I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY CRIMES

[Music] Minecraft that's about much Minecraft I am in a sticky situation as soon as I hit start it's a war zone you don't understand if you didn't watch last live stream you don't understand what a sticky situation I am in it's just goo it's straight up slime I'm dipped in slime what do I do I got to warm up my fingers what is dream do before hit Minecraft probably this okay here's the plan okay I'm going to Sherlock Holmes this you know when he talks in slow motion this could not be late I'm going to hit a jab right in the spider's face I'm going to do a 360 to hit the uh creeper behind me then I will open my inventory feed Sven L open the door jump out Creeper explosion behind me run off to the Suns I think that's here we go it's l it's lagging I'm lagging I can't why am I lagging so bad 360 feed S I don't have food eat the spider eye 360 The Creeper went away what the what are the odds oh wait let's go let's go Z let's go yeah the creeper saw me and he just left he just left has that ever happened in history you just left you [ __ ] let's go creeper run from me I had food I'm so sorry I didn't see it I missed that part that was the only part I didn't do part of the plan a lot of people in the comments have been criticizing my sand castle but the thing is it's impenetrable from um fire which is why I have that like this got a beautiful spot here in case you're new we found this area it's really pretty got that giant uh Tower of s in your honor of course got some cool biomes over there got some Slender Man looking that's why is he running towards me he's running towards me for real I didn't even look at him now I don't I don't have any plan for this one there's no way I'm getting out of this one can I go inside if I okay here's a go inside you can't come in here one HP one HP you can't no don't open the door Jesus I'm trying to eat I'm looking at the ground zero deaths I am that good I am that that good send don't talk to him don't talk don't talk to him send he's not cool I have a shield okay I have a shield I could be able to do it I didn't even look at him can I sleep already wake up from this nightmare okay all right we're cool I think we're cool we should probably kill this guy do not blow up my sand castle now my house yes can I play the game can I play the game s now can I do that God damn so anyway let me get to do my tour or the house this is my house my bed it's my entry for creepers my storage my shield is a door I should probably make some armor yes I'll make armor I have a lot I can legs I already have golden ones [ __ ] now I look dumb make a hat make a shoe okay now I feel better anyway here we are fit the drip look at that for those of you wondering uh this is the real send the one and only let's check out this thing why are people saying fake Lena that's so rude what happened nothing happened there's nothing to report as I said before if my mom was here and I asking what happened last Minecraft nothing to say nothing happened it's a shame I got to find an armadillo yes that's a good side quest where can I find armadillos in the Des arinos is that a waterfall inside the cave so beautiful oh I'm drowning I'm drowning why am I drowning physics make no sense armadilla is in the savannah well lucky lucky Buy Smoky where this is the Savanah isn't it it's kind of small but maybe we can find some armadillos this is perfect so just going to be so happy is a savannah I think it is yes I have confirmed with myself when did they add the Savannah wood don't answer that I already know okay where's the amarillos I'm not going to hurt them just going to teach them a lesson hores yuran two and three wow oh wow lucky day for me I don't have a leash I'll come back for you guys at some point so cute oh almost burned yurgen sming down okay s armadillos but I find horses so still a win it's getting dark I better head back to Sand Castle Y and yurina yina what a beautiful name fix killed Felina ban that person who lied I don't this is s if SW is dead why is she here oh let me show you actually you should come with me come with me you're we're going to find the armadillos and we're going to make you an armor and you will be live forever come on jump in the boat whatever don't jump in the boat so I need the Savannah Biome oh she's swimming but she's so slow and pathetic it's kind of cute come on get in the boat get in the boat already get there you go that's my girl I need a brush too what the is that they have have brushes in Minecraft I forgot the bed again fing that's okay that's okay because I didn't actually want to sleep hello Piggies oh what is that a mama and her little baby little baby hey yes they didn't even see it they didn't even see it s you didn't see it right you're looking behind okay cool I I just jumped off to say hi to little little piggy baby s l and Pewdiepie Epic Adventures so that's actually Savannah that whole thing so maybe if we dock here we couldn't actually find armadillo living on this giant archipo I don't know what an that is but uh okay why are you sinking get off damn you're that fat huh I didn't know I've been feeding you too much s here's some more I want you fat I want you fat oh that' be such a good that be such a good Minecraft update fat update you can make anything fat imagine fat creeper I give these tips for free I I don't know why everyone's like ah resurrect Minecraft just drop the fat update and we're there all right where's the armadillos I've searched ah has to be Savannah Plains huh well me I'm up here to to get the armor you need to make a brush and copper stick I'm just going to um you don't know what you're talking about some mirrors are kind of getting dark or something ah at last chesty oh mending okay not bad I'll take it that's really good on a gold oh gold okay swle now you're ready to get in the boat again we have to ditch the boat boat get in the boat get in the boat get in The Boat Boat get in the boat get in the boat get in the boat fine I go without you stupid so dumb see how sick that was you could have joined me all right we're going to sleep good Excursion no armadillos yet but I'm sure we will where is Fen s she was right behind me oh God G stop renaming Sven it's not funny at all I'm actually scared for my life for her life you're swimming so pathetically come here get in the boat oh so worried so worried oh thank God found L found L okay get in the get in the house man I'm just going to sleep sleep ah sleep made my favorite pork chop why you die SW teleports next to that was seconding close they're in the water [ __ ] A don't tou friend are you okay if anything happens to send I quit the game forever how the spiders get in my impen sand Fortress all right so we got to find uh PL uh Savannah Plains I'll I'll bring I'll you know what I'll a little Pro tip for you guys you can bring your bed sleep anywhere let's try this direction I lost my spawn have you lost your Barnacles that's not how Minecraft works plus that's only an issue if I die what the hell did I just walk into huh all right fine I keep going Sheep by the water that is never good news oh Sheep by water must execute that felt good I didn't even see it oh looking for your child oh I'm sure he went somewhere no witness many cows I don't feel like killing them feels mean ah these are so pretty look at that oh spending a selfie time oh oh what the what the what are you it's a toad yes you're so cute yes get in the Bo in the boat yes oh yes frog frog sorry S I have a new best friend it's a frog her name is frog Lena yeah yeah yeah you follow us now now you're jealous you're so jealous get over it what do I do with you he makes frog noses that's so cool you can breed with slime what the why would I do that that's disgusting s Scout the this way okay I trust you I trust you and do what's best for frog Lina I feel like my boat is sinking again is the total fat oh I was totally sinking you are fat maybe they did frog will follow you if you have slime in your hand well do you see any slime nearby no no you don't oh uh frog I'm just going to leave you there little moment tiniest moment need to scout ahead cuz my dog don't do it oh who did thata is a murderer holy did you see that what the freak she's sniffing ass she ate the baby she's a psychopath what am I do she doesn't know that I know I have to kill send Chad I'm going to have to kill sendin otherwise she will kill me I think hey Selina what's up oh you want the food you're oh you're not hungry cuz you ate already what did you eat okay don't believe her don't believe her once she definitely had the snack a baby snack she ate the let's let's check if it's a fluke maybe it was a fluke if I just brushed this pig with a lily pad surely nothing else oh my God she's a killer she's a killer hey Sinda what's up I'm just going to I can't sleep she will kill me in my sleep I can't sleep what do I do just creating problems for myself for no reason this is oh she can't go in water oh okay okay okay she can't climb trees and go in water so if I sleep in the the trees I can be safe for tonight good idea I mean hey cool that you're here I'm lost I'm just going to build a temporary sleeping place oh shame I don't have enough materials for you s this could have been really cool otherwise for us to sleep together okay I sleep now good night we made it where's frog L uh she's waiting patiently for my return don't worry about it okay gamer instincts tell me this way I feel like my gamer instincts might be wrong your original base coordinates is that the sand castle coordinates we're talking oh I am far off minus 400 I can't see your name who wrote that but uh thank you in case you are correct if not I kill you I'll send SOA to assassination I haven't really made much progress think I'm dly dialing nah oh yes the cow's from earlier s then I wouldn't hurt the cow she keeps doing it she keeps murdering I can't let her get away with it is there anything sping I won't murder ah beautiful we're back what what the what are the ODS coordinates save him minus F right down that's crazy that's crazy lucky don't go yet uh I'm just going to check out the outside we're just going to egg their house make them no I missed that's crazy I had to walk for like an hour first time to find one and it's so close to where we are that's crazy that's actually crazy but I remember how hard it was to find one like what if you I can't imagine like just stumbling upon it kind of like I did and be like what the hell is this right there's something really good you get from it but I don't remember all right let's egg their windows so they know what the baby chicken Spa from oh yes from the egg like I'm never going to make it back to frog L I have no CL where she is no no no we we're I will I will go back for S I mean for L I lost [ __ ] this is too where is there you are Jesus I'm on edge man get in the boat why I thought dogs were good at swimming ah there it is there's the Tower of s okay s uh you can wait in the boat actually you can wait in the boat okay guys Now That We're Alone what the do we do what the do we do about s l being a killer what do we do I am worried for my life all right well no one no one said it but I I'm going to have to build a prison until she behave she's going to have to go to jail oh he hurry up there's enemies hurry up there's fin she ignores the enemies that should tell you enough get in get in turn I can come over here oh come here come here come here come here come here well then what am I doing nothing building you a little bed oh I forgot to make a window so she can breathe oh okay can you go away I need to sleep secure perimeter what the there's no one here oh I gasped I can't sleep because there's enemies nearby holy [ __ ] oh it's bad this bad he's got a weapon okay good good progress there again good progress good morning s I'm so sorry you have to stay in quarantine because of the dog virus here's some dirt to play with oh actually you can't play with dirt here's a feather oh to play with it's great training yes yes training training not to be a murderer I'm going to go and rescue toad L that is my main priority right now that is how I'm going to beat Minecraft frug will help kill the Ender Dragon maybe ooh what is this I don't recognize this what is this mud that's kind of sick I like it it sounds disgusting what the mangrove Roots mang this is wood oh this wood what the I missed so much in Minecraft there's a whole new biome oh oh it's pink on the inside that's so nice it's pink inside the man Groove uh Mojang you might want to check on the latest so F mod J there's long there's long songs Oh mang gr prop mang gr propag finally oh they added mang gr proper GS to the Minecraft oh that's what everyone wanted that's what the community has been asking for years when are you adding the mangr proper gouls I love it I love the mangr proper best update guys mang gr proper girls this is it we're living I'm living right now can I do something with this oh crafting table what else can I cook up with the man man seed this is so cool what else is in the mangar I hear her speak of the devil's mevel it's a White Frog l so there's different types of frogs hello so cute you want to get in the boat oh my God it's rare Red Frog hooray lucky day how are we going to bring this one home I think we're just going to have to build a canal all the way put in a bucket I can actually put frogs in a bucket oh you look so cool okay coordinates for rare frog L minus 9,000 you can't put frogs in bucket I knew it that would just be silly the canal of frog we're building it it might actually work out this might actually work out look at that perfect so now we just need you to jump okay frina going to kill the boat and then we're going to jump yes yes yes perfect perfect perfect no no no don't follow me don't follow me don't follow me follow me here you stinker what do you like oh sh jumped in my face that was like a FNAF moment right there never been so scared okay get in the boat come on dude come on dude [ __ ] yes win we're under attack for Lina oh they found us this is really bad this is my Canal I built it what am I getting stuck am I fat no impossible oh my God all right I'll come back for you then I don't built this canal and everything all right we're out think I need to make them Follow Me Oh Be hype I have The Mending yeah [ __ ] it why not oh why what did I do did I use mending instead of silk touch did I mix those up I don't think so that would be a noob mistake and I'm a Minecraft veteran that would mean I would just kill killed someone's house for no reason maybe do something productive maybe you shut the shut up have you thought of that productivity it's a video game you're living oxymoron ah sand castle at last so beautiful I had a boat this whole time why did no one tell me what's that in the water a random chicken in the water hello friend what brings you in water oh you're under attack let me save you baby zombie oh I saved your life you are most welcome you are safe with me get in the boat hooray what was that about not being productive I just made a new friend her name is chicken Lena that's right wait your name is not no no no you're with me now and your name is chicken yes another great time in Minecraft hello hello my prisoner don't be a party pooper stare at the Wall come on man it's not personal boat chicken boat chicken yes I think that's the name stop running away get in the boat yes boat chicken H got some time to kill so I think maybe I will expand the house a little bit do some more sand castling I think maybe like a tall ass Sand Castle or something I think I want to get rid of the the ceiling so I might just burn it down uh that will save me time I think there's a dog inside yeah but she has a fire resistance she's literally from hell all you sing that's fine okay I got the Str down now look at this so fast house will be done in no time it's got a cozy vibe to it I think the wall of bed is pretty sweet The Prisoner is pretty sweet I like it a lot I think it looks good it looks really good that looks good how am I going do the roof just Place sand obviously dummy yeah we'll do a quick Farm thank you someone responsible in the chat for the farm we'll just do like um a hole basically doesn't have to be big I don't think they've done anything to deserve a big hole this will be a nice hole I can't be too deep cuz then they die I forget they're so weak and dumb nice hole thanks I always appreciate a compliment on my hole come on I'm stuck in my own hole my own hole I'm in it I'm free uh let's put a fence around the hole and this is where we push them in we need something to lure them in the hole oh here chicken get the wheat hello chicken I need the number two I need it oh we have a chicken at home Perfect Two chicken that's all we need for our inbred Farm can you make it through here without dying it's kind of tricky come see Comey I have not said that in a while Comey Comey watch out for the whole chicken why would you why would you warn the chicken get out of here I'm saving this chicken's life it's about to get dark exactly chicken I'm going to give you a beautiful life I promise you're going to live good chicken trust me trust me yes look look there's another chicken we treat them so well okay okay yes in the hole in the hole he's in the get in the [Laughter] hole yes idiot I want to spit it was my meme I spit all over my screen get in the hole get in the hole get in the hole get in the hole the monsters are coming get in the [ __ ] hole okay that's good enough is it good enough I don't want zombies down there okay okay yes okay I will sleep sleep okay hello little chickens hello hello chicken can I yes they can jump that was close put a ladder they can't use it I don't know if I believe that oh perfect perfect that's all I needed don't need holes then we'll just have a ladder for me cuz I'm smart and I know how to use my hands you guys are dumb all right cool let's remove the fence then we don't need the fence perfect okay uh then we will have another hole here what do cows eat milk un ironically I don't know wheat that's a silly everyone knows cows eat milk thank you Turtles everywhere in this place God damn it it's an infestation he dropped wheat ah seaweed what an idiot it's not murderer if they're annoying you and he was what the one died how did he escape where is it what this has never happened I'm going to have to make this hole deeper now you did this this is what happens anytime anyone survives the hole gets deeper that's up you know because that one chicken survived I'm going to have to breed that chicken with his child Mojang did that not me we're so far away from home dude I'm I going to transport these chickens how do I get to Mainland find a bunch of eggs I can oh yeah I did get five eggs I could just do that yeah I think I'll just murder you no no Witnesses no witness 10% chance of Spawn that's very low Why did no one tell me I'm really this up 5x 10% chance equals 50% chance you're good that's math right there what this is just a scouting Mission now we know where they are just got to find a way to bring them back I hate to say this I hate to say I hate to say this as if this playthrough could not get any worse I think I have to build a really really long bridge it is the only you did this I'm going to have to build a long oh it's a deck actually it's not a bridge it's a long deck my long deck in fact need a lot of wood for my long deck I'll burn the bridge after actually once the deed is done we will have to destroy it but it's on water how it burns Scott Scott don't be silid I'm going to build it above the water so I think it's over there I need to connect it's going to be a long I hate doing this I hate doing this maybe from the Water is easier we have to build the bridge oh feel sick ah this is all just so I can have animals in my farm by the way so dumb there's no animals in my area there's no hot a animals in my area within 5 miles oh there we go there's a CH coal oh wheat that's actually I'm alive I deserve to live coming in clutch zero deaths this is perfect that solves uh one of our issues though the wheat problem I didn't have any Wheat now once we find the cows we can learn them across cross the bridge of bridge of no return Bridge of Eternal suffering I don't know what to call it really all right we will return okay all right so someone said there's 100% chance for the eggs no chicken no chicken no chicken chicken no chicken hello fellow friends I'm holding your uncle your father your relative your son either way he was he's going to feed me make me stronger I will become better and I'll gain more of you I eat them all in front of you it gives me great joy now you will breede you will do as I say yes excellent I will return okay now we have the wheat we have the hole we have the bridge I mean deck we can do this I got to fix the little bumps on it though the deck bumps oh I hear sheep of course they're near water I knew it yes fellow sheeps I have been sent I have been sent from far away far away there's a sheep Topia just across the river that's great I come from across the river friends follow me yes you will live gloriously deliciously I will feed you no don't think about it don't think about about it that's right they're like sheeps they follow me mindlessly what idiot sheeps do not push it's a dangerous it's a dangerous road yes one in a line very good very good one at a time yes don't push don't push wait a new life awaits you a new happier life you won't have to worry about where to sleep where to it will all be provided yes yes you made it across you made it across welcome to your glorious new land your glorious new home follow me just this way just a little more just a little more yes just here do I have to push them down go in hole one two light light little nudge light little nudge a loving push a push of Love there it is beautiful okay so now you're trapped here forever what do I feed feed them wheat is that what they want oh they want wheat I didn't know that okay good good breed breed I should probably make a wheat farm then really quick I I hate having to actually play the game but I should probably make a wheat farm it's the easiest is just if I built with dirt right okay Sun is setting oh raining but good thing I have no ceiling in my beautiful house all right let's check on my Farms it's barely grown at all need wheat faster what do you do with the fire chart you want still okay that will actually do for now then cuz I I have to do this I have to burn the bridge I missed I missed are you kidding me burn burn burn burn burn come on Burn yes yes yes yes burn is it burning is the bridge burning what the what the the bridge lives it's on water it's not touching the water it's not touching it look I can I can I can do I can breathe through the bridge then it's not touching all right we build it up this High then this bridge better burn is that aita no what the is that what is that what the it's a cat dog it's a cat dog look at me what the are you what is he I need it I have the chicken that's my only chicken aita dog aita dog aita dog don't go hey hey hey weita dog I here yes weita dog get in the boat boom made a boat for you Lita dog yes Mita dog dog we're going home dog we're going to live so happily you and I don't mind the bridge dog uh now I don't have anything to give you so I can't make you oh I have bones I have bones wait wait wait wait I can't show aita dog cuz then she's going to judge me cuz she doesn't know the full context this is so complicated Sven do not make a freaking sound do not make sound and I will feed you one bone no stand don't just don't don't ruin this for me okay I have two bones one yes that's all it took get out of the water you silly oh got to push you all right I got to sleep don't tell anyone that you're here the holes are doing good do not do not mess this up for me I already have holes I don't need another hole don't this up for me bro I'm on your side I mean we're I have to end it there I have to end it there all right good progress I come in clutch with the one HP every time cuz I'm a Minecraft professional I saw my health I calculated the risk I ran all the algorithms and equations in my mind zero death playr today feels good have a joyous day blessed days goodbye you ever heard of a man in the middle attack what's that man in the middle doing that get out basically any bozo can set up a Wi-Fi no but for real I guess like if you're at a Starbucks and it actually says Starbucks free Wi-Fi there's nothing to determine if it actually is or not it could just be someone doing a man in the middle attack this is actually more common than you think they can access your banking details social media passwords and it has led to devastating consequences for 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it's all good no hard feeling no hard feelings oh hell no man all right let's get on with