurled. We laughed a lot. We drank. We Oh my Another piece of the photo. Nice. Look at that. See that? It's all clean. You going to show me your album? You're running out of time. No, probably not. You show me all your other stuff. You know, a sketch that's today. You can make another one tomorrow. It doesn't always say a lot, but you make an album. That says too much. It It says this is who I am in this period of my life. No. And I know no one's going to listen to it, but if they pressure wash it, they see me. Don't you think that's weird? I don't really want to like put that out in the world. I totally get it. Music is serious. You've got to show me, though. Why not? You'll dissect it like a frog. You'll see my insides. What if you listen to it and realize I'm a psycho or something? I'll still be your friend if you make shitty music. I'll just think less of you. See, I'm never showing you. I'm joking. I'll love it. If it captures you right now, I want I don't want to listen to that. If I could take you to New York on a cassette tape, I'd be braver. So, what do I do now? Oh, I over here. That's so cute. I know. Isn't it cute? slingshot. Mess this car up. It was kind of intact when we found it. Oh [ __ ] I got to do it. Boom, [ __ ] Boom, [ __ ] Get him out of here. Get that PBR out of my life. The [ __ ] Oops. In the foliage. Got you, [ __ ] Sorry. Okay. All right. That was good. I was like, there's no way, right? Okay. That was funny. It probably deserves better, but who's to say? Feels bad. Yeah, it's part of the game. I found it. The last piece, dude. Show in the floor. It's in the floor. Holy [ __ ] It's in the floor. it's a thing I painted on it. Wait, what? We must believe. Under this floor, we will find not only a heinous stash, but an only slightly expired cask of the Bordalini's premium pogrigio. I believe. They got alcohol. Damn. And fireworks. So, they just get super drunk and crash out before they even go to the party. What song's next? Well, it was going to be Montel Jordan. This is how we do it, but I can't play it now. Yeah, it's Cass's song. Exactly. It's her song. Maybe we should just have a moment. We should drive after. Yeah. that was the classic. Drinking and driving. I guess we should head soon. What a combination. Cassie. yeah. She's there. Victory. She said, "Fuck you, Dad. [ __ ] you, Dad. You want the best for me? I'm going to ruin my life. I'm going to ruin my life and die tonight. Cuz you're wrong, Dad. [ __ ] you, idiot. Why would anyone even know anything Wow, it's charming. Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed. Wow. Hey, Slater. Hey. Hey, Stacy. Can I talk with you about what? Why did you bring Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed? I knew you were going to be weird about this. We swore we'd never tell anyone. See, guys never have this happen. This is it. This is only something women do. Who cares? Only women do this. Jenny, no guy would ever do this. I can't have other friends. You're acting like my dad. This is crazy. This was supposed to be our last night together. Just us three. I curated the entire soundtrack. It was your [ __ ] plan. Don't act like you want us all together. All you talk about is leaving. I I don't mean you guys. All you do is hang out with us. Guys, his lame ass girlfriend. Why are you being such a dick? Because you messed up our trip. You couldn't wait one more week. The road trip. we'll go next year. It's not a big deal. It's a big deal to me. This is the first time I'll be out on my own. I wanted you there. You should be happy for me. Jenny's coming with us to LA. Hey. Um, I'll just go. Uh, I've got some friends drinking at the Heaven 11. It sounds like you're replacing me with Jenny. When were you going to tell me? Why do we have to run everything by you? You're ditching us. I'm not ditching you. Grow up. You don't get to leave and still tell us what to do. We're not your [ __ ] He's standing in the background. He's like, "What the [ __ ] Just relax. Chill out. You're being an [ __ ] [ __ ] off." So much drama. Yeah. I told you this game is made by girls. I'm listening to Roads by Poris Head from their debut album. It's kind of hollow, haunting, long stretches of electric piano because I honestly don't know what song to play. Have fun hanging out with Camille Cole. main character is such a narcissist. Well, of course it is. That way the target audience can relate to her. Can't anybody see? I think this part's pretty realistic. Everything's fine. There's nothing going wrong. The soundtrack is ruined. And then two girls just ruin everything and make a problem out of nothing for no reason. Nobody asked for nobody wanted. Nobody needed. I get it. You know, moving to New York. Oh, it's like my room. Your sister's here. You just got to do your thing. I'll be here waiting. Thanks. Cats will come around. I had no fish. Just what a [ __ ] fish. It's her last day and I'm in tears and Cass is drinking in the Heaven 11 parking lot. Heaven 11 parking lot. Wow. Tonight's still going to be a hit. You'll see. Sent [ __ ] Yeah. Why do women depict themselves as retards? It's okay. Margaritas. No. Mom, don't offer my friends cocktails. It's weird. No. Guys, what is this? It's just Slater and his mom. Damn. Mom's an alcoholic, huh? How about that? [ __ ] based. I'm one with a I have I have one of these. Useless blobby piece of [ __ ] It's not a piece of [ __ ] They were super cool. You want me to go? They were so cool. Heaven 11. Where's dad? Talk to her. No, I don't know. Let her do her thing. Mhm. You want to hear a song? Your song? Seriously, don't [ __ ] with Well, just a bside. Okay. Nothing off the album. Yes. Play me anything. Absolutely. That's crazy. They have my room in here. I will be kind but honest. That's where my window is, too. I wanted to make this synth odyssey like some 8minute rim adventure about spaceships and dragons and [ __ ] Spaceships and Dragons. You know what it reminds me of? The Patrick Ashbringer. So good. Amazing. This is fantastic. You think so? Yeah. I mean, this is [ __ ] cinematic. You have to give me this song. I'll show it to Steven Spielberg. Yeah, maybe. I wish I could make music. You could. You know loads about music. You just do it with AI now. The music. You just uh chat GPT. Why do you make music for something to do? Music, Actually, you know what I like about making stuff? It's like in superhero comics, you're no one. Computers. fights you or whatever and suddenly you have purpose. You have things to learn. You're suddenly about something. When you decide to make an 8-minute synth odyssey, you got homework to do. You've got somewhere to be. You know I'm going to miss you so much. What? What the [ __ ] is this? What? Don't they play video games? Wait, this guy's got to have like an Atari or something, right? He's just got a bunch of [ __ ] CDs and You look happier in Polaroids. Damn, it's a dirty trick. I'm deaf. Good. Usually this robot brings me joy. I hope this put your hand on it. Fries me like a nugget. I used to do this and make your hair stand up, too. What's this? Is this a yearbook? Wildlife of a garden? You mean bugs and [ __ ] This is what it must have felt like when Simon and Garuncle broke up. The soundtrack has abandoned me. What song was going to be next? Um, well, we were supposed to be buzzed, reminiscing on our way to the party. It was Powder by All Clear. I think you should still play it. Maybe it'll set us back on the right track. If the music can make the moment, maybe it can. Why the [ __ ] did IGGN play this three times? Some guy responds to pretend that they had a childhood that they can remember. That's good, guys. That's really good. You guys are toxic as always. I'm really proud of you. What are we doing? Hanging out. Getting buzzed. I've got to get out of this place. My mom took me to this beach shack a couple of years ago. There was no TV and like only books about nature and stuff. I read a book about this most excellent lady called Jennifer Owen. Owen? I barely know it. My head's a tumble dryer. Yep, I'm wasted. Anyway, this scientist, she discovered all these insects and stuff by studying her own little garden. Didn't need to go to the jungle or anything, What's your point? Small spaces when carefully observed. Please end this woke slob. Wa wizards live in my brain, man. I don't need to go searching for them. What's the story about? Uh, Trump being gay and some movies. Three movies. One new release, two weeklies. God damn. And there's also women getting mad in the background. I may have gone too far in a few places. Oh [ __ ] He's going. Got to walk back cuz I ain't driving. Uhoh. Why not? Why can't you drive trapped inside this? Wait, I think he he can drive. Yeah. What do you mean structure? No, it's fine. Brown's tapes. What's this? What's in it? A tape. Oh, there it is. Just there you go. There you go. Of your dog. I'm a professional. It's crazy that like so so they're nuisance streamers except for they're not streaming is taking the wheel. They're just nuisances. Where's this section? This is what I'm talking about. God. Oh, going to back. Okay. All right. I'm going to backity at all. It says employees. Oh, oops. Just going to put that in my Fraser Bay. Okay. All right. All right. Employees only. I'm an employee, right? Just looking for some cinema. Am I an employee? No, I'm not an employee. Doesn't want me to Oops. Knock that over. Sorry. Sorry. Uhoh. He's crashing out big time. a movie that was damn that was with the same characters achievement. I I did that. I want something. I think he's good to drive, guys. That is long. I'm pretty sure he's fine. Stay away from the new releases. That's our biggest seller. The new releases? Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean? You mean these? Watching you, Slayer. Oh man. What was the 30s? They have What were those movies? That's when they had slavery. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, I don't even know if I'm supposed to do anything. I'm just running around. Man, we're good. What am I supposed to get against? Two classics or no classics? Classics. Classic. Oh, this is a classic, right? I'm not cleaning that up. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, I I was even paying attention. Am I supposed to do something here? I thought I was just supposed to knock Very aware you also disconnected from the reality store. Can I get Can I get a uh [ __ ] This carpet should be illegal. You praise him for the common man. There's a task. I just thought I was going to cause problems. Like I didn't even understand there was something I was supposed to do. Okay. All right. We got this one. We're going to get this one. Acceptable. Need one new release. One new release. Okay. I got to get another one. The new releases are over here. Usually, this looks good. Okay. Oh, I bet it's maybe the yellow ones. I think Brockford's seen this. Where are the new releases? I'm going to rent everything. And happy. What a generic title. Oh, they used to like my Blockbuster would have the release the new releases on the wall and they were alphabetical and then everything that wasn't a new release would be in the middle cinema. Yeah. Like this is not canonically accurate at all. I'd watch that. Okay, I got three. That's why I was right where I feel like the covers are watching me. Wait, did they tell me I was supposed to I talked over it. I'm going to throw that. Yeah, I don't even I didn't even like those movies. Okay. Do I have to I have to go like buy them, right? Or no. You know what's cool? You know what? [ __ ] it. I'm not going to rent out movies. I'm going to steal it. Thug life. Thug life. Oh no. Wait. It doesn't let Tapes seem to be fling the That'll be 795. I was trying to run out and steal it. Are you sure your dad loves you? Of course. The money. Sign for the money. Damn. No problem. Just got to pick up my wallet. I actually saw somebody in a Dairy Queen that picked up their wallet and they just crashed out and passed out. Build him a statue. I don't know if they died or something like the paramedics came in and carried him out and everything just cuz he bent down to get his wallet just totally crashed out of nowhere. Oh god. At Dairy Queen. Yeah. When Cassandra got up on the roof. Relatable. What do you mean relatable? Oh. Um, say it exactly how you said it. Cassandra, you [ __ ] Get off the roof. Got the entire store alphabetical by genre is so annoying. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to hurl. Cassandra, who is it? Mom, who is it? One moment. It's the pigs, darling. You can call me Officer Marina when I've got the badge on, Miss Slater. It's Cassandra's dad. What can I do for you, officer? Well, I don't want to take up too much of your evening, ma'am, but a parent informed the department of an illegal gathering planned for tonight on the main beachfront. No, the party it's busted. Well, thank you, officer. How's darling Cassandra? She's fine keeping her home tonight. Maybe you should think of doing the same for Van. Now, there's some adolescence drinking in the Heaven 11 parking lot, and that's my problem, apparently. Oh, he's going to go even ma'am. The 11 parking lot. But that's You've got to go save her. You got to save her. Here's the news. Oh no. Yesterday's hero by John Paul Young. What was your parents watching on drinking? It's the same as everything else. We don't want to hear about it. Oops. They didn't care. Oh, I went under it. Yeah. Everybody would go to my house and drink alcohol and do drugs. That's what it was. It was a good time. We had a lot of fun.…

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