Who the f*ck made this??

Is there a more appropriate contender to be turned into an Elder Ring boss? Not right now. There's not. First up, the room. Whoa. A nice crooked wooden floor. We'll have to piece it together, though. Oh my god. We're off to a fantastic start. Straight out of the gate, I was gluing these together with super glue and bicarbonate of soda. Except good, right? I didn't use bicarbonate of soda, did I? Baking soda. That's a [ __ ] I don't even know where that came from. That was just sat there in a sticky gloop. What are y'all doing, man? I'm sorry. What the [ __ ] What is he doing? Wait. What the [ __ ] This is supposed to be my room. Anyway, I'm thinking, you know, like one of those snively little dungeons, nothing grand. You know, when you go down there and there would be an unassuming little wretch of a boss. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right, let's see if I can [ __ ] uh like the Is there a boss in here? Okay, let's go down here and wait. What the hell? What's up, y'all? Okay, we need some ruined. Is it called filthbound hermit walls? These particular walls are from Gothic things on my mini factory. I like this because the buildings have the perfect amount of detail. They don't make me want to drown myself in n oil when it comes to painting them. Yeah. Who is the worst YouTuber? Asol. You just see I didn't even know this. Like I I never watch the hate videos about myself. Like I'm too video I'm too busy watching my own videos to watch videos about me cuz I don't want to have somebody else interrupt the good content, right? So I don't really see these a whole lot. So these are the first time I'm seeing a lot of these clips are in the corner with his face like this. I agree that Asmin Gold is a wonderful person. I love how like the implication is something happened to the cat. Nothing happened to the cat. Okay. It required some very specific wares, so I had to reach out to a very specific entity. Uh-huh. A tarnish burden by craft. Uh-oh. Uhoh. That seems pretty normal. Oh, I thought that was part of the Epstein files. Never mind. Best games, the masters of miniature horror and my favorite creators. If you're on the lookout for some uniquely horrific miniatures alongside some excellent world building and campaigns, you don't need to go anywhere else. They have physical models. Oh my lord. And a huge catalog of digital versions which you can print at home. Can't beat that. Buy them as a one-off or get big discounts with the I only have one of those things. I have Where is it? My mom got me this. Look at this. Just a minute. Hollow up. There he is. Over there. Damn, bro. He got that flag. He got that over there. See that? Yeah, that's the only one I have. That's the only one I need. Please subscription. My favorite part about this place is the insane variety of themes. Go and take a look. Link in the description. So, I had to wrangle these demons and ask them very nicely if I could use some of their bits and pieces to loosely recreate Asminold's existence if it was in a souls Elder Ring game. I didn't actually tell them that last part, so they're finding out at the same time as you. So, fingers crossed. Let's see. Oh, man. H I know, right? Well, we're going to have to take a few creative liberties. But this is our inspiration. Cozy, I think. Shut up. We need to start adding things. Look. All right. Right now. Right now. Completely. Like just I never saw this. Look. Look at my room. Look at my room. Just real quick. Look. Look. I just I want y'all to see that it's [ __ ] clean, okay? Because I've been I've been seeing this [ __ ] [ __ ] And I have this happen all the time. And everybody's always talking [ __ ] So you look at this here, right? My entire room is clean. Like the room is [ __ ] clean. I even have Windex on the [ __ ] thing here, right? And so the whole thing I it it is totally clean. Look at all this. See that's clean, too. Look at that. Wow. Wow. Look at this. Move up. Look. Look. See that? The whole [ __ ] thing is clean. See that? Totally [ __ ] clean. I'm proud of you. Yeah. See? And And the the solution that I have for cleaning my stuff up is actually very simple. I just whenever I go downstairs, I just throw [ __ ] in the garbage. It's this crazy strategy I've been using and it works really well. It's crazy. Wow. To the precious items corner. You wouldn't just start hoarding completely useless garbage, would you? I do. And then one of the nests. A very special nest. How can you have a bad day when you get to retire to that? It has a channel down the middle to collect any excess Dr. Pepper which might seep out in the night. Cozy, you know, it looks bad or whatever. It doesn't matter. Who gives a Nothing wrong. It's good. I got a really nice We also need to add a very special guest. Uh-oh. Very delicate. The bird. The the black bird. Oh, it's a bird. It's a bird. Uhhuh. Oh, that's my That's my desk. Burnt myself on the candle. I was at a dead end wondering what to use instead of PC monitors. Yeah, I really don't know what to do. Is that a Oh, damn. Look at that thing. There's never been a bigger falloff in the entire evolutionary chain than birds. This thing used to be a dinosaur and now it's just [ __ ] And then out of absolutely nowhere, I had a brilliant idea. Magic mirrors. And thankfully, Bestarum had a couple I could use. That's like a Yeah. Seeping out of one of these mirrors, we need to represent some of the narrators in Asongold's story. Uhoh. The dreaded chat. They're about to experience something which chat dwellers haven't seen before. That's the chat light. This This is like one of the first [ __ ] places in like Dante's Inferno or something. Oh god. Twitch is going to be implementing reviews for improper banning soon. You are safely placed in a loophole as you continue to believe that this is your private stream. But the truth is that you have an openly sourced channel with an open source of communication. A simple VPN and any of my other accounts is all that's needed to come back and debate you once again. Once Twitch removes these guidelines, you won't be able to ban people just because they give you headache. You're in for a rude awakening. This was probably from LSO. Wait, they're coming through the screen. Wow is dead. The dictionary is racist. I got my medicine today. Shot in my arm. The nurse practitioner regarded that there are ghosts today and I'm more free now. What? What a pig. Okay, man. This stream fell off. Trump made Baldi legends. Sailor Moon. Delete this game. Please play WoW. I know it's Pride month, but can you stop being gay? Really? You're going to put that in there. You're going to When was when was I gay? There is a delicate balance to be struck here. We need to make sure we leave enough room for any potential boss battles which may happen in this room. But we also need to make sure the room reads as gold. 2 minutes ago. Shut up. With that in mind, yeah, that was a silly idea. I immediately regret that. Why did you make me do that, you idiot? Who's he talking to? Am I really tidying up alternate universe album's messy bedroom? The hell is going on? Oh, it gets better. Do you ever wonder where the famous Asmin Gold steak actually comes from? I did get steaks and everything. I went to the grocery store yesterday. This is the steaks. How fab is that? I don't know. Why would Why did you say that you wanted to eat my babies? I didn't I didn't know. I didn't say that. Like cuz I That was the rabbits. I said like, "All right." So basically like I didn't mean it like random junk we found on our travels. Mhm. That was the rabbits. It was different. Who lights all of the candles in the Souls games? Uh it's a thankless task really. Yeah. Wow. As choosing Minmaxing over his friend McConnell is his homie and always helped. This is from the Shadowlands release. This is from the Shadowlands release stream. That's crazy. And was always there for him in the end of the day. Wow. And finally, all of the unanswered banner peels to be dotted around the room. Almost there. Now we need the main man himself. The puppet master. The man behind the AI avatar. Also, Asmin Gold's editor is a Nazi. Don't listen to him. The editor. His reign of terror finally brought to an end. Chained to a wall for his crimes against humanity. This if I ate food. Holy. Do what you deserve. Oh my god. What is this? into where it tells you how to actually mathematically maximize your artifact power salad. I will die happen. Yes, if I eat a salad, I will die. And so I only eat uh candy and I eat kids on your run can al because your guild's trying to kill mythic and you can't raid on your I like how she's scared like like something bad's about to happen. Mhm. Right. Sneak into his house. Up to Wait, he's got this thing. Get out of there. Holy [ __ ] You sure you can do this? Don't get caught. Look, it's right there. He might eat you. A bird. Oh, he's Look at him. Be right there. Oh, that's whenever the roach crawled on me. We succeeded, but at what cost? Wait, what is this? What the [ __ ] Who the a What? What? Why does he have the wrong head? Yeah, it does. Wrong bloody head. That bird only had one job. He cut off Tech's head. Sorry, I meant to ask. Are you all right with me doing this? Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Oh my god. Yeah, sure. Yeah, dude. [ __ ] dude. Yeah. Yeah. Just pop that on there. Look at this little cutie. Oh my [ __ ] god. Drill a hole for the magnet. You never know when you'll want to remove and play with little Asmin. Oh [ __ ] This is just Bro, this is Let me see. Do I look like that? Let me Let me see. I I'll go back. Let me Let me Let me get out. I was about to say zoom out, but I could just simply move farther away from my camera. Okay. So, what does it look like? It looks like this. [ __ ] Give me a second. I have like a [ __ ] my I I ran the wheel of my [ __ ] thing over my goddamn hoodie. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. God damn it. Sorry. I'm a [ __ ] Okay, I got it. All right, never mind. Okay, so what does it look like? Looks like that. Okay. Like that. What do y'all think? Is that good? Is that close? Is it one to one? Yeah, same picture. Little Asmin boss isn't the only contender in this arena. We also have the player character. What's this? Is that one of the many mighty heroes from Bestarum? Let's hope he knows what he's doing. I got destroyed like a common ghoul. Oh no. Uh-huh. No chance. Yeah, that's like that. That's the guy at the beginning of Dark Souls. Man, not a good day to be me, huh? Oh my [ __ ] god. Yeah. I don't know what that was about. Anyway, let's get this painted. Mhm. Oh my god. Give me a minute. I got to use the bathroom before this. Oh my phase two. Yeah, I guess so. That was like after I got banned for like the 10th time, right? Obviously. I'll be right back. All right, calm down. Relax. So now he's painting the [ __ ] Okay. Okay. Yo, Asen, are you in the basement? If I draw you a unicorn, can I get unbanned? Unborn. Enjoying myself. You're just a big baby. Stop crying cuz you suck. I don't remember. Probably my adopted stepsister from Africa. Too many. It could be. Now, there's obviously something missing here. Something which makes this scene a little more unnerving than it needs to be. Right. Jokes's over. Now, contrary to popular belief, As Granted, he's lost one or two of them over the years, but that comes with age. This is a technique from the Grim Dark Compendium in which you drown the end of a cotton bud in paint and then you use the strands, wipe off the excess. Yeah. How the hell did that just Right. Right. Well, fine. I guess I guess we don't need the tissue anymore then. Why even have the tissue in the first place? Let me guess. Once it starts to dry, tear off some strands. Bit of PVA glue. Then the hair. I know that's a generous amount, but we can trim it later. Gently does it. A perfect. Nailed it. Now, while that dries, only joking. Oh my. Slide that hairline back a bit. Needs to be authentic. Now, while that dries, if you'd like to see less or more of this, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Like these lovely, fine fellows. Granted, they always vote for the wrong thing and they're relentless in their cyber bullying of me, but at least roster as I know, right? Actually, that's all they do. And they enjoy some extra content. There's a link in the description. So, if you want to join in, do a lot of herbs. I don't know, actually. Damn, they did just vote to kill me. Maybe I'll just end it here. I think I've accidentally made Bill Bailey. H same hair. It's not a boss without a health bar. Uh-oh. Wait, what the [ __ ] Oh my god. And the final touch. The microphone. What is this? April of 2025, it was reported that the most viewed streamer in the entire world based on watchtime hours was this man. Asmin. Asmin gold. Same as gold. This is all This was the height of our civilization. If we were to be judged solely on our ability to crown the champion of the digital age. Oh god. No. I fear we would never see the kingdom of heaven. No. This is not Listen, I live the lifestyle of a fiend and a degenerate. That's right. Nobody should watch my stream and say, "I want to be like this this animal." Yes. That's right. No mere mortal can live with Asmin Gold. Asmin Gold isn't fake. He's a hyperreal character. And some people dislike Asongold cuz they hate how he talks and hate how he reacts, hates how he thinks and hates, you know, the lifestyle that he lives. Look at his face. You can hate Asongold if you want to. You cannot hate Runescape. Thank you for watching. Let me know what you think. Leave a like. Do me a huge favor. Subscribe, please. Enormous. Thank you. Join the Patreon. Links in the description. Holy [ __ ] what a good video. Oh my god. Like, that was so funny. Here, let me link it to you guys. Give the guy a sub. I've never seen his content ever before. This is the first time I've seen this video. His name is Mini Axe Crafts. He only has 13,000 subscribers. As demon prince of Nurgle, this is amazing to make the great unclean one. Well, I'm not fad. Okay, talk about playing the algorithm, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I did see it. And uh how much does he drop on defeat? Uh-huh. The Q-tip hair is a really neat trick I've never seen before. Yeah, actually, it was a really good idea. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] Um, wow. This is [ __ ] funny. What a This is so good. It It's actually amazing. Let me just Where is the thing? Jesus. Oh my god. Jesus, man. That is That's really something special, man. It really is. Holy [ __ ] That's crazy. Link again, please. Yeah, sure. I'll link it to you guys again. Wow. Um, damn. That is really [ __ ] impressive. And uh, you got a phase, too. Yeah, apparently I do. I didn't even know that. This is the first time. And, uh, less than 72 hours until Crimson Desert. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it for sure. Absolutely. Only 14K subs. No. No. Oh, wait. He only Wait, he already gained 800. Wait, what? Oh my god, you guys. A thousand people subscribed. Jesus Christ. I mean, to be fair, I think it's deserved. I think this is amazing. The quality is great. I love it. Oh my [ __ ] god. It's good. So, uh yeah, this is amazing. And uh worth it. Yeah, this is awesome. I love it. And uh yeah, thanks a lot, man. I I I'm completely flattered. I'll certainly say that. And uh easiest sub of my life. Yeah, what a nice guy.