This streamer simulator is genuinely fun

Now, I played this game yesterday. It was really good. What a game. What an experience. What a phenomenal event. And now we're back at it again. This game, unironically, has no reason to be so good. It is so good, man. And so, on the last episode, I um uh lost all my money gambling. I lost all my money gambling. And uh that's pretty much the only thing that happened and I'm down to 67 viewers again. So right now I've got to go around and I was Who the hell is this? Kanye Kai Synapse versus the Elder Beast live duel to the death. Oh wow. Oh my god. Where do we drop? Oh, it's Fortnite. What you playing, bro? What's up, [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] killing children in Fortifi. Four out of 100 left. Backseat him. Tell them what to do. Try picking up the minigun, bro. You missed it back there. Turn around. Turn around. Let him know what's going on. Dude, shut the [ __ ] up. I got this. Stop backseating me. I'm going to keep doing it. I'm going to keep telling him what to do. Loot the chest, bro. You're missing so much [ __ ] dude. Go back. Go back. Go back. Go. Stop, dude. I'm going to keep doing it. Throw a grenade into that house, bro. There's a guy in there. Yeah. Oh [ __ ] You were right. I [ __ ] ded his ass. I [ __ ] won. Now I take credit for him winning. That was all me, bro. You owe me some P- bucks. True. That was my D, bro. Go away. Damn. Okay. Oh, it's an egirl. Oh god. Why is she playing a video game? Hey, how long are you planning to play for? Um, I don't know. For a while. There's plenty of other computers around. Ask for her. She's a girl. She shouldn't be playing video games anyway. She'll be back in the kitchen. I want your computer, though. What? Why? I just want it. Can you get up, please? Please leave me alone. Damn. Too bad. Okay. Um, gamble. I can't gamble anymore. I'm out of money. Okay, let's go. Well, who's this guy? Wait, wait. He's got 8,000 viewers. Who is this? Who is this guy? Who? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Why are you screaming, bro? Oh my god. Oh yes, I am very smart. No. No. It's not who I think it is, is it? Talk to Pyro Software. Very smart. Yes, I am very smart. I'm going to insult him, bro. Can you take that [ __ ] mic out of your mouth or whatever you're doing? Damn. What are you talking about? Oh. Oh, God. God. Uh, I think I'm going through my third puberty. I'm going to doubt him. I'm going to doubt him. Oh, yeah. Your third, huh? Yeah. This seems like a very real thing. The doctor definitely said that. Yeah, true. You better not be making fun of me. These pubs are very real. You trying to get banned? I'm going to try I'm going to scare him. I'm going to scare him. Dude, there's a fire in the building. Uh-oh. What? Move. Fire. Get out of my way. What? Yes. I shouldn't expect. Chad, am I Sigma? Yeah, I guess so. He just ran away. Okay. Wait, who's this guy? Hey, man. You need Vbot? I sell. Oh, I can buy more Viewbots, but I can't though. That's the problem. Oh, I didn't even know I had a mini map. Okay, let me go over to here. Boom. You got a server now. You can start linking it to family, friends, whoever. making it easier for everyone to stay up to date on your streams and content. Don't forget, you're the attraction. You got to treat yourself like a grand opening every single time. Make sure they're excited and willing to camp outside like a bunch of starving animals waiting for your meal. Or to be more accurate, my meat. Oh, looks like we have a question from the audience. Yes. Um, and pretend to be a fan. Oh my god, I'm your biggest fan, bro. I've been watching you ever since you started. I have a five-year sub badge. What a loser. Yeah. All right, calm down, buddy. Now, do you have a question or are you just going to fang girl over me? I'm going to confuse him for somebody else. I'm just a huge fan of your freestyles. Can I give you a few words to rap with? Oh, there it is. What freestyles? Are you confused or something? Do you even watch my stream or are you just watching my viral clips? I I I do. I watch your stream. I watch every day. Of course, bro. I love your streams. Yeah. Yeah. M let me ask you a question then. What's your favorite moment from my stream? Your um [ __ ] uh the [ __ ] the uh the jokes. Your jokes. You're so funny. You said that really funny joke. [ __ ] had me. Yeah, bro. Oh yes. But when I was playing CSO I Well, okay. I think it's called ASMR. Man, I remember that. I was make I was making the funniest jokes ever. I was like, Jack, this game stinks. At least Jesus. 99 viewers, huh? Sorry. Oh god, it's too funny. Wait, I'm losing viewers talking to this guy. Jack, this game stinks. Still came out before Grand Larseny 6. Grand Lararsson 6. I'm going to laugh with I'm I'm going to play I'm going to gas him up. I'm going to gas him up, bro. You mad [ __ ] Oh, yeah. So, yeah. You're so good. Yes. Good boy. Finally, someone gets it. I'm not just anybody. I'm him. I Oh, damn. Oh my god. Yes. I like to serve you, master. Mog on these posers. True, bro. Of course you do. I'm above you. I'm a literal god. I can do whatever I want, whenever I please. Now I'm going to give them advice. Show them your strength. These worms are just play things for a god of your status. So true, bro. I can and I will witness me. Oh [ __ ] Wait. Wait. Did I Did I cut scene? WE'LL ALL LEARN YOUR PLACE BENEATH ME. No one can stop me. Yeah, no one will. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW I'M BETTER THAN YOU. TRUE. YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Stop it. BUT GOD DEMANDS IT. WAIT, the police. I'm a streamer. This is blasphemy. I'm a streamer. You can't arrest me. I'M A STREAMER. NO. OH, IS THAT DON? YEAH, it looks like Don Lemon. You're right. What about this guy? I can't talk to him. All right, let me get the [ __ ] out of here. Hall B. What are these two losers doing? Okay, let's go over here. Open. Open. Who's this stupid [ __ ] over here? Who's fat? Hey, you're streaming, aren't you? Uh, yes. Yes. Holy smokes. I just got affiliated. Can I get a shout out? I am not going to give a shout out to a fat person. [ __ ] off, man. Go away. No fat people. I'm not going anywhere until I get that shout out. Okay. All right, fatty. Bro, get off my dick. I'm leaving. Oh, I can just walk with you. Call is bluff. No, you're not. I'm going. We're going to get in a fight right now at TwitchCon. My chat did the funniest thing the other day that had me rolling. Uhhuh. I was talking about the new Marvel vers Spider-Man movie. I said, "I don't care. I'm a Batman fan." Yeah. Then what? My chat started calling me Ratman because I live in filth in my mom's attitude with me, but deep down I know they love me. Give him his [ __ ] Dude. Dude, I don't want to give this guy a shout out. Shout out to this guy. Oh my god. Channel chat. What the Wait, I never told you my channel name. Yeah. Dope, bro. Bye. Damn. Too bad, huh? Wait, what the [ __ ] Hi. Can I get a picture? Question him. Do you even know who I am, bro? Yeah, you're Camden Cam something, I think. Yeah, I'd love a picture. I'm going to I'm going to accept a picture. Okay, fine. Take your picture or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Do you want to take a picture with me, too? Jesus, what the [ __ ] is with you people? Honestly, that's exactly the way I felt when I went to TwitchCon. That's exactly right. Yep. Who's this [ __ ] elite. I don't know where to go. Who the [ __ ] is this? What do you mean? Are you lost? You stupid? No. This just too much [ __ ] I don't know what to do. Uhoh. I could get to the meeting lights. I could go see the booths. The meet and greets? Uhoh. Oh no. I don't know about that. this attorney and a giveaway at the same time and a game show at five demo boots. I still haven't [ __ ] eaten. Good. You don't need it. I'd have to go downstairs and around the convention for the food trucks. The food here is [ __ ] All right, let let me just help her. I'm going to help her. Yo, bro, [ __ ] all that [ __ ] Just follow me around. I'll choose what we do. One catch. You got to entertain my stream while you follow me and farm me some viewers. Oh, that'd be nice. I'd love a new convention for Oh, jeez. Not a friend. No, you'd be more like an assistant. A pet. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That sounds fun, I guess. I'll just see some brain rot [ __ ] Okay. Okay. So, hot crank. Chad, you know this whole thing's pre-recorded, right? Wait, she's actually going to follow me the whole time. Oh my god. Wait, who's this girl? Who the [ __ ] is this? Annie Patunia. I'm Annie. I'm a little busy with some people right now, but if you just wait a minute, we can take a selfie. I'm going to ri her up again. Okay, let's go. I'll take more than just a selfie. Found [ __ ] Let me take you out so I can crack. What are you going to finish your sentence? Huh? Um, I'm going to be scared. Dude, chill. I was just trying to farm a clip. Oh no. Huh? Huh? What? You can't talk? Finish your sensor, bro. Oh, no. I'm gonna I'm gonna try to I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest. I don't even know who you are. I thought you looked like easy rage. I'm getting made fun of. What? You thought I'd react how they usually do? Um, no. I'm not interested. Uh, please leave me alone. You're a loser. You lose. Loser. You're a loser. Damn. What a [ __ ] No. Deny. I'm not a loser. Huh? Huh? See, you are. You're a loser. So, did you want a selfie? Uh, yes, ma'am. Yay. Okay. Say cheese. Oh, God. Cheese. Jesus Christ. Good boy. Now go away before I break your neck. Oh my god. Talk to an olden streamers are so ass, man. I'm going to agree. Agree. I miss when streamers were popping slurs left and right, bro. Yes. No, it's not that. They used to do it for the love of a game. Yeah. Not to play pretend celebrities. Yes. Yes. Culture. We had emotes everyone knew. No. No. Everyone just churns out a rotation of third party emotes that are forgotten about after a week. Do you kids even know what gotchi is? Isn't Isn't he asking kids if they know what gay [ __ ] is? Uh, yeah, I know what it is. Yeah, dude. I know. Ball. Why were you guys so into gay sex, though? True. Yeah. What? I don't know. Gay was funny. I guess gay is so funny. Hey. No cutting. Uh, I'm going to deny. I'm not cutting. I'm just trying to get a better look at Vampereay. Vampereay? Then wait your turn. I've been waiting 2 hours to see her. I'm going to insult her, bro. I'm going to Bro, yes. She's so mid, bro. Elbow's too pointy. Nose at an unoptimal angle. Shut up, dude. You wouldn't have a chance with her if you wanted. Better chance than you though, bro. I got mad ribs. Uh-oh. We're going to fight a fatty. No, I have a chance. I'm going to try and get up there. I'm trying to get up there. Ring in my back pocket. Fitz finger. What do you want? Oh, you better not be asking to cut in front of me. Question. Wait. H. Hal. Oh my god. No way. It's Hassan. Okay, I'm going to try to I'm going to rer up. Hey, fine. [ __ ] What you doing waiting for someone as mid as halal? You should be going out with me. Ew. No. Halal is 2,000 times hotter than ever. I'm going to insult him. He's so sleeper, bro. Always yapping about taxes or some [ __ ] Oh god. You just don't understand the complexity of his viewpoints and analyses. Questioner. What are his viewpoints? His views are he I I don't know. He has smart and good views. Okay. I'm going to tell her about my views. I hope this Yeah, I have those views, too. Ew. It's not the same when you have them. Costco guys. Oh, no. I said no cutting. Jesus. I said no. J [ __ ] leave me alone. God, wait. That's I can't wait to meet Amaran. It's Amaran. Oh no. I'm going to agree with him. She bad as [ __ ] bro. [ __ ] Yeah, she is. Question him. Question him. What are you going to ask her when you meet her? To to marry you, right? I'm going to show her my trivia. Do you want to see them? David Lynch. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. No. [ __ ] no, bro. Good luck with that, though. I'm going to want to see the clip when you're at the top of LSF. [ __ ] no, bro. [ __ ] that, dude. I don't want I don't want to know. No way, man. That's too far. [ __ ] Wait, who's this loser? This loser doesn't have anybody as me to greet. Yo, what up, Scheme? Big fan, bro. Who's this guy? Oh, go ahead. Say your jokes already. Everyone else already has. I'm going to say a joke to him then. Everyone else, your meet and greet line is dead, bro. Damn. Who? Wait, you're not going to joke about my Mind Chap speedruns? I don't give a [ __ ] bro. Do you got any content for me? Oh, wow. Uh, you're streaming this, I take it. I am. Yes. Yeah, bro. I stream my entire life and I never turn it off. I got like 5,000 viewers right now. Damn. Balling out. So, like, what do you do when you goon or stream? Do you go to a different platform? Do you go to a different platform? I'm a minor. Okay. I think Yeah, I'm 17, bro. Quit being sus. Oh [ __ ] Yo, I didn't know. Anybody watching this, that was a joke. Sure it was. Anyway, I got a big comeback stream planned for January. I just hope they forgive me for the speedrunning [ __ ] but I'm scared they won't. I'm going to insult him. I'm going to insult him right now. I'm going to say that face reveal was mid. Maybe you shouldn't have faked your speedruns, bro. [ __ ] you think was going to happen? Damn, dude. You think I wasn't going to come clean about it eventually? I was just doing it for content like you. I'm going to insult him again. [ __ ] you, bro. My content ain't fake like yours. I'm the realest in the game. That's right, bro. Yes. Damn, bro. You got some brat energy for real. That's good. Don't let this industry change you. I'm going to leech out of them right now. Ouche. Yo, so let's collab and [ __ ] bro. I feel like we could help each other. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. You know what? That sounds good, man. I could use a friend in this [ __ ] up industry. Wait, what? This line is empty. Anyways, let's get out of here. Here, take this spare pass and meet me at the partner lounge upstairs. Wait, wait. I'm a minor and I'm trying to meet up with Dream. I didn't know that would happen. I Wait, what? [ __ ] God damn it. No. How did this happen to me? I [ __ ] Talk to in what's his name? Get it. You want to hear some secrets about your favorite streamers? Who's [ __ ] who? Who hates each other? Who's dating who? [ __ ] yeah, I do. Who's did you mean dating, bro? Did you mean boyfriend name drop? 100 bucks for the deets. I don't have any money. I I literally don't have any money. [ __ ] that, bro. You scamming my ass. Whatever. Move along then. Damn. Damn, bro. We thought we were Okay, you go in the bathroom, dude. You can't be streaming in here. Oh sh Wait. Stupid [ __ ] mistakes, man. No. No. Wait. I got to get out. I got to get out. No. Oh my god. I almost got banned. CD. No, I can't. I can't. I can't. Follow chat. I can't. They going to arrest me. Okay, let me go over here. Yeah. I don't think anything like that before. Oh my god. That's a dope sturdy way. Can't believe you're touching grass. Talk to VTuber. Jesus Christ. [ __ ] All right, let's do it. I got to do it. All right. Hi there. Would you like a selfie? I'm going to I'm going to immediately hit on her. So, how about we get out of here and eye all your gears, f [ __ ] M Oh, wow. Yeah, sure. That sounds like a good time. 28. What? That never works. Why the [ __ ] did it have to work for the first time on a [ __ ] robot, man? Hi. Hi. Hi. Okay. Um, now, all right, let me go over here. Yo, bro, quick question, bro. What's your net worth? I'm going to tell him. I'll tell him. I want him to know. $10 million. I cut about like uh no your net worth if I have to say nothing. Huh? Okay, I think we got the footage we need. Uh bye. What a [ __ ] Fentine theory. Fentling theory. Any minute now she'll leave. What's your name? What's up, bro? Why you just sitting here? Andrea Topaz is in the partner lounge up there. I'm waiting for her to leave so I can ask her out. Ice cream so good. Ice cream so good. What you going to do if she says no? Oh no, she won't. I am going to gas him up, bro. You are the guy. She's been waiting for you, Hell yeah, bro. Go get her. That's right, bro. You got this. That's you. Wait, can I can I Guys, keep subbing. We're X from Y right now. We're X from Y. Oh, wow. That means you got to spend your money real quick. Okay, it's queso. It's I already know it's queso. Those blocks are moving and [ __ ] Now I really know it's queso. Yo, bro, you want to play a game of would you rather talk to rando? Sure, why not? Okay. Let me thank uh Zoomer or Jen A. Bring Jen A. Okay. Zoomer. Zoomer rot. Bruh. Amus is peace. Amus. Fight a 100 duck- sized bears or one bearsized duck. One bear sized duck. The duck, bro. The [ __ ] is a duck gonna do to me? Exactly. Have no internet access or have painfully slow internet forever? Uh, would I still be able to stream with a slow internet? Yeah, probably not, right? No, it'd be too slow to do stuff like that. Okay, I'm going to go with I'm I'm going to hit it with like no internet. No internet. No internet. If my [ __ ] was too slow to stream, there's no [ __ ] point, bro. Just kill me. Damn. Be a huge streamer with a community that you hate. Or a small streamer with a chat that you love. Big streamer with a chat that you hate, bro. Because that's every big streamer, bro. Easiest question of my life. Huge streamer. I don't even read my chat. Wait, you don't tell them that. Don't tell them that. Become the smartest person in the world or the dumbest. Your intelligence doesn't change. Everyone else's does. Wow. Ohio. Okay. This is Holy [ __ ] Okay. Um I think I want to become the dumbest person because the world will be a better place. I'm going to dumbest. Uh the dumbest mathematically that mean everyone else becomes smarter than me. Which means currently they're all dumber. True. I didn't think about that. Okay, last one. Sit or stand to why? Well, sit. Obviously. Sit, bro. What the [ __ ] Standard got PB and J ass on God. Okay, I'mma keep eating now. I'mma keep eating now. What's up, Captain? Who's this loser? Why are these losers keep coming up to me? He only has eight viewers. Can I just Can I just kill him? I can't. [ __ ] Oh my god. It's so great meeting you in person. Brain gang bottler. Oh, just download chat. Gay son or thought daughter? Do it. Say that again. Okay, I went there. I did that. Okay, now let me go over to Wait, who's Orbiter? I'm going to I'm going to make fun of him right now. I'm going make fun of him. You little loser. Christ, you scared me, dude. Chopped as hell. True, true, little [ __ ] You can make fun of me. I don't care. I'm a mod. A mod for who? That's right. Um, I think you mean for whom? Dre, did you hear me just correct this guy right now? I'm pretty smart. street. Did you hear it, man? man. I actually Yeah, hold on, Dwey. This guy seems to be watching. Let's decide where to go next. Why? You're so funny. I'm going to question him. Who's Dream? Who's this? Oh, Dwin's name is a Diana, but we're close, so I call her Dwee. You two dating or some [ __ ] Let me guess, it's not. No, she's my best friend, business partner. Ask about his business. What? So, you're like her manager or something? Yeah, fatty. Yeah, something like that. I'm out of chat and I'll disc I'm going to ask about her. So, since you're just friends, you don't mind if I r her up? Uh-oh. He's going to get mad now. Yeah. No way. I'm here to protect her from creeps like you. Goodbye. Damn. Who's Fedora Andy? Welcome to the dream. How may I help you? Oh my god. I'm going to I'm going to make fun of him. You cosplaying a white knight or some [ __ ] bro? In fact, I am in the dream. I will serve as a royal guard. Royal guard. I'm going to ask I I want to be part of the Royal Guard now. That sounds dope, bro. Can I join? Yes, of course. We're an all-inclusive community, so you're absolutely welcome. All right, I'm going to declare my my role. [ __ ] yeah, dude. My role in the kingdom is to be her new king who gets to be in them sweet castle walls because you know they want to see pictures of their weirdies. Uh no second thought accept the dream gates are closed. Oh no you stand back queen tree. There is an invader at the gates and don't even um she's kind of busy. Mind stepping back. Jesus. They got back. There is no I'm trying to get away. I'm trying to get away. Jesus, bro. They got a corner up against the wall. I've been told that I've got Oh my god. Okay. All right. Let's keep going. We don't want to talk to anybody with low viewership just because because we're better than I've got a streaming drone, too. You want to touch drone tips? I'm a minor, bro. Relax. Mine shaft meetup is that way. Uh-oh. I spent 10k on this bad boy. How'd you afford yours? One exchange ads. No, bro. You're killing my stream right now. [ __ ] off. Get away from me, loser. So exciting to meet another droner. A droner, too. Did you buy the mic like me? 9 bit rate omnidirectional audio. M. Oh, wow. And get away from that loser. [ __ ] They're Wait, they're going after me. Oh my. Bro, what is that? Bro, they're like zombies. I got to run. I got Oh, I got to run. I got to run. I got to run. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. They can't go into partner lounge, right? [ __ ] loser. Little [ __ ] It's soda popping. It's [ __ ] soda popping. No, we're not doing this. Question him. Talk about Wow. Let's talk about Wow. Let's talk about WoW right now. I just wanted to talk to you about World of Witchcraft. What's your class? I'm gonna say druid because his class is druid. I play druid. Nice. The only correct answer. You're okay, kid. Okay, Michael. I said we're not doing this. Damn. Damn. Okay. Is it Who's this? What's up, dude? It's train. Be nice. That's my boy. Yo, dude. You the goat for true. I [ __ ] love you, dude. But there are a lot of snake [ __ ] around here. Be careful. You know what I'm saying? You know what's crazy is that Train was right about everything. That's what's so insane is that after all the paranoia accusations, every single year, he only becomes more vindicated and more [ __ ] uh more proven right. Oh my god. Question them. Who's a snake? Who is it? Just weird snaky [ __ ] everywhere with shameless double standards. Get out of here. They see me talking to you, they'll stop [ __ ] with you, dude. Trust me. I'm going to doubt him. I'm going to say no. There's no way, right? I don't know, bro. That sounds like cope. You're just paranoid. Oh, so you are one of them. I got to stop trusting people in this [ __ ] industry. Shameless. So true. [ __ ] him up here lounge chilling just [ __ ] It's good vibes, you know. Good drinks, good food. [ __ ] man. You know, just chilling, playing some games. My [ __ ] dude some Overwatch, man. They're everywhere. Dude, dude. Dude, I'm going to I'm going to flex on him, bro. I'm going to flex on him right now. You washed, bro. I'm the better brain rod streamer. What the [ __ ] did you even mean, dude? Look look look listen listen here. Listen here, [ __ ] bozo. I got your house on my [ __ ] wrist, dude. I remember this one. Okay, look. First of all, okay, look look. Yours doesn't even [ __ ] be in here. Okay, first of all, look at the [ __ ] badge. That doesn't even say your name. How the [ __ ] YOU EVEN GET IN? IT DOES not make it sense. Okay, SECURITY IS [ __ ] TRASH. LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. You remember I have an ammo? THAT IS CRAZY. RIDICULOUS. YOU NEED TO [ __ ] GET THE CORRECT RIGHT NOW. Is this This is This is Playboy Mac. Hey, bro. What's good? Oh [ __ ] I'm going to insult his music. I'm going to say, "Bro, that [ __ ] sucks." Yo, bro, just being real. Your music ass, bro. No cap. You streaming this, man. Get the hell out of here, bro. Hey, you can't be streaming in here, bro. Too bad, [ __ ] You what, mate? Tammy in it. I'm going to I'm going to res her up. Sup, Shy? How about we go out for some beans in house, bro? Oh, god. [ __ ] off, mate. Damn. already. Pabo, what's up, mate? Be mean for no reason. [ __ ] this kid. [ __ ] you, bro. [ __ ] ass [ __ ] That's right. That's right. That's what you get. But why? I'm going to double down. You heard me, [ __ ] [ __ ] you. That's right, little [ __ ] Mate, I'll help you find happiness one day. Oh my. I hate you, bro. No shot. Stupid ass staff. Get off my dick. What do you mean? I don't know. I [ __ ] I lost 30 viewers out for what? Just cuz I wanted to go in the bathroom. All right, so it What the [ __ ] man? I got to go all the way back now. Does he really? I've already network with you. You are no use to me. Yo, get the [ __ ] away from me. L. Uh-huh. Twin. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so good. Let's go through here. Go up through this. [ __ ] Go up to the top. Okay, good. Is that Jinxy? No, that was the That was the That was the previous Jinxy. World's fastest 67 67 67 67 67. Communicate with him. 61 61 61 61 61 61 61 61 61 61 Edge Master Complex. [ __ ] bro. I'm losing viewers to you right now. Your brain rod is mogging mine. We Charlie K, bro. Did I eat attempt to out brain rod him? World's fastest 61 61 61 61 61 61 61 I hit that flow state. What is this bot doing on a calculator? Look, genuinely though, I'm serving a gooner plate and gloving that sis of this gizzy, bro. Contaminated not in a Grand Canyon genuinely melting my [ __ ] Smooth off. Jesus, bro. Okay, [ __ ] You win, bro. Take your dub. Okay, let me go back. Oh my god, it's a song. I'm going to debate him. Yo, bro. So, uh, what's up with the houses? No, not that. Oh god. Are we debating? Yeah, unless you're scared. Let's talk about something real then. What do you think about Palestine trying to bomb innocent Israelis? oh. So you support Palestinians trying to steal the chosen people's land? Do you deny it belongs to the Jewish I'm going to support Israel. I I I'm I'm Dude, I'm going to [ __ ] out and I'm going to support Israel right I'm with you, bro. Another 20 trillion to Israel. True. True. That's right, dude. We need to defend Israel. They're America's greatest ally. They made him support Israel in here, you know. Oh no. Oh [ __ ] I actually didn't expect that. That's funny. Holy [ __ ] Talk to Andrea. Um I'm going to try I'm going to try and r her again. You trying to checkmate? Shotty. What? No, I'm good. I'm going to incel response. You're not good. Whatever. You're ugly anyway. I didn't even want you. Are you even supposed to be in here? Damn. Okay. Who about this guy? Hey, what's up? Talk about talk about her sister. I like your sister Andrea more than you. Oh, lovely. Good for you. Glaze her sister. I'm going to try and make her bad. She's better at checkers than you, too. Damn. Oh, that's bad. You're something else, huh? Are you even allowed to be here? I'm going to stay on topic. I'm going to keep talking about her sister. Don't dodge what I said. Andrea's better than you. God, I'm so hot. She's technically not better on paper, but why are you trying to make me talk [ __ ] about her? So, you're saying you're better than her? Chat, clip that. Holy [ __ ] You are so weird. Get out of Damn, that made her mad. Okay, what about this guy? Justin the Oh my What's up, man? Talk talk about his ex. Oh my god. About Jak. Oh [ __ ] dude. Yo, bro. So, uh, Jakura, we know that ain't ever going to work. Let's just get it over with and you can give me her number. Yeah. Let him [ __ ] know, bro. You serious? Yeah, I'm serious. Yo, kind of busy right now, bro. Damn. He didn't like that at all. Hello. Oh my god. It's IU. Hello. So, you trying to cosplay as my girl or what, shotty? Um, no thank you. That's kind of weird, dude. I'm gonna get mad at her now. I'm going to get [ __ ] mad at her. Are you [ __ ] kidding me? Your cosplay sucks anyway. [ __ ] you. Okay. Uh, bye. Um. Um, that's pretty good. Chat, am I alpha? Uh-huh. Talk to center. Oh, what's up, bro? Oh my god. I'm going to rez her, too. Yo, center fine [ __ ] You [ __ ] with white boys who are low-key at a fourth grade reading level. Damn. Fourth grade's pretty high. Okay, let's go, bro. Who the [ __ ] even are you? They don't like him. Oh god. Okay, who's this? Daisy. Oh, hello. Talk about her voice. Yo, so off the record, it ain't real, The voice. Yes. Damn, this is realistic. Talk to Digi. Oh, it's [ __ ] Pokemon. Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm going to hit on her absolutely immediately. Digi, I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. I wanted to ask you. Oh my god, bro. Like, can I take you out to dinner? Not the fuse boys, just us. Oh my. Oh no. How else can we become friends? Oh no. That's so nice. Yeah, maybe we can hit a nice Middle Eastern joint with the Fuse Boys sometime. But my treat though. Mhm. Hells yeah. W RZ. See chat. Wait, so she was the only one that was Damn. All right. They won't be laughing then. Oh my. Damn. I'm at 400. You fake [ __ ] I'll show them. Damn. What a guy. What a guy. You missed. Until I make a comeback. They won't be laughing then. Oh no. I didn't. Michael chat, what should we do? There was a fire. There was nothing I could possibly do. Look at the fire extinguishers. They're empty. The dialogue for this game is really good. I I This is really good, man. Wow. That's crazy. I Okay, I did miss somebody. Let me make sure I get everybody else. I did. I got everybody Chat, am I cooked? Okay, let me go back around. Yo, there he is. Have you gotten a chance to talk with the partners here yet? Yes, dude. Yeah, bro. They didn't really want to talk, though. Where am I? Where am I at TwitchCon? Oh, yeah. Guys, I really wonder. Oh, I just didn't get a chance to make it. Oh, man. Told you I may cheat, but I don't lie. All they care about is viewers. By the way, are you streaming in here? You're not allowed to. I'm going to tell him I'm not streaming. I'm going to lie to him. I'm going to turn the stream off, actually. Oh, all right, bro. I'm turning it off now. There, I'm offline now. Sick. So, you really want to become a streamer, right? Yes. I genuinely it's the only thing I want, bro. Well, stick with me and only me. Do you understand? I can make you the biggest streamer on the platform. I'm going to I'm going to How How How you going to do that, bro? How? Well, my philosophy is if you really want something, you go for it. Damn, that's smart, bro. Like, this guy's smart. And what I want is right in front of me tonight. Is that something you can do? Uh, what? What do you mean? Hey, don't act koi. No need to play hard to get. I know what you want, and I have a feeling you know what I want, too. Oh my god, bro. Are you trying to ri me up? Come on. All the fun is ruined when you spell it out like that. Wait, why do they have the same answer twice? You know I'm a minor, right? You said you're what? 17? I mean, age of consent in most states is 16. 17. It ain't a big deal. You're basically an adult. I'm going to let him keep talking. I want you and I to have just a little innocent fun. I'll give you my hotel room number and you can meet me there later. What do you say, bro? I'm going to wait. Cancel. Oh, wait. Oh, I can't do it. Okay, I'm all right. Cancel him. You're done for bozo. The whole world's going to know you're a pedo now. Right. And who's going to believe you? Do you know how many people try to cancel me every day? Uh, yeah. Watch. Yeah. Difference is my stream was on this whole time. Damn, [ __ ] Oh. OH [ __ ] HE HAVING a bad time. Damn. It's over. What? You You told me your stream was off. Security. Security. This This kid is streaming in here. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No. No. Guys, I I misunderstood. Okay. Like when he said he was a minor, I thought he meant like in Minecraft. Like in Minecraft. Like I I was trying to teach him speedrunning. Holy [ __ ] running jail. [ __ ] famous. Not sexually. [ __ ] Chat, how's my view count looking? 5,000. Dude, I'm actually that guy. Holy [ __ ] dude. That was the best decision I've made so far. Holy [ __ ] Okay, I talked to every Oh, there's Gerard. I did everything, didn't I? Yeet 2028. Yeet. Sigma Ohio. Stop following me. Okay. I'm sick of having a pet. I'm putting you down. Oh, okay. What the [ __ ] do I do now then? Do whatever the [ __ ] you want, [ __ ] Okay. I I did everything in this area, right? I want to double check. I'm going to double check. Make sure none of those zombies go after Where will it take? Uhoh. Okay. I've got big money now though. I've got crazy money. Food vendor. What's up, bro? How much for a Gizzy? 30 bucks. 35 after tax. Accurate, actually. Chat, we are so [ __ ] cooked. True. Too true. Who's this guy? Yes. Ask for a follow. Yo, can I get a follow? My channel's Kaden Brentley. Honestly, I'm above this now. I have 5,000 viewers. What? I You're one of them. No, I'm not like them. Trust me, I'm better. Mhm. Just give me the business card and get it over with. Okay, good. Convention slob right over here. You can risk Topaz. The streamers will act different. Oh, you think they might talk to me different if I have more viewers? There's no way, right? What about this girl? That the VTubers don't care about viewers. Okay, let me go let me leave. Let me I I bet it probably doesn't work that way. Of course they will. There's Hey, quick few questions for you if you have the time, my man. just make it fast. I got to find some content and you are not it. Okay. What's your body count? You shouldn't ask me, bro. I'm still 17. Bro, I lost 56 viewers. dude. 17. Dude, I'm losing viewers talking to this I Okay, is that all you have to say? I have to get away from him quick. I don't want to lose him. You looked like my brother who died when I was born. He's actually my twin. I was born, but he wasn't. I think maybe you could be him, Maybe my mom lied to me about him because she didn't want me to come looking for you. I'm not sure, though. Get away from me, you fat piece of [ __ ] Go away, bro. You're [ __ ] weirding out my chat. I feel like maybe if you were my brother, you would just say something like that because I kind of came up with a personality for him in my head, and it was something like you. This fat piece of [ __ ] is ruining my game. I think that if he was born, he'd probably look something like you. But yeah, anyways, want to be friends? No. [ __ ] off, bro. Cool. I'm actually at loss for words because I think maybe I might have for other people. I don't really know, but you could be him. Holy [ __ ] I need to get out of this hallway. Okay, I got to run now. I got to run now. Are they going to treat me differently? You're not supposed You're not supposed to be streaming in here, you know. leave us alone. It would be really funny if they talked to you differently if you had more viewers. It would be really, really funny. But unfortunately, that's not the way it works. [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] Okay, let me talk to Gerard. I think I need new mods. Bro, there you are. You ain't going to believe it. I just hit a clip of Scheme trying to groom me. I'm at the top of Shreddit. No [ __ ] way. Really? Yes, I'm so dead, bro. Scheme ducked the [ __ ] out when he realized what was happening. Damn, that's right. That was my ticket out a dead streamer arc, bro. [ __ ] moving to Austin. We skipping straight to LA. Okay, lead to the next level. Let's go. [ __ ] that. Let's do it. Um, yeah, let's go. I'm thinking I I I'm not like skipping something, am I? By doing this. It's LA. Yeah, let's go to LA. It's fine. Let's do it. Third tier. Get the [ __ ] out of here. We f to start an LA streamer house and [ __ ] Now what? Asma's going to Hollywood. I'm that guy. I'm actually that guy now. What's this? One year later, Los Angeles, California. Holy [ __ ] We really out here, boys. Am I that guy? Chat, stop. I'm not getting it right. It doesn't feel right. I'm not chuck. Stop saying I'm Do I really got to go outside? Uh, I have to. I've been hard stuck. 3k subs, bro. [ __ ] it. I got to bring back the IRL. He's going to do IRL again. Uh-oh. Get the drone out. all right. My moderators Gerard. Um, okay. Let me think right now what we have. Um, could Okay, I I can add in one more moderator and I'm going to add in Gerard. I think Gerard is the is the right guy. That's like a perfect That's so perfect. Okay, let's go. All right, that's good. And Oh, [ __ ] content. God. Okay. Save game. Let me save right now. You going to have three? I do. I have three now. Assan mold. Wait, what? I saw you're on our side. I also saw that you have some people that aren't on our side. I can take care of them. Strictness is high, damage control is low, and it's moderately helpful. Chat, am I out of content? Honestly, not that wrong. That's crazy. Oh, this is my streamer house, right? Wait, whose house is this? Oh, it's somebody else's room. Okay, what about over here? Wait, who's this loser? Marv. Who the [ __ ] is Marv? Just yap. Just just yapping. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. Sub, Kaden. Guess what, dude? My subs jumped from 800 to,200 in one week. I'm going to get offended. I'm going to get mad that he's getting my subs. Those are my subs. You're leeching off of me. Bro, you know my [ __ ] sub count's been low recently. I don't want to hear about how good your shit's doing. Oh, I'm sorry, Kaden. Um, don't worry. My view count's still lower than yours. And it's going to stay that way. Yeah, it better stay that way or you can take that aloe picha with you on the way out. Remember what I told you. I stay biggest streamer in this house. Man. Man, how about that? Dude, I can't help my streams doing well. I'm going to beat the [ __ ] out of them. I don't care. If I see your video count higher than mine, we're going to have a problem, bro. True. All you guys do is take take. Sick of it. Disgusting. These people are just so awful. Who's this loser? Feels Wait, this is that loser from the Oh my Wait, my whole house is a [ __ ] hole. It It's just a [ __ ] hole with a bunch of garbage everywhere. Chat, that's a clip. Yes. What do you need? I'm currently streaming. My average viewers have jumped from 1,800 to 2200 in 1 week. Must be the subathon. I'm going to I'm going to talk about my own stream. Give me a second. I use bathroomer in your room. No, it's not All right, I'm back. I'm back. Sorry. We're good. I lost 50 viewers. [ __ ] man. Okay, I'm going to talk about my own stream. Yeah, I'm streaming, too. been getting a lot of viewers recently with the card openings. Got a crazy host last night. Card openings. My slip swaps have been well recently, too. Posted a Fortify Victor compilation recently and it hit 300,000 viewers today. Damn. I'm going to keep talking about myself. So, I'm bringing the subathon back and pulling out the drone again. People are hyped. Uh-huh. And if I wrap my subathon early this week, my viewers will probably make a shredded post about how it's a failure. Makes for good recap content. I'm going to keep talking about myself. Yeah, I got a few collabs coming up, too. I'm not going to straight up say who, but all you got to know is that it's way bigger than the ones you've had. Let him know, bro. You are a loser. Yesterday, Kaisen's mod hosted me and it turned into an offline chat effectively. Not what I expected, but I expect this to increase my weekly growth by 32%. Wait, what? Okay, don't piss me off, bro. Remember the rules. You stay under my viewer count or else we're going to have a problem. That's right, bro. [ __ ] this little [ __ ] That's right. Okay, so let me go outside. I got to go outside. Yo, kid. You got any blow? I'm all out and my dealer's lowkey ghosting my ass. I still got some ketamine, but I need an upy right now. I'm going to tell him it's a problem. Bro, ever since we moved to LA, all you've been doing is coke. Damn. Got a problem, man. All I've been doing, you got to be capping, dude. You forget that I've been managing your useless ass this whole year. Wait, this kid's my manager now. Without me, you would have slipped into irrelevancy after that scheme clip. I'm going to get defensive. [ __ ] off, bro. I got Yo, you're a nobody. You're a little loser. All you've been doing is getting me sponsors, setting up collabs, and other sellout [ __ ] Yeah, that [ __ ] is the reason we got a house, dumbass. Shut your ass up and lock in. Your view count got no movement right now. Damn. I heard the president is visiting here soon. That mall that opened across the street is part of this bring back jobs from India project or some [ __ ] Bring back jobs from India. Yes. Ask for details. No shut. President Cletus Cornwood. So what? He's going to give a speech or something. Yes, dude. After all the tariff [ __ ] they started funding all American malls or something. True. It had a soft opening before, so only the bottom floor is open. But the press is coming here for a grand opening in a week. You got to get big enough to get an interview with him. Like how Kaden Ross did. I'm gonna ask about Kaden Ross. [ __ ] hate Kaden Ross, man. He stole my [ __ ] name. View count doing. It's stacked, dude. You got to top this interview. Just handle the viewers part and I'll figure out the rest. Get 30K and I can sell the interview. I got to interview the president. Only shot to making it huge. Otherwise, your only option left is right-wing Grifter. Damn. What about content kips? You know of any good content I could start with, bro? Yeah, dude. Go start [ __ ] in the mall or the homeless camp behind our house. Heard some [ __ ] about murders happen around here, too. Yeah, there's some cringy ass streamer houses on this block as well. Could go there and start drama, but they probably won't let you in unless you got clout. All right, bet, bro. I'll be back when I hit 30K. I got to hit 30,000 viewers. Wait, there's a homeless encampment in my backyard. I have a peak of 30,000. Wait, what the [ __ ] is that? chat. Type one if um Wait, wait, what the [ __ ] Just type one. There's a bunch of hobos in the back of my [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. What? Hey, you be going serious and I'm on here. This [ __ ] fame, man. Give me Oh no, we got a fence zombie. Uh-oh. Oh, it is LA. Look at that. Wait, what's he doing? Oh, he's good. Here, man. Oh, my wound. Get a bit more. Let me give a heat. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You got the Nevrons out. Can I pay him to beat each other up? Oh, what's he doing? Damn. [ __ ] I need the girl. I need one. I need a fixed girl, man. Fresh. Was this what I need? Oh, this is this is this the it's the meth throne. My eyes are bleeding a little bit. Freaking froggy. Well, what you need? No. Still what you what you fear for me? You scared of me? I ain't scared of you. The [ __ ] Chat, clip this [ __ ] man? I'll stab your head off right now, boy. Get out my face. FBI, don't be stopping me. They don't even KNOW WHERE I'M AT, MAN. UH, we need to do something about these people. We got to do we got to do something about this. I think we got to shoot them. I think we might have to shoot him, guys. You be going to change. This is the same guy. Wait, there's Yeah, I guess needle needle too dumb, man. [ __ ] She got me. Hey, man. Come here. It's actually a zombie infestation. Holy. It's a chick. We told us we woke him real soon. Girl needs a stress. Boys needs Jay's or some [ __ ] She looks like a streamer. [ __ ] We told her we soon, man. That girl need her a J or some [ __ ] I don't walk around nowhere, boy. What do we do with these things? What do we do? I'm out of subs. I'm out of content. What's this? You missed it, huh? You know who this is? It's little, man. Oh god, that's an old man. Hold up. Ain't you the hobo I met behind Maplewood Market? Damn, bro. You really hit rock bottom since then. Uhoh. Okay. The proy, man. The the song. The song. The fros and bikes. No more PVC. I'm going to pretend to understand. Yeah, PVC. I love that guy. He was cooking songs. Oh, fire, bro. The voice you left and ain't been right again. Knocked up, too. Wait, he's doing fent, too? He crushes ice from his frozen bags and urges you to snort it. Ask chat. Yo, chat, should I do this? I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. All right, that's good enough for me. I voted yes, bro. Do it. Do it. Do cocaine. 51 viewers. He awaits your awakening. Thou art awakened. Thy destiny awaits thee. For thou art a chosen one, beckoned by the threats of fate. Amazed. By the gods, chat, do you hear this? He speaks with clear tongue now. Oh [ __ ] The eyes has granted clarity to speak our tongue. All the thousand eyes who observe thee still do not. I'm going to tell him I am prepared for whatever journey I must go on. Stunned. Ready to embrace my known destiny. I feel its call coursing through my blood. Go forth. Seek out the king of the road. There thy destiny shall unfold. Okay. That seek out the king of the realm. Wait, what king? Oh no. King Phentothorn. That's the king. I knew it. Who is that in front of me? My vision fails me in my old age. Ah, what is that creature above you watching us? A dragon. Well, yes. Eases fears. F not your grace. That is merely drone gun. He is my loyal companion. He follows and documents my life. Sure. Gods, I thought dragons have gone extinct. Who are you to own such a specimen? Such a specimen. It's soil it is. I'm Kaden of House Brenley. Ah, so you bear the garments I assigned you to fetch. Tell him a mysterious dealer has sent A shadowed alchemist bidds yet to unfold. forgive me lad. I took you for an errand, boy. These eyes and this wretched memory play cruel games with me in my twilight years. Ask where you are and where am I? You stand at Needle's Reach, the heart of the seven encampments. From here, my rule extends overall. Needles Reach, Who are you then, I am King Fenton, lord of the seven encampments, protector of the row. The skin row. Your inquiries suggest you're a stranger to this land. And yet I know your face. I've seen you in dreams. I trust you, lad. It's oblivion. God's help me. I do. I'm going to be kind. I thank you. Your grace. Your trust is no small gift. But you know what fate intends now that he has led me here. I have to start doing fentanyl. I am yet uncertain. I have to I have to ask this of you, lad. Have you met my comely daughter, Miria? She is promised to house Metharian in the north. And sadly, her heart is heavy with worry. She's never known the touch of a man. Will you ease her troubled mind? I shall. My king, I'll see it done your grace. Yes. Talk to Princess Merina Fentthorne. Please, I wish not to be disturbed. Don't you know of the decision my father forces upon me? The whole kingdom has eyes on me. Question her. Your father sent me to ease your troubles. What decision is it that you're struggling with, princess? Uh-oh. What is it? My father promised the lord of our neighboring encampment I would marry one of his sons. All because my father failed to produce a male heir. Damn. Too bad. I must wed one of these Mtharian boys to give my father a grandson who will then succeed him. I don't even get to be queen. Be I'm going to be misogynistic. You could never rule a kingdom anyway. Women are fit only for bearing sons, not for the crown. JESUS, BRO. WOW. YES. Is that meant to ease my mind? Aren't you here to aid, not belittle me? Who are you even? I will humbly tell her my name. I am Kaden of House Brenley. I am a stranger to this land, but I seek to fulfill my duties to the world. Always this talk of fulfilling duty. You sound like my father. I'm going to res up the fent addict. How I fully feel you than sweet lass and really be your daddy. Oh my. I've never heard anyone speak to me like that before. In truth, I've never spoken to a boy in a substantial manner at all. Until now. I've met not even one of the Mtharian boys I'm supposed to marry. How will I even know if I like either? I'm going to offer to marry her myself. I'm going to marry this crackhead myself right now. Why not marry me then, sweet girl? Forget those other chairs. Take my hand instead. Heavens, your offer is generous. But you're right. I must fulfill my duties and strengthen our alliance with House Metharian. What do you mean I crashed out on a fin addict? Please just tell me boys in the neighboring encampment and tell me who would be the best match for me. Okay, so now I have to go in. Wait, so I have to go to House Metharion. Oh no. This is the king over there. All men must goon. All men must edge. A bastard boy. I can smell it on you. Your odor offends me. Damn. What's he mad for? What disease possesses you to disturb me, peasant. A common wretch in my presence. Disgraceful. I'm looking for the Mytharian brothers. Might you be one? Is you one? You know not who I am. I am a lyricarian. Fool. Gods above. What a pitiful insect before my eyes. I will tell her my quest. A comb representing House Fenton Thorne to talk to you and your brother and identified the most suitable for the princess. A choice. I was led to believe I was the one destined to defflower her. She was promised to be my birthday gift. Correct him. Oh, you thought wrong. I come representing the king and the princess to decide the course of this union. [ __ ] you and your house. Her young, cumly body is mine to claim, and you have no say in this. I'm going to threaten him right now. I'm going to let him know I'm a gentleman. Find your tongue. Well, there's not a chance in the seven hales I choose you as her groom. I can have my father se your neck from your shoulders and your stones from your frame, should I wish it. Uh-oh, he's mad. Be gone, peasant. I've reached my limits with you. Wait, this is the other guy. Kalin Seven hells. You frighten the life out of me. Why is it that you're wearing a helmet? I'll wear it so no one can see my ghastly face. I'm hideous. Kind of base. Looking for the Marion brothers. Might you be one? Yes. I'm Caitlin Mtharion. Am I in some sort of trouble? I'm going to tell him my quest. I do hope not. A corn representing House Fenton Thorne to talk to you and your brother and identify the most suitable for the princess. Oh god, this burden is too great. I want no part of it. I'm going to ease his worries. It is but a marriage, my friend. There is nothing to fear with. Everything's fine. Don't worry about it. It's not the marriage I fear. It's the plan. The schemes for the wedding. Oh gods. I can't go through with it. Plan? Speak clearly, fool. What plan? What schemes? I've spoken too much. Leave me be. Damn. What a crackhead. What a [ __ ] crackhead. You can understand Greek now, I guess. So, okay, let me go over. I'm going to talk to the talk to the Fent girl again. Let's go. Oh, [ __ ] Have you finished speaking to the Mtharian boys? Do they seem suitable husbands? Both of them at the same time are. I princess, they are a most curious lot to say the least. Then speak. Who in your eyes is the most worthy match for my hand? Should I? Let's do it. To be truthful, princess. It is I who would suit you best. My heart longs to make you mine. by the gods. I thought the same. The way you spoke earlier being my daddy. Such confidence. True. But I am unsure if this is wise. I'm already promised to a Mthorian boy. To break the promise now may stir their wrath. Oh, we could start a gang war. I can not, princess. The promise that matters to me is the one I give you now. Then it is decided. Gladly, I would take you as my husband. I'm overjoyed. Yes. Please speak to my father, the king, and tell him of your decision so that he may arrange the wedding. Wait, there's going to be a wedding? Oh, thank God. Okay. Uh, let me talk to King Fenturion. Boy, have you made the acquaintance of my daughter? I ask you to aid her in choosing the prince who shall claim her hand. I will tell him the decision. She and I together have come to a decision, your grace. She will not marry a Mran boy. I will be her husband instead. Uh-oh. What? you. I don't feel easy about this, dear boy. Break our word to House Mtharium and Tempest shall flare like wildfire. Well, we just get him arrested, right? Though in truth, I would feel relieved. I don't know what it is, but I trust you, my boy. I accept this union if this is what you insist. I'm going to diss him. I'm going to talk We've only just met, and you'd give me your daughter like that. What kind of father are you? Father who needs an air, damn it. I'd marry Miria myself if I could, but my seed is dry. What the [ __ ] Excuse me, your grace. Seven Hills did you just say? What in the [ __ ] Enough. A man of my age should not argue longer. Go and tell Lord Mtharian the final wedding plans. Okay, good. So, hopefully this is this is the best case scenario is that there's a gang war and all the methheads kill all the Fent people. That's the plan. or they kill each other. This is This is the plan. I've engineered this perfectly. A bastard boy. A combearing message from the king about the forthcoming wedding. Does it look like I care what a Fenton Thorn Aaron boy has to say? I'll hear no such dull blather until I'm entertained. I'm going to entertain him. Tell me I entertain you then, my lord. I tire of jokes. I know. You will smoke our crystal concoction and you shall MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF for my viewing. Smoke that [ __ ] Oh, heavens. I feel alive. All right. NOW GO BRING ABOUT MAYHEM. YES. GO RUN FOR YOUR LORD. RUN YOU little [ __ ] Okay. So cause some m some meth mayhem. Oh. Oh, I'm [ __ ] everything up now. Damn. I 200 viewers. I'm that guy now. Do I serve? YOU AMUSE ME, BOY. The maddest fool to streak across my court yet. You have earned the right to speak. WHAT MESSAGE HAD you Lord Mtharion? I come bearing news of Princess Maria and whom she will marry. Who shall it be? Princess Maria will not marry a Marion boy. The Fet and Thorns have decided I will be her husband instead. Uh-oh. They would dare break the promise we were given. IT WAS ONE OF MY SONS WHO WOULD MARRY HER. None else. One of them would have fathered a king. Now none of them will. And you? Do you enjoy conspiring with these deceitful fentin thorns? No, I'm alpha. I'm an I'm an alpha. Yeah. Yeah. I hold no allegiance to the fet thorns. I am my own man. Tell me, boy. Do you know the story of our houses? For generations, my house ruled the seven encampments at top the morphine throne. until my father, the former king, was serped by House Ventinor. Rash and impulsive, they called us to rule, they said. I'm going to empathize. That sucks, man. I can relate. Once my friend Gerard led me to a crypt, cost me a large portion of my followers like yourself. True, brother. You lost your men. I lost my father. They slayed him with a needle in the back. Couldn't even face him. Those cowards. They have stifled our economy and our prosperity ever since. Out of fear of what we might become. You would side with that house of cowards. I'm going to side with House Metharian. These guys are way cooler. And like honestly, the fence zombies aren't going to do anything for me anyway. But we're going to go all the way in on meth. We're bit No, we're going in on meth [ __ ] them. I shall not align with cowards, nor should you continue to live in their shadow. You must take back your kingdom. WF. Go then, return to your king. Tell him I accept the wedding arrangements and proceed as planned. When the time comes, you will be called to serve. I'm going to have to kill them. I'm going to have to kill him. Yes. Finally, the Red Wedding. Exactly. Have you told Lord Metharian of the wedding yet, my boy? Once he's informed and all is accounted for, we may proceed. Let us proceed. Tell him of your time. I have your grace. He has acknowledged the choice of bridegroom. Splendid, my boy. Splendid. And he took no issue of the arrangement or any other matter. I'm not going to warn him. I'm I'm not going to warn him because I feel like I have to choose warn him. Well, like Okay, so the thing is that like I don't think I should warn him. I I should double agent. Oh man. I could I could double agent. I'm going to play both, dude. Both sides. Both sides. Your grace. I fear they plot something devious. Oh. Lord Mtharion holds a grudge against your house and intends to exact revenge at the wedding. Are you sure, boy? What am I saying? in my heart I know you speak the truth. But I cannot cancel the wedding now lest they discover our weariness. We must proceed with the wedding as usual, but prepare for an ambush. Let us begin. Then let us arm ourselves and prepare for a bent wedding. Get the shanks. Here It's time for the wedding. Converse with the wedding goers. This is the high sepsis of the wedding. The light of the gods shines upon you, my child. Today, the princess's union shall be sealed in the eyes of the divine. So true, brother Kadan. I once dreaded this day, but I fear it no longer. I'm ready to be wed. Let us finish the ceremony. Then we shall make love in the royal tents. In the royal tents? Oh, heavens. I simply cannot wait. Let us wed already so that you can give me your kin. Oh no. Okay. This is Folly. She was promised to me. I laid my claim. And by right, she is mine. Her submissive, comely body should be mine. She was promised to me 3,000 years ago. Lord Allaric, you seem to delight yourself in the young. Are you sure you're not a mine shaft streamer? I'll deliver my bloody shaft to her. That's for certain. My new toy. Okay. Talk to this guy. Queen. Today is a momentous day, young lord. My daughter shall at long last fulfill her duty to the road. Is that right? Oh, I can't talk to them. I thank you for warning me, my boy. My boy. My men stay at the ready. No th and thorn blood will be shed today. All right, let's do it. Let me talk to the high sepsis. The light of the gods shines upon. It seems to me that the wedding goers are content and all is in order. Let us indeed, child. King Fintinth Thornne, beloved queen and honored guests. Today we are gathered here under the eyes of gods and men. Today we not only unite two souls for life, but we also forge alliance and duty. Let no blade nor blight tear us under what shall now be. Let here grant them wisdom. Morphi grant fortitude. Kodi gruntity faintus grunt serenity. Oxycodus strength. Hydrocodus foresight and methodus temperance. This is really good man. For the rights of sealed and vows spoken. Is there anyone who wish to speak? Uhoh. Who is it? Oh, it's a cinematic. Yes, I would. your grace. I feel I've been remiss in my duties. You've put together this beautiful wedding. But I haven't shown you the gratitude you deserve. Wait. What's happening? Let me show you how Metherians treat an accommodating host. Guards, draw your weapons. It's overlord Myarion. I've overplayed your hand. I should have known the Aaron boy would squeal. Watchers, kill them. KILL THEM ALL. NO. NO. NO. NO. WAIT. WAIT. WHAT? It's a bong fight. Wait. I actually did get a bong fight out of this. Okay. All right. I've got it. Okay. Guys, shoot. Okay. Okay. Give me a minute. All right. Kill the Metharians. Okay. Wait. Kill this one. Nice. Got him. [ __ ] the king. Fenttothorn. I need a nap. I had to try. Right, my boy. Your loyal years spared countless innocent lives this day. True. Though I mourn the death of Lord Metharian, his treachery would have imperiled both my bloodline and the kingdom. Justice was grim but necessary. True, brother. I'll ask for a reward What bounty will I receive now that I've defended the crown? A fo perhaps. A so. Ooh. Now that the Metherians are no longer, my daughter needs a husband. And who better to wet her than you? But that's not all I can offer you, Caden of House Dentley. What else do I get? Oh no, another cinematic. All rise for the king. My boy, you have served the realm with a selfless heart. My dreams did not lie. You were the one fate had chosen to restore the balance of the row. For this, I grant you the title of knight and declare you as a savior of the seven encampments. In the name of Heroai, I charge you to be brave. In the name of Morphi, I charge you to be just. In the name of Fentinuse, I charge you to defend the innocent. Rise, my knight. Oh no, it wore off. Wait, wait. Oh no, guys. Oh no, it wore off. Wait. [ __ ] There's two. Wait, wait. Oh, he despawned. Yeah, I guess. Need need They all No, it's over. I lost my They're gone because I [ __ ] killed them. They're dead. Let me go over here. Okay, there's nobody living there. All rightoo. Okay, let me go back over that. Can I go here? Wait, I can Wait, what happens if I go Wait, wait, wait. What? Wait. Can I? Wait, can I? No, it's a window there. I can't. Oh, I'm looking around now. We're exploring. Want to see if there's anybody else in this area. There's nothing. Nothing. Sequence break. Yes. Game of the year. That's what they say. Let me go over Chat, am I goated? Minus one wife. Yes, true. I'm about to hit 10K, boys. I'm about to hit 10K. This is big. Okay, let me go. Can I go inside here? What does this say? Cornwood Mall. And it's got Oh, bro. He's eating corn the long way. Okay. Zoom culture. What's this? Excuse me. Do you not see the phone? Like the camera is right there. What is this? Film here. Like, do you like mine that invading my entire space? Jesus. I'm going to be defensive. I'm not going to let this [ __ ] tell me what to do. Drone there. Why are you breaking its lens, big ass [ __ ] I'm going sue your ass. Yeah, as if. I know I'm fit. My 30k followers on Slip Slop can vouch for that partner. Like I've got you all on video, too, checking me out and eyeing me like a creep. Now I'm gonna hit on her. Damn. You know what? Yeah, I am checking you out. Fine [ __ ] Can I get your IG? Yeah, like as if. I have a boyfriend and he kicked your creep ass. Now I'm going to insult her. I I didn't even want anyway. I was just asking you for content. Just do your squats, bro. Trust me, your followers don't watch you for your personality. [ __ ] you, [ __ ] Someone do something about this creep. Damn, bro. Makes a dude. Are you kidding me? I just started filming again and you're still invading my face. Someone do something. Oh, she's mad as hell. Hey, can I get a picture? Hello everyone. Welcome back again. Do I rez up the stream sniper with the stupid cat photo? I'm going to do it. I think I Yeah, dude. I do I think I do it. What's up? Fine [ __ ] I'll give you more than a picture. Let's make a movie. Shotty 10,000 viewers. Oh. Uh, no. I just I just want a I'm going to r her again. Picture our life together though, girl. I could make you famous for real. I'm not like into you. I just wanted a picture so I could show my friends who hate watch you cuz you're dumb. You're their server's local. Now I'm going to insult her. looking [ __ ] you, [ __ ] You mid anyway. Ugly ass t. Thanks for the picture. You'll always be irrelevant. Someone seriously had to come and get what a [ __ ] [ __ ] The very sad thing that happened. Is that so mad when you try to eat a cat? But I am hungry. I do not understand the importance of these cats. They're tiny and they do not know uh how to do fun things like roll over or speak. Why do they not just deport all the cats? T question him. You talking to me, bro? Who else should I be talking to? You are the tiniest little baby boy here. I'm going to insult him. [ __ ] off, you burn victim looking ass [ __ ] Damn baby dick from all those roids you're pumping in your ass. Little baby boy with no muscle like a tiny puppy. So pun ch Wait, major or a deadette. Okay, well I can't do that. I have to challenge him to a liftoff. I need to now, bro. Enough yapping about your poser ass muscles. Let's do a liftoff. We'll see who's tiny then. Okay, sure. Surely I'm going to win. Sure, tiny boy. Whoever benches more wins may first. Okay, let's do it. That was 45 lbs. Little tiny. Your turn. 40. Okay. Uh yeah, that's nothing. I'll do 415. Watch this. Really? wait. How gone boy? Uh how do I chat? Should I save the VOD? Okay. Uh, binge press. I made a drawing. I did it with crayon. Would you like to see? Yes. Is this of me? That is my bicep. Norway. There's a meat tax. You know that there's a meat tax. The meat you eat. Dude, I I That was so close. I pay tax on having. Okay. [ __ ] man. Sean Brick. Oh my god. What are you looking at, boy? Taunt him. Looking at that weak ass frame you got on your boy. You lowkey fat. He's going to beat the [ __ ] out of me. You'll be rethinking that once I beat your ass. Oh, no. Except bro, but I'm warning you. I'm going to kick your ass. Un god. Okay, let's go. I made run like a little scar for three rounds last week. You don't stand the chance. You know what? If you can just last one minute in the ring without getting knocked the [ __ ] out, I'll give you the win. I bet. Let's do it, bro. Let's start the fight. Let's go. Smeo donated. Bos laid the [ __ ] out. Chat, keep a tab open for your boy. I'm going to make you my [ __ ] Okay, I have a I have a strategy. I have a strategy. I have a strategy. We're going to kite him. We're kiting him. We're kiting him. We're kiting him. We're kiting him on the outside. I can't fight him, dude. I can't fight him. He's going to kill me. He's going to [ __ ] kill me, guy. It's an MMA fighter. I I have to run. I have to run. I'm going to run. I have to kite him around the corner. It's fine. Okay. I got no balls. You're right. I've got I'm running him out. He's gassed out. He's gassed out. Okay. This is it. All right. Come on. Stop being a little [ __ ] Stop being a little [ __ ] Wait, what do you mean? This is a legitimate strategy. Get kited, [ __ ] Here we go. Over here. Here we go. Damn. Damn. What's up? No, you just ran the whole time. Whatever. You lasted the minute. Fine. I'll give you the win. If I want That's right. Who's this guy? Rando. What's up? I'm going to give him advice. Bro, if you want any results, you got to up the intensity. Yeah, I'm going to tell him what to do. What do you mean? I'm just doing my cardio. How about you mind your business? Bro, you ain't doing dick. Are you even taking this [ __ ] serious? Yes, I'm serious about my cardio, dude. I'm just warming up. I'm going to train him right now. I'll train myself. I need a trainer. I can teach you how to get as yolked as me. I don't need your help. I told you this just warm up. Prove it. Prove it then. Okay, fine. up the treadmill speaker. You'll see I can handle it. Oh, my throat is too. All right, I upped it. Yeah. See, I can handle it. This is nothing. Go again. More. All right, a little more. How's that? Yeah, this is fine. See, I wasn't lying. Keep going. That was only 5 mph, bro. How about Yeah, I can handle this. It's not even that fast. Up it again. Feeling the burn now? Okay, hold on. Slow down. I wasn't even worried about it. Wait. Oh, no. What? What? Bro, that's nothing. Here, I'mma crank it up for real. Yeah. Let's go. Go fast. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Go to jail. Go to jail. I just kicked a shady dealer. You need a little enhancement? What you talking about, bro? Saying if you need a little performance boost, let me know. I do. I heard that little challenge you started with. Canude. You won't beat him. They're all using. You got to if you want to. I have to. I have to. Okay, fine. What kind of steroids do you recommend? Steroids? No, I sell fake weights, man. Like I said, everyone uses Fake weights. I need a mug on that shot as hard as I can. Give me the fattest fake weights you got. You got it, man. These are exact replicas of the weights in there. Just slap them on and you'll put it up with no effort at all. Okay. All right. Easy. Yo, Brentley Martin, I got a boner to pick with you, bro. Why the [ __ ] is everyone stealing my name? Please let somebody Please let me be able to take his hat off. What are you on about, bro? Hey, are you eyeing my hat? Disrespectful. I'll eye what I want. It's a free country and [ __ ] You also get a free ass woman if you keep it up. Damn, what an [ __ ] Yo, quick questions for you, little sis. Um, okay. Ask about height and guys. So, do you think height matters in a guy? Uh, kind of. I prefer tall guys. all right. So, I got a scale with me. If height matters in a guy, then you don't mind stepping on the scale, right? Yes. It isn't me. That is my bicep, I mean, to be fair, it's literally not that deep. It's just preference. I'm going to debate her. I'm going to debate her right now. Guys can't change their height, so that's to judge you off what you can change. Get on the scale. Yeah, get on the scale, fatty. Dude, it's it's literally just a preference thing. Like, some guys like small girls, some like big girls. No, they don't. Get on the scale. Just get on the scale, bro. Okay, fine. All right. Satisfied. Wait. 230? Damn. 100 lb at that height. That's bro. He's calling her fat at 100 lb. You talk a whole lot about things guys can't change and then you cut your hair like that. Damn. Damn. I've got to take his hat. I'm going to take his hat. I try. Give me my hat. Oh no. Oh no. Give me my [ __ ] hat. Not playing with you, [ __ ] That's what happens. Now hit this. Wait. Chat type one. If Okay, let me do this. I'm going to steal his hat and run away. These cats, they're tiny. And they do not know. Yo, thanks for the stickers. Got it. You get three big Got it. 1,000 aura. Too easy. One arm culture frat leader Kaden Brenley Muntson brutally frame mug sub dairy goar canude. I'm actually that guy. No, that was higher. Good mine PR. How have you beaten my record? I'm going to gloat. Who's tiny now, [ __ ] boy? All those voids yet no damn chat. Put some L's in chat for this beta. It cannot be. I am a failure. I do not belong in gym. I belong dead. Damn. Who should we ask next? Okay. How many likes for a stream together? Oh, no. Shoot him away. Hell no, bro. I know your ass. Go ask N. That guy interrupted me. Come on, dude. A segment at least. How many likes? 100 million likes and 10 million comments. All right. 100 million likes and it's going to [ __ ] me up comments and we can do a stream together. I bet, bro. I'll be back. There's no [ __ ] shot you get that. Okay, I got to run fast. I ran. I'm I'm gone. I'm gone. I'm out. Ooh. What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong, man? Hey. Hey. Hey. What's up with the hat? What's this? Dubai matcha. Hey, welcome to Dubai Matcha. How are you today? Bad [ __ ] Doing really awful, actually. Oh, that's good. Um, uh, crash out. The [ __ ] bro? You think that's good? You think it'd be good, too, if I unalived myself? Yeah, you stupid [ __ ] Uh, I don't This isn't part of the script. It is now. You don't know what if I should unalive myself. Maybe I'll do it right here in front of you and change the course of your life. What? What's wrong? What's wrong? I thought we were having fun. What's in here? Emergency exit. Can I pull the emergency exit door? No. Chat, be honest. Are you old bots? Okay. Who's this? What's fat doing? Lifestyle. Oh, new clothes. I changed my hoodie. I want to get a new one on now. What's this fedora? Oh man. I could do the fedora, but I do I do have the red Donald Trump hat. I think I might need the red hat. The crown. Wait, if I wear this crown, can I say the N word? Wait, here. Let me talk to Let me Let me talk to somebody. K. Does it unlock the N word? Hey, stop right there. [ __ ] Oh no. Yeah, bastard buddy. You came here to meet an underage boy. You sick [ __ ] Role play. Oh god. No. I [ __ ] knew it, man. I [ __ ] knew it. Listen, he told me he was 18. Okay, he was 18. What were you trying to do? Huh? What were you trying to do with that kid, you sick [ __ ] Uh, play play video games. I was just going to carry him in fortify, bro. It was Yeah, then carry him to the bed. Huh? [ __ ] hold me back. I'm going to take this guy's head in. Chill. I was [ __ ] with you. I'm just a streamer, big dog. What? We got the wrong guy. [ __ ] bro. Where do you say the guy was? Apparently not here, bro. He ran. He freaking got away. [ __ ] man. You just made us lose one. We're going to catch him. We're going to catch him right now. You guys pedo hunting? I can help on God one. I canled his ass at Twingecon. Damn. True. You look pretty young, dude. Can you be our bait? I don't know where the hell our actor ran off to and we need to catch someone for today's stream. I've got to talk to somebody down, bro. This shit's going to be content. All right, go flirt with some dudes and see if any of them are DTF. Give us the signal and we'll jump them. Hey, you're [ __ ] annoying. Get defensive immediately. [ __ ] you coming at me for, bro? I didn't do [ __ ] No, I always see you under people's post advertising your stream. You're [ __ ] annoying. True. That [ __ ] is annoying. Oh, that's my friend Gerard. He reply guys for me while I'm streaming. I'm going to m him right now. I'm going to m him. Anyway, you know me, so it's working. You mad [ __ ] I don't [ __ ] care. Nonchalant. I don't really care that you don't care. You will, [ __ ] Once I start putting your chat to sleep with Wikipedia. I'm going to stop him right now. Wait, hold on. Born on 28th of June 1491 at the Palace of Placentia in Greenwich, Kent, Henry Tudtor was the third child and second son of King Henry II and Elizabeth of York. Yo, stop it, dude. I'm losing viewers. Of the young Enry's six siblings, only three. His brother Archer, Prince of Wales, and sister Margaret and Mary survived infancy. Shut up. Please, dude, get away from me. Shut up. He was baptized by Richard Fox, the bishop of exiter at the church of the observant Franciscans close to the palace. Okay, I've done enough damage. I hate you so much. Have a horrible day. What a nice guy. Wow, what a nice guy. Bait a potential predator. I was expecting it to be somebody else. break my fit. I was expecting the person that got baited to be different. I expected him to be taller. Oh, yeah. This guy for real looks like a predator. It could be EDP. You're right. What? I didn't hear you. Sorry. I had my earbuds in. Ask about video games. Yo, real quick. You play any games? like um h what do kids play? Uh do you play Roblox? Oh yeah, I played Roblox with my son. It's surprisingly really fun. Lots of creative kids making cool games on there. I'm going to bait him. Oh yeah, you like playing with kids. I'm just 13 and I don't have many friends. Maybe we can play. Uh no thanks. That'd be a little weird. I'm sure you can find kids your age to play with. Oh, so you don't think I'm hot enough? What do you prefer, huh? 12year-olds. Whoa. Whoa. What? What are you talking about? No. Accuse him of being a predator right Yeah, I know what you are, bro. I told you and you kept talking to me. Damn, dude. What? You're the one who came up to me, kid. Just get away. Oh, so just because I came up to you means I want it. You disgust me. I'm going to call Vitali over right now. Vali, this guy. This is the guy trying to get away. bait him. Okay, now what? Come here. Got you, pal. You think you can go around trying to get with little kids? Yeah, you [ __ ] weirdo. YEAH. OH. OOH, THAT'S RIGHT. YES, BRO. BASED. [ __ ] yeah, dude. Thanks for helping us. Really needed an excuse to kick someone's ass. That felt good. Kick him right in the dick. [ __ ] yeah. Let's go. Oh, who's this? I get the viewbot deal. Wait, that's another streamer. That's a streamer right there. Oh my god. Who is it? Oh, pizza. Pizza. I'm about to take my pants off. would you rather? Okay, go ahead. Ask me one. Would you rather be able to speak only in twinge emotes or in dead memes? Dead memes. Dead memes, bro. I can farm so many pains champs. Watch. Here come that boy. Oh [ __ ] What up? Oh wow, that's an old one. Would you rather have to call every woman you meet mama or every guy you meet daddy? Every woman you meet mommy. Have to call them mommy. I'm already doing that. Would you rather have to e date forever or be alone forever? Eate forever. Eate, bro. By the way, my DMs are open to any fond shits trying to get a Marvel Rebel carry. Oo, paste. Would you rather fumble a 10 or bag one that cheats on you? Uh, well, I did the first one, so we'll go with that. I'll fumble the baddie. I'm used to it. Why don't these hoes want me, man? That's too bad. Probably cuz you called. I got a few more. Okay, what is it? Would you rather have the father figure that was desperately missing in your childhood or a yacht? Boat. Boat. Boat. Boat. I turned out fine without a dad. [ __ ] Wait, he didn't have a dad. Would you rather take it all back and be the son your mom needed or have a Lambo? Lambo? A Lambo, bro. If my mom cared about me in the first place, she would have bought me one. True, man. If she really loved you, she would have bought you a Lamborghini. Last one. Would you rather find out that you're just a character in a video game or live in a blissful ignorance? I think we've got to take the red pill. I think we need to take the red pill. I'd rather find out. Show me, dude. I picked the red pill. Nah, it was just a hypothetical, brother.…

Transcript truncated. Watch the full video for the complete content.