Max came back to Crimson Desert?! 🔴Full Stream🔴 (3-24)

Transcending history and the world. A tale of dudes and souls eternally retold. We all need to shine on to see how far we've come on our journey. Ever to go searching for our star deep in the night in my heart for that special life to show me with love to show me with power to Got to get the edge of car to carry on Yeah. I absolutely refuse to play Crimson Desert. The stage of history. Welcome back to the of history. Welcome back to the stage of history. No, I refuse. People are saying, "Why is he playing it?" No, no, no. Listen, I refuse to play Crimson Desert after that terrible demo, after the bad reviews, after all the weirdness. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not going to play it. The stage of history. I'm a pirate. Oh. How are you? Fine. Thanks. Welcome back to the stage of history. So, I don't know you. I don't know you either, weirdo. That's polite ass game. Where in the hell? Um, so yeah, I mean, a game so bad it's good. A game so good it's bad. I don't know. Um, here's the funny thing. Uh, and I have to like break things down. Why? So, I established based on like an hour play session of this game um last summer that the controls were bad, the campaign lacked focus. The mechanics lacked focus. It just wasn't very fun. But that was also a really specific demo that they had us play, you know, like a really specific demo. Um, and it was like hard to get a grasp of what the hell is this [ __ ] Like what is this? Last summer. Yeah. All right, mate. Long story short, game comes out and pretty much gets the exact kind of reviews I was expecting. Like this might be for some people like Dragons Dogma fans. Think maybe like Dragon's Dogma fans really really are going to love this [ __ ] But here's the problem. Even I wasn't really a Dragons Dogma fan. I didn't I I played the first one and I enjoyed it to a degree. The second one was just not it for me. Um was not it. So yeah, I felt like maybe those just open world sandboxy games like I need reasons and mechanics and mechanics to tie into those reasons and all that kind of stuff. So I pretty much was held steady. Yeah, this is just not for me. Um, it's just not for me. And then I started seeing people playing it, streamers that I know, and they're all laughing and stuff, and it's like, okay. Um, I see them also bewildered and confused the exact same ways that I was bewildered and confused when I was playing it. Things just don't make any sense. You know, what the hell's going on? There's no enemy variety. There's no this. There's no that. Like, yeah. Yeah. So I'm like I wonder I'm I'm kind of wonder. And then we fire it up with your video games and believe it or not end up having a lot of fun. Which leads us to today. I am wondering if this game can still captivate me in a one-on-one situation and not a local friend group situation. You know what I mean? I'm kind of morbidly curious because the story is balls. The characters suck. Um, but I was kind of we were kind of addicted to learning these, right? We were sort of addicted to learning all of this stuff and getting all of these things because what's in here is actually pretty crazy. like all these I think these moves um all this stuff that they're setting up over here is pretty crazy, man. Like this stuff is really cool. So yeah, you know, even the lead marketing of the the game in the west was like, don't think of it like a story game. Think of it like an open like an open action sandbox game. And I'm like, that is very smart, right? Instead of trying to convince us that Cliff, almost said Clive, instead of trying to convince us that Cliff is an endearing character with a heartfelt story that you should give a [ __ ] about and his adventure will rend you a sunder by the end. Um, the lead marketing guy is like, nah. Uh, it's a goofy game with a lot of wacky [ __ ] you can do in it. Go have fun. And I feel like from that perspective, maybe it is, maybe it is, maybe it is pretty fun because to be real, the last few things we did when we were with friends was fun. It was stupid. It was goofy. It was kind of engaging. More importantly, it was funny. like like a Just Cause game, right? And even I haven't even played many Just Cause games, but it's kind of like that where it's just like the world is at your fingertips. Here's all this wacky [ __ ] you know? There's a bunch of wacky stuff. So, yeah, the moral of the story here is that I like being wrong sometimes. I think it's more surprising that way. You know what I mean? I feel like the majority of people and it's almost held as a character assassination if your mind can be changed now where it's like oh they said this person said one thing and then they flipped their story later on like your convictions can never be changed or altered. And to me that's weird that like you can't put yourself in the shoes of somebody else that may be having fun with something or be in their situation and kind of see it from their perspective. Um, and yeah, I I tried I I definitely approached this from the perspective of obviously myself based on what I played and not having a great time with it to the point where, you know, but I wonder I wonder I'm seeing all these other people having fun. I wonder you did this with Pragmata. Admittedly, I mean I am admittedly wrong. Admittedly, if the sum of this game's parts is that all these other things that it suck and it lacks cohesion, but somehow it just ends up being fun, that's kind of cool. You know, I think that's actually sort of neat that it's a goofy ass game with a goofy ass experience that doesn't really feel like it ties anything together in meaningful ways. Sure, it sort of feels that way so far, but if you play it and then it's fun, then it's fun. I don't know what to tell you. 2026 Max is wrong, dude. I've been I've been doing this for years, chat, as a reminder. Um, just historically, how has my mind been changed in the past? I hated Dragon Ball. Could not stand Dragon Ball Fighters after the first month, dude. It bugged the hell out of me. It was so basic. And I was like, this game was really enjoyable for a bit and then it fell off hard. And then that greatly changes a couple years later when they really start to make adjustments to the game. So, it's like, dang, they had characters I they had a character that I like or a couple characters that I really get into. The mechanics change and I'm like, and also the net code changes. A lot of the things that were making me not really vibe with this, I suddenly vibe with it. Damn, this is really cool. Also, Ultimate Marvel 3 was a game I kind of hated. Um, in the 2013, 2014 era, this game bugged me. Uh, I Xactor really pissed me off. The top tier characters really upset me. However, I come back to it later with better net code options and what happens? Oh, it's fun because I realize that my [ __ ] ass has barely ever played this game without its terrible delaybased net code. And when I actually get to play it in a in an a situation where that isn't really compromised, it's actually a lot of fun. And I'm like, "Huh, wow. Okay. Something was compromising my ability to find the fun. You know, you have to go back and beat Wukong. No, no, no. I gave the game three chances. I'm good. I don't know. Cuz Wukong is the example of it going the other way where it's like I really tried to lean in. Like I wanted to stop after two streams, but I'm like maybe this gets a lot better and it it's fine. It's just my mind. What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad when I'm wrong when I don't give something maybe enough time. I I kind of really enjoy being surprised by things because we are people and sometimes we're just not going to vibe with something or things will just feel weird or off and it's just like, yeah, I'm just not into this. Um, if I'm I what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be a person where that entirely can be a thing that establishes the way that is and that can't be changed. Like I like when my mind is changed about stuff. Alien Isolation, great example. Freaking Alien Isolation, bro. Um, that game sucked when it came out. I'm like, this game's not good. I maybe some people like it. I don't like it. And I came back to it and ended up loving it. It's like, wow. Okay, cool. Either way, um I feel like that's where I'm at right now, but I don't know. I actually do not have a fullborn uh fullborn conclusion. All I'm saying is that I like it when I'm wrong about something because that surprise of me having something in my head be one way and all of a sudden it's another is really neat. It's like fascinating that the game manages to grab you despite it all, you know, despite all of the weird [ __ ] I was telling people you could end up liking it and you got the hate the whole time. Yeah. I mean, if there's one thing um if there's one thing that's funny, people will say that like, "Oh, this person will never like something and then you end up liking it." And I'm not here to be unpredictable or contrarian. I don't want to be that. It's that sometimes things just don't hit and then all of a sudden it might. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. Either way, I'm going to run around a bit and kind of do the things that I was really enjoying with the dudes the other day and just see what's going on. Um because yeah, we had fun. We ended up having quite a bit of fun. Yeah. What I'm trying to say, chat, is that don't let specifically the opinions of others, even myself, um tell you what you should feel. I can only represent myself. In fact, I don't if you guys catch me doing this. I usually don't I usually say things from my perspective most of the time unless we're specifically talking about a thing that that aims at like so what is the audience feeling regarding what's happening with this game. Are they happy? Are they sad? Like we try to get a vibe check on stuff like that. But when it comes to direct impressions that are coming from myself, I don't like my my perspective to be my chat's perspective, to be somebody else's perspective to convince you guys that it's changing. I don't like that. I don't like telling you how you should live. I don't like telling you what you should do. Sometimes I will tell you you should support this, but should you be buying it? Should you have to do this? Should you have to do that? Like, no, I don't do that. Um, even when it comes to sponsors, it's like I'll tell you where to go get it if you like it. But still, um, yeah, I feel like this game found its audience. It's doing well. Sold like 3 million copies, found its audience, and a lot of people will line up with the things that I like, which is why I even have an audience. So, all I'm saying is that don't let that be the finality of it. Like, just don't. I It sort of taught me a character lesson about myself, too. Does this mean that what I feel about certain things like you Max you could have given uh you could have played uh damn a Fire Emblem game. Why aren't you playing Fire Emblem? You will love it. And I was like h I don't know. I don't know if I'm down for everything. Um I think it also helps that we played it after the patches. Um, isn't this a sponsored stream though? No, you would know. No, it's not. Um, we played it after patches where it was rough. And ever since those patches, I wasn't remember what I said at the end of that first session. I was like, you know what? The controls in this are a little funky, but they're like a seven out of 10. It's like a seven out of 10. They're not like that bad. Um, and I'm like, I remember them being way worse. I remember I remember [ __ ] being much worse. And apparently that was one of the things that changed. Like things had gone through adjustment literally in the 24 hours leading up to us playing it the first time on stream and there was changes and then a bunch of other quality of life things had gone through the game. Things that even I complained about like a year ago already changed. So it's like, oh, okay. So, if this does make it into a video of some kind, am I full committing? What I'm trying to say is that I am full committing to Crimson Desert like it's a life partner. I am going to play it uh approximately 12 hours of the game. Your video games entirely will become dedicated Crimson Desert streamers. Uh we all plan on 100%ing the game. Every grasshopper, every NPC, every blade of grass, every fly will be caught. Every enemy will be killed. That's what we're going to do. We're going to treat it like it's a Destiny streamer, you know? We're just going to we're going to grind this [ __ ] out. I have no intention of doing that. I want to tell you every dog every dog relationship maxim maxed out. Here's what's funny. I say all this and at the end of this session, I can be like, "Yeah, let's fire up Neo3. I'm kind of bored." Right? But it doesn't it doesn't change the fact that in the span of time that we played it, like the five, six hours that we played it, legit fun. We had legit fun. And I I don't want to refund it because of that. Like I wouldn't want to. I just think it's like you think it's worth buying or waiting. I don't know. I haven't played the whole thing, man. Like I am I I think this game is honestly a game that even if people love this [ __ ] even if they are in love with this game, I don't even think they can emphatically and I would say I don't even think they would be able to put their full recommendation behind it. I really don't because there's so many things that are like wrong and bad and then some things that are like really funny and cool that some people will find super valuable. It's like me. Like I I can't recommend you buy Kazan, man. But holy [ __ ] that game's like a game of the year for me. Like I I use Kazan as an example because many parts of Kazan are just like average. They're fine. And there's one part of it that's so good and I just love that [ __ ] It's like it's like a Sura's wrath, dude. So, yeah, sometimes we just like sometimes certain things hit. Can't explain why. And I do think in this game at least, the fact that every area I've gone to and weird [ __ ] happens and I'm just engaging with a billion different gameplay mechanics and stuff like that, some good, some bad. Uh, and then fighting enemies in weird funky ways has been fun. So, I want to do more of that and I want to unlock more of it to see what it more of it's like. I can't help I can't help but explain why we feel this way, dude. I can't help it. Number one, because I haven't beaten it yet. So, either way, that's my like my spiel at the end of this Crimson Desert thing is that my mind was made up based on a a year year long ago demo that I played and it was like I went from being a nine out of 10 excited to a five out of 10 excited and I was like maybe it'll be a lot better by the time it comes out. Um, and by the time it came out, you know, and when I played it, it it did get a bit better. But a lot of the things that were obviously very weird are still weird. Again, even if you love this [ __ ] you will not you will not fully recommend this to anybody at like a full price. There's no way anybody can fully recommend this [ __ ] But I want to run around and find more. Is there any Zuna drop in this game? Can I zuna drop [ __ ] like off of a building? Yes. Oh my god. Of course there is. I need to find a uh I need to ransack somebody's house and find a bed. Check the skill list. Hold up. I need to ransack somebody's house and find a bed. Get up. Get up. Okay. A sec. Can I open this? Y'all got big huts. I need to like jump into somebody's house and take a nap. Not the zoom button. Where the hell is the map button? There we go. Update the latest patch. Am I not on the latest patch? Are there beds everywhere in the latest patch? Mystery items. saying about those controls. I was saying the bed patch can teleport. I just want a bed. Excuse me, folks. LB. Why LB again? What's that mystery one, chat? Do I need to level up my sex charm? Oh, got to get closer. Greet or shop. Right. But what's the thing below it? LB for mystery. I've got some new wares that Make sure you take a look. A shovel. Learning in progress. I learned about a rake. I learned about hose. There's a broom. A pickaxe. That might be valuable. I've kept it for my most valued customers. Uh, mallet. Oh my god. Am I Oh, that's Am I in debt again? Jesus god. Holding the options button for the quick menu. Ah, okay. I've got plenty of fine goods. Perform a shorten in this game. I keep seeing people posting cool [ __ ] Okay, that's why I'm here right now. Oh, very weird. DLSS 4.5 got its own ray recon. What do I need to do? Uh like update my driver. Such peculiar antlers on that deer. That's a That's a a donkey. That's literally an ass. Yeah, I refuse to play Crimson Desert, dude. After what I played, you know, I it's just I refuse to play Crimson Desert. This is This is a cow. That bird had very long legs. Bro, what are people saying in this game? What the hell? That guy just say that bird had long legs. He was unusually attractive for a fishman. Hello, free bed. I cannot believe I can just sleep in somebody else's bed and no one will stop me. Wow, that is really messed up in here. Uh 12 hours it'll be. Check the skill list. Ah, yes, the skill list. You've rested enough. Uh, maybe we could drop it to 1440p and up um the ray reconstruction. I don't know. Can I steal things in this people's house basket? I am illuminating this goddamn room. These things aren't going to be worth anything, man. You need a mask to steal. What do you think I'm wearing? What do you think I am vetting? Everything's so orange. I'm going to take an apple. Steal the apple, bro. So goddamn bright. You look like a Revolutionary War ninja. Well, that is how the Revolutionary War was was won uh when the Shinobi showed up. Did you goats do this? Bad goats. Can I tackle a goat? Cannot. All right, that's it. Where's my dang horse? This game got a six on IGN. Accurate. This game got an eight on GameSpot. Accurate. This game got a 10 out of 10 from some other publisher. Accurate. All accurate. Can I not go this way? No, we can't. Oh my god. But I want to go up there, dude. Dude, giddy up. Go. I've already looted this pirate village. I want to go to the red rock area. Yeah, take me. This game's single player. This game was a multiplayer game made into a single player game. I found that out. Yeah, apparently this was a uh beginning of development. This was an MMO. Mountain of Frozen Souls. Neat. You're playing with HDR. I have HDR glasses. Dismount. Why? Why? God, why? Uh skills. What do I got? Abyss artifact times one. I think I just want to lean all into like punch grappling. Unarmed combat. Yeah. The leg sweep, the scissor takedown. Do I have that? Blind kick. Proficiency. Meteor kick. The hell is this? Wow. Pump kick. Yeah, we got that. Drop kick, right? Okay. The clothes line's pretty neat. Kenny spent all of our money on the body slam. Observe the skill action. An action to learn it. Oh, I'm so debating whether or not I want to buy this [ __ ] or not. Dude, marksmanship seems boring AF. What is all this red stuff? Oh, that's this gimmick. Oh, okay. Left icons with swords and stuff, right? This is like sword combat. What the hell is this [ __ ] Stamina in general. Okay. Tears of the kingdom stuff. It is, but it's like significantly really interesting abilities, right? Like what they give the character to do is actually mad cool. It's all the nature [ __ ] Okay. What's the fist on the left side? This one. It's drop kick. Oh yeah. How do I go down on the left side? Uh, [ __ ] sword, right? You see that? It's not changing. Um, why Mouse, that's cheating. Mouse is cheating. No, no, no. The mouse is cheating, chat. Up and down does this. This does zoom. This does this. The D-pad does this. Close really closes it. Press Y. Ah. That did not do that before. Switch weapon. Am I actively chain changing what I have equipped? I have no interest in playing this game, dude. I have absolutely none. I have no intention of playing Crimson Desert and I have zero interest in it. What does the fist stuff do? Just for the video. Oh, weird. what am I doing to my horse? Very nice. Don't do that again to the horse. Unarmed combat. Oh man, I'm debating whether or not I want to spend this [ __ ] here, dude. I'm debating grappling. You get lariat follow-ups. Yeah, we know we did this one. That's neat. That is neat. the backhang. Okay. Right. Press YB during a stab to take an enemy hostage. What the [ __ ] I don't think I've done this at all yet. It has been done. All right, I'm I maxed out grappling. I literally maxed that [ __ ] out. Not enough mats. This artifact times one. Um [ __ ] Well, hold up. Was there not a big question mark? Uh, why? I swear I swear to God we had My god, this thing sucks. I swear to God there was a um a fast travel, right? Like we unlocked a fast travel somewhere. Grindstone. Click R3. Thank you for that. Thank you, horse. They use your blinding flash to reveal the fast travel. go to all on the menu. All Okay, this [ __ ] should be close. Like, it wasn't that Oh, no, no, no. Just go there. Like, fast travel to it. teleport. Going to enter Tron. Exactly what I wanted. Actually, exactly what I wanted. Does this game have too many mechanics? Does this game have too many mechanics or not enough mechanics? A good question. Scared these raccoons. Who's Rod? Quarantine Lodge. Hey, sup? what you got? Literally nothing. Stamina is a real huge pain in the ass in this game. That's for sure. Like a huge pain in the ass. This [ __ ] is boring. I know. You should go. You specifically, you should leave. Don't die too easily. You guys never liked your kind. No, you guys had this all wrong. Thank you to offer. Ready to be butchered? No. Stepped in it this time, didn't you? Hell was that? I'll cut you down to God. Okay. Oh, wow. I'm trying out stuff here, man. Just trying. How do I get to um I literally do not know how to get to Oh my god, he went back to his sword. I am I am severely confused how I stay in combat mode. Like literally I press left. Is it hold down left or some [ __ ] Yeah, my fists are there. I want to not pull out the sword, man. Can you stop to select hands? There we go. Jesus. Okay, Keeps pulling the goddamn sword out. I should loot these [ __ ] Was this not where I fought them? The bodies disappear that quickly? Yeah, I get it. We got to highlight the gloves. I just did it and it's working. Those kung fu. All your special moves work on other weapons. What? Impossible. If the bodies don't have loot, they just disappear. That's helpful, I guess. I guess that's helpful. I'm just trying to get up this goddamn mountain, dude. I'm going to find a way. Bandidos, you saw nothing. You legit saw nothing. You guys are something. How do I do the double slam? Oh my god, that isn't You can't conquer me. Cool. Good. Cool. Two uh two four into one three. What? What was the input again? Wait, did I s watch the loot disappear? Your stamina's at seven and it's still a situation. Berserk shield or Becker shield. I don't know if that's any better than what I got. Wait, it's like a sword. A tater potato. Boil them. Mash them. Dude, there's meat right there. Come on. Tough meat. Uh, let's go back to skills. Let me see if I can figure out what this input was that I messed up on. Unarmed combat. Grappling. Press YB or A to promate grapple. Further investigate the grappling ability. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this one was press YB during a stab. During a stab. Press AX during a lariat to perform multiple lariats of your enemy. So I just have to mash it. I just have to mash it. I thought I had to mash it. Just a follow-up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, stab is uh this. Yeah. And then I have to press this into that. So you're telling me if I press this into that I like can grab. No. What the [ __ ] R1 in triangle. How do I cancel it? Level three stab in midair is amazing movement wise. Wait, you're telling me I can charge the [ __ ] in midair? You grab after the stab. I see. Um, okay. Nothing happened. Level three unlock. Oh, I need to unlock it. Okay. You You tell me something and I want to do it. Wait, my brain works. Maybe we should What? You really are unhorseable in some areas. Literally unhorseable. Pollen vision. Yes. Channeling the power of Zerek. My character looks like he's messed up. Look like he's leaning too far into this. Maybe it's just that steep. Need goat. Give goat chat. I want to see something cool up here. That's it. Nothing's cool up here. We'll just turn it off. You know, following the road is the fastest way. Is it? Is it really? Is it the fastest way? Here's the thing, chat. You get all this stuff, all these ridges and mountains and stuff like that, and there's just not much reason for it. It's closer to like, oh, hi. Wow, I found something. Holy [ __ ] that's crazy. I was bitching and then I literally found something. Oh god, I didn't mean to do that. Sorry. I just want to like try to stab. There it is. That that that command just is so weird. I'm guessing you guys vanish cuz you had nothing. Quit squirming, bros. Man, how can I do this? He just disappears into loot. Bird meat. Bird meat. Delicious bird meat. That's crazy that I was just bitching and I started running into these Reed guys, you know? I was literally just bitching. Literally. I can't see [ __ ] Captain Hey man. My [ __ ] ass pressed R3 like seven times. Nothing. Let's going to do this [ __ ] manually. Fly you dumb ass. The control this game sucks. Oh boy, not enough spirit. No, you cannot. If you're already midair, you have to like you can't do the triple jump. You can only do it after like a regular jump. I can't like engage it again here or some [ __ ] All right. hi. Is this a fort? This a fjord? You know what would make this game better for everybody? Smell of vision and allergies, right? If this game gave you allergies, it'd be more immersive. Who be that? Silent alarm. Thank you. Activated. Stop anything [ __ ] up here. Oh my god. Escape. Try blinding Flash to find stuff. I don't see [ __ ] got to be up high. Ah, okay. You uh conveniently left that out. I see a bunch of [ __ ] over here, buddy. I don't see [ __ ] Still don't see [ __ ] What's this supposed to do? We ain't found [ __ ] Lantern light flash. Those white blurs. You telling me this is something right here? I can't tell if that is on the mountain or did do I interact with it in some way, chat? Like, I'm pressing LB right now. Am I legit interacting with it? Just go there, right? This a good guy camp or a bad guy camp? Either way, it's getting liberated. I almost yanked a bird. Dude, my [ __ ] ass would just be in this thing sneezing. I was about to kill you, but it seems you are friendly. Ask a question. I what the I'm just trying to engage. I've trained for this, bro. Got a mask on. I'm just trying to I'm just trying to pull up my lamp. Where's my lamp, my lady? What's on the D-pad? Am I pointing? [ __ ] how the [ __ ] is Is my [ __ ] ass pointing equipped? Jesus Christ. There we go. Sweet. All right, let's go talk to some people now. I have to engage conversational mode. Okay. Engaging conversation with humans. Observing humans. Close your eyes. Hello. Hello. Hello. Don't touch me. Hello. Yeah. Yeah. Hail and all that shine. Is there any man like Marshall Middler in this world? Why always guys talk about B Midler? On my shield and my chest swells reprise. I use this I think it's very unfair that you guys are having so much fun in there without me. Very unfair. I did get a new sword, did I not? Is it any good? way to compare or contrast. Okay. Well, the attack speed's a little bit better. None of this ended up being interesting. What if I go in there and like [ __ ] [ __ ] up? Is this actually doing something? It's not. Can't just light [ __ ] on fire, dude. Yes, you can, chat. You're You're dreaming and you think your dreams are reality. You're living in a fictional world of fantasy and not reality. Okay, it's like it's your final fantasy right now. Nothing is happening. I don't. You guys are literally drunk and high and your drunk and high stuper thinks it gives you power, but it doesn't. Silent alarm. After killing enemies, look for great X's on your mini map. That's where their loot is. Okay, thanks. Silent alarm. Um, assassin bot. Thank you. You want good traversal? Invest in the first red skills, sub skills, and upgrade stamina to 200. About two or three points. Yeah, but what about like wrestling moves? These guys are doing [ __ ] I'm just going to walk in. I'm just going to walk in. like I own the place. They'll be cool with this, right? Those are good guys. Exactly. Hi, gents. Maybe if I like look at you learning grindstone. What do you want? How long till the shift's over? Yeah. Consider yourself well met. Man, I don't want to do the main quest. I want to run out and find adventure and intrigue. Yeah, man. Oops. Oops. It's like this and then that. Okay. Everything's hard to do. Um, main quests are pretty sick. No. No, they're not. No. Oh, dear. No. No. No. No. They are not sick. No. Sweet summer child. Why do you keep playing this if you're just going to [ __ ] on it non-stop? Excuse me. I absolutely refuse to play Crimson Desert. You are in Ow. Pointy [ __ ] You're in the wrong stream. I want to leave, but this place is too spiky. Slope, you big stupid. How many times am I going to have to press this button? Force bomb. Holy [ __ ] man. I'm wrestling these controls. Did we get access to the pirate ship? Dude, I'm wearing the pirate hat. What do you think? Holy [ __ ] Got it. It has worked. doll. You can unlock double jump for more mobility. Right. I'm going to run out of space juice really fast on this one. a [ __ ] trees bot. Just a big ass mountain. It's just a big ass mountain. Red bad. No bueno. Knowledge acquired or bueno. Bleed bandit camp. Uhoh. No bueno. No. Bueno. Trying to crouch. All right. Well, you know, should be happening. Do your best, [ __ ] Am I not the most disguised person of all time and you guys are just finding me? Holy [ __ ] Oh god. Oh god. That guy really [ __ ] hurts. Being shot at with arrows. Terrible. I'm being shot again by arrows. Charging star. Quiet. Oh my god. That's right. Stamina and normal combat. This guy is a big piece of [ __ ] He's ruining all my fun. You're legit ruining all my fun, dude. Nice. That's so cool. Okay, I'm really I'm wrangling these goddamn controls right now. Let's go. He has died. Big doinks. Cool. Okay. Trying to do weird things. Jesus Christ, man. Come back here. There's some shiny stuff. I want the giant swing you. There we go. Whoop. Still breathing. I'll fix that. I'm going to [ __ ] all you the body splash is lame. It's the you'll remember. Why I've switched targets? I didn't mean to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stamina. Stamina. What? What the [ __ ] ass? Where this guy? It's hard to tell like when their life bar is gone. I'm still doing combo moves against these [ __ ] and they just like absorb it all. There is no way you're still alive. And now he's died. We're not dead. gray screen flashes like GTA when they've died. What's GTA adamantium bones? Yeah, I'm trying to like let me go back to the greater Toronto area. You're right. Let me go back to here and see what I want to be inspired by. Unarmed combat stuff. Hold Y while crouching. That's a weird input. Hold Y after rolling. That's cool. Um the back hang is for real big guys. Giant swing. YB after the pumpkick. Lariat kind of lame. Restrain. YB during a stab. Okay. Okay. I was pressing. It's two four instead of one two. Valariat followup is just mash. Gotcha. But it costs stam. I swap. I do. If I crouch, we deface ourselves in squabbling. Hold up, bro. Back to the stage of history. Figuring out your control scheme was under unarmed. Hold Y while crouching to wrap your legs around an enemy and bring them to the ground. So, it's a contextual thing. Die bastards. Who's this guy grabbed me? God, I've engaged with some mechanics. Interesting. Did not happen before. This place is full of archers. Shitty archers. I died. Where? Where are you? Your time's up. [ __ ] out of here. Oh, there's going to be legends told of this day. Come back here, little [ __ ] Oops. I don't know how to run. Better run. He what? He lived. That's it. I'm climbing up this whole goddamn thing. I'm literally climbing up this whole [ __ ] thing. Do you understand? Do you understand? Do you understand? A I died. Oh no, I'll take the revive. Thank you very much. What the hell? I had to prove my point. Point proven, right, chat? Right. I think it was worth it. He's going to go back and tell his friends. Speaking of which huh? Ow. I just want to loot this guy. Thanks for the thin high, [ __ ] That is so many [ __ ] Look at all those [ __ ] just putts around with this. Oh, the door is opening like magic. Why are you doing this? Thank you. You're welcome. Welcome back to the history. Okay. I Now, did we do any of that? Huh? So, you can burn those boxes. No, you can't, chat. You're drunk, dude. There's absolutely no way these are burnable. Literally impossible. have to like equip the lamp field cloth armor. Did you come back? Please. This isn't right. Are you like into this [ __ ] Thanks. Following you this time. Better keep moving. You better keep moving, brother. You better You better keep going. Seriously, keep going. That's right. Go across that river. Is he confused? Does he eventually turn around? Something just changed. Also can't be killed. Dude, did you just get bored? Good day. You are. There is no way. There is no way, buddy. There is no way. Where do you think you're going? Hi, Dad. He has no idea. He got caught. As soon as I turn around, I'm going to come back and this guy is going to go back and tie himself up again. I almost guarantee it. He has free will. You can't kill him. He's unkillable. You guys are putes away. wrong button. Give him two. Trees are coming down. You have to grab while you do the stab animation, right? Yeah. I'm trying to It's I'm trying to get the timing of it and it's just weird, bro. Who else is shooting him? Huge snail. Knowledge of snail acquired. Keep them alive. I'm getting myself in a bad spot. Guys are annoying. I saw that coming. The blossoms are blossoming as I'm running around. You can drop watchtowwers with RB plus RT. This is actively hurting me. Holy [ __ ] that was kind of cool. That's kind of cool. There's a small little thing bringing this whole place down, bro. Not enough spirit. I need spirit. I need spirit. Rogue's base. Guys, can you please piss off? Hold on a second. I got to catch a dragonfly. Wait, we're about to aggro way more dudes. Archers are the worst. Oh my god, you're still alive. Get this [ __ ] out of here. Dil, who is still shooting? Is there a guy up Not anymore. There was. Yeah. You permanently fall, you dumb ass. Ow, my dick. Oh, no. My dick. Ow. Oh, and then he died beans. Pepper. Damn. Sweet potato. Holy [ __ ] There's so much food here. Copper necklace. Hey. Oh my god, that's insane. And if I press this, I don't get anything. Uh, let's go fly a kite. What? I just What? Sure. Yeah, stealth in this game is actually mad difficult. You cannot really stealth like you have to like probably uh proc into it. Hey, leave those [ __ ] alone. Nice. I think I'll enjoy beating them out of you. I fought in many wars. Get that [ __ ] out of here. You guys all go to hell. [ __ ] I'm trying to What? I can actually grab them with this [ __ ] I didn't know you could do that. Okay, you dudes are chill. Dudes are chill now. I can't thank you enough, friend. Get out of here. You picked up your pickaxe. Dude, you don't have to work anymore. No, you're good. You don't have to work anymore. Yeah, you guys are good. You can use Lariat on down enemies if they're still alive. Uh Lariat is what? Poison. Oh, RKO. There is a lot of dudes up here, man. Like a lot. If you want some of this [ __ ] you're going to have to pass by this wall. Come on. Come on. You guys are being big [ __ ] You come over here, you archers. I needed a good sweat. Just die already. I've lost to where you came from, [ __ ] Poison. The big guy. I fought fought many wars. poison currently. think I got to grab him on the first hit. This guy survived a ground stab. Take that [ __ ] Oh my god. He didn't give a [ __ ] does the brightest thing. Oh my god. You and your stupid friend. Ah, they eventually got me. Damn it. I needed six dudes to hit me at once. Finally got it, man. All right, last revive. Dude, they just armors through everything. This guy looks confused. You piece of [ __ ] The range. Shoot me. I dare you. I'm the killer here. Kiss my ass. This move is so hard to do. Mystery bugs. Jesus, man. White lavender. Great. That's great. I still have a bunch of guys to fight down here. Shut up. Region liberated. God damn. These guys all have money on them. Defeat that's never What do you mean region liberated? This [ __ ] is right here. Oh, what in the blazes? Tell me everything you know. I'll make you pay for this. You little [ __ ] I could knock you down in seconds. I said I'm sorry. I've acquired a man. I'm having fun with the game or still making fun of it? Both. I feel like if you take this game seriously, that's pretty funny. This game of all games, the one of the funniest games ever. That's pretty funny. This game's pretty funny. Does this guy serve a purpose? Like, or can you just do this to people? Can I throw him? Is he a bounty? You can hand him to a town. Then we got to find a town. But like this place is is lootable. Not I haven't seen any chests to be honest. I haven't seen any of that [ __ ] Um assuming that's not a town. Or is it? He's not a bounty. That's just how you capture bounties. Oh, can I throw this [ __ ] No, this is more [ __ ] aisle. It's a lot of red guys. Oh my god, there's so many red guys. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Wow. Zoom out faster. This game is too [ __ ] big. What the hell is this? Oh, a random reward. Oh, that's the end of the MSQ. Yeah. Okay. Where's our suit? All There they are. there. Can I teleport in the current state? Why not? Yeah, it's better. Oh, the time of day changed. Or did it? Or did it? Right in front of me. That was heal. Uh, heck's the That's That Dude, how the I feel like the controls change in this game. I swear to God. Um, it's select. There we go. I think we already went in here. Um, so we don't have a mini map, right? Don't uh do I It's this way. There we go. It's under my face. I think you're a goddamn chicken. You're brave for playing Crimson Desert. Twitch means more people like you. Exactly. No one out here is willing to do 150% playthrough of this game. Every bug, every bug caught, every animal captured, every enemy slain, 100% clear. No one's really willing to go that far for a single player offline game. Neither am I. But you know, rescue Hubert. Hubbert. Sweet potato. Why am I glowing green? Sweet potato. Who? Salt. Salt. not send his aid. I entreat you. Please undo these bonds. Good thing I can't kill this guy. Do no hide. I entreat you. Please undo these bonds. So weird. I got to equip the goddamn lantern again. You do no good, bro. Chide. I intreat you. Engage human engagement mode. But Solomon, I was sure I was Oh, thank you. How can I dude Chad? At some point, every NPC you talk to is going to end up on the ground in some way. Every single one. I'm not kidding. Like, everybody you talk to is going to end up falling on the ground in some way. How indeed curse this damn gold apologies. That horn splitter just gets under my horn. I think he might end up on the ground again. Gold leaf branch master. You see Shakatu was meant to with the horn spplitter at the helm. Well, it spells if Shakatu let the guild, this wouldn't have happened. Shakatu, huh? Damn, I was wrong. Blime me. Simple posters don't have anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lantern doesn't have to actually have to be on to interact. [ __ ] No. No. No. You need to shine light in people's faces. Like you have to. What kind of game is this where you don't shine a light in people's face to understand them better? Go to Shakatu. Uh, wait a minute. Was this It said there was a fire here. Did I blow it up? I think I blew it up. I think it exploded. Nighttime looks like daytime. The more you ride the horse, the more abilities the horse gets. That's not true. No one else has been brave enough to play this game before. So I'll have to discover if those things are true. If he crosses the gold leaves, we set him straight. Understood. Stay sharp. Why Shakatu even give a [ __ ] about some poxy outlander? Oh, it's him. The grrey man. Damn, he just I'm not here to fight. Jesus. He walked within neck slicing territory. Hold on, lads. We were looking for you anyway. The tradem wants to see you. Why? Why is everyone getting getting within neck slicing territory? There won't be any trouble. Big mistake. Mistake? You cheeky [ __ ] Get him. Show me what you've got. I'm going to prolong it. Damn, look at these guys whipping. Can't hold for much longer. Ow, man. Whoa. Did you see that dive? My shield. Is it not working? Sucks. He died. Come here, you piece of [ __ ] Double piece of [ __ ] Surely needs a lesson. Get the Oh, I thought I was doing [ __ ] My orders were that you be treated with respect. Go on. Now, in a treacherous world, often the sword precedes words. I beg forgiveness on their behalf. I wonder who's making it so treacherous. A pointed remark indeed. Such is the cost of doing business. The metal makes the merchant. I hope there are no misunderstandings. Why were your men seeking me out to begin? Does such consideration further offend you? I was hoping to speak to you about our branch master, the hornsmith. He manipulates the gold leaves to commit misdeeds to satisfy his own greed. If we don't stop him now, no one would It does blow my mind. In the future, uh, that Cliff couldn't have been. Isn't it good business to back the winning horse? I create a character. It's actually nuts. Like, they really thought they were out here making like a big story. Um, circus estates. please come this way. Where? I dude, I can't even [ __ ] see Therefore, found you. I have a request to make of you, Grammy. Please put an end to him. I see you need further persuasion. Bald and long sword. Damn. Wait, what the hell am I doing? equipped an artifact perhaps. The horns spplitter's thirst for its power is the root of all this chaos. Ah, there we go. Okay, so it's the Zander. Okay, he's hunting them so that none may stand against him. Golden wolf, thank you. They intend for me to catch all this [ __ ] in here. I ate I caught a fruit fly. You know how small that [ __ ] is. [ __ ] roach. Of course, I won't be leaving you empty-handed. Your efforts here will aid the people of Hernand and will certainly ingratiate you to the Marquee circus. Very generous man. If my agents are to be trusted, he'll offer the Greymane land to rebuild. Then naturally, you will deal. Why am I listening to this? What do you think? I catch myself. wouldn't you say like getting bored? Take that as a compliment. And I and I'm like why am I listening to this? Like listen to the the story that doesn't that you shouldn't be listening to. Listen. Need a times four speed. Oh my god. Am I following you? Just defeat hornsplitter. No, you're just going your own merry way, my dude. A boss fight over here or some [ __ ] Got to find the horn spanker. Look at this [ __ ] The camel cricket. Look at this way that it wants me to go over there. I refuse. Absolute refusal. You'd make it daylight. How do I make it daylight? Holy [ __ ] I can't see [ __ ] man. It's so hard to see anything in this nighttime. Oh, no. This shit's amazing. Let me touch my breath. You can't block. I get it. You had this long time. Must you drown yourself? Catch my breath. [ __ ] you almost threw me off the edge. would not have been nice. Fly loot the guy fish. Stop picking flowers, my dude. Look at the man. Not lootable. It must not be lootable. Acquired knowledge about maragolds. Don't want the cockroach. I guess these guys just have no loot. Um, did the combat reel me in a little bit? A little bit. I'm figuring it out. Sleep for light. Where to sleep? Can I sleep on my horse? Can I go over here to these dudes? Guys, I'm all tuckered out. Fire, Or a bonfire. I see no bonfire. I see a horse. I see a teleport. Um, I'm set to all. Ain't nothing. So, what does this do? Does this actually block with the sword? Can I parry with the sword? Chill, guys. I'm looking at my moves. Wow, it actually helped. That's crazy. Okay, start swinging. So, I'm guessing these are like teleport points. Fast travel. guessing can teleport to her and sleep. Yeah, I could. Or I could put it back. A snake. Stop grabbing [ __ ] please. What the hell's over there? This is pretty cool looking nighttime right now. You know what? Hold on a second. What? Auto. Right. Hey, this looks way better without that goddamn lantern. Blossoming flowers everywhere. Tighter. just finding sweet potatoes everywhere, Oh, I'm guessing that is back. Why am I so green? Um, I'm guessing that is back where we got all the red dudes at. Carrots potato, my dude. I see carrots. You cannot Mystery carrot. Oh Jesus. Carrot. Carrot. Knowledge acquired. So dumb. He doesn't know what a carrot is. Hey man, I never learned to read. What is this [ __ ] I'm going to take my time. Are these [ __ ] dancing? I'll cut a hole and kill you. [ __ ] come here. Is there a dropkick eventually? Abrock cloth armor. That can't be any good. Sweet potato. Look at all these guys. Look at all these night folks. Just going to pass a little bit of time until this boss fight. Damn it. Did you Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Getting a little funky in here, bro. Cliff. Cliff. Cliff. What is your name? Getting a little weird. Cliff, climb. Was trying to grab this. Saw the opportunity. Oh, there it is. Hatch. mystery. can I liberate these guys from their evil ways? See a campfire. Oh, there's like normal people in here. whatever the hell that does, bro. Is there a bed in here? Can I just like snooze? Engage with bed. Wait. Hello, stranger. It's cooking time. Arty grilled vegetables. Sweet potatoes times 10. Jesus. Start cooking, [ __ ] delicious. You made a rice krispie treat. What the hell is that? What the hell am I looking at? Delicious. No game has ever come closer to making food look good than Monster Hunter ex until now. I think we have the new king, the new champion. Greetings and all that. Yeah. Yeah. You guys like sell anything? Excuse me, goat. I'll help if I can. They're all pedalling. You're all a bunch of peddlers. Precision turn off. You can't sleep. Ooh. That's it. This horse better hurry up, Do I have a horse or not? What was with Why are we being so dramatic? Fine. Yeah, the game has some intense and oftentimes hilarious pop in. Oh my god damn. What the [ __ ] Didn't even pull out my sword yet. I'll cut a hole right through you. Grievous. Not enough stamina. Oh god. A broth has more point than you. The pain. Guys have weird attack patterns. About to die. I could be Jesus. Let's get hacked up. Why don't you let the block button not work? He dropped his clothes. headband. A fruitly slammed him out of his shirt. Did you see that? Okay. I think favors something. Picked up something that equates equates to a favor. Ah, let's check this out. Yeah. Do I get any skills as a result of any of this? I'm killing a lot of people. Like many, many, many, many people are dying. unarmed combat. What about slashy slashy combat? Multi-shot. What the [ __ ] is that? have like a full ass archer build, could you not? Armed combat evasive slash charge rush. Quick swap. Sure hit. Check the blinding flash finisher. turning slash stab probably changes a bit, right? Swift stab, skewer stab, rend armor, spinning slash, blinding flash, Met conditions to learn. meet conditions, not met. All right, I have to find it. Blinding flash finisher. Press RT when enemies are blinded by blinding flash to rush in and deliver a Press RT while enemies are blinded by rapid flurry of strikes. Spirit cost. That's just it, right? LB RB LB LBB. L1 R1 then R2. Those shoes will have rafters creaking just from your stroll. Hey, big guy. Hello. Oh, today was all right, bastard, but tomorrow's another day. A proper pipe will get me right back up. Oh, you guys are like normal. Y'all are just chilling. Where's my goal? You just earned your must you shit's crazy. I'll cut you down to walk away. I am just rolling these dudes now. Smell that, about to die. I'll cut you. Smell that. Your fear is more than you. Time to turn the mountain. These guys smell that you touch my brother. You ready, buddy? You ready? Time to trim the fat. Is it? Is that what's happening? This isn't a desert at all. I know. I wish there was like loot icons or something, you know? [ __ ] aren't you? Inventory is full. What do we do about that? Oh no, the inventory is full. Oh my god. No. No. I don't need all these [ __ ] bugs and [ __ ] Sorry. Damaged gear. Um, flowers and bugs. Oh my. Spine of the earth. one-handed attack weapon. What the hell? The Kraken Club. Yeah, it certainly looks like it. Uh there's bugs and [ __ ] right? Discard. I'm going to eat it. I'm going to eat this wood. sell for $3. Is that Wait, that's more than three bucks. That's like That's a different kind of currency. Donate any stuff with the house icon. Really? They sell for so much money though. Eat the house stuff. I have so many caught bugs. Don't tell me you can eat the [ __ ] spider. And why does it give me a ton of crazy [ __ ] It poisoned me. Eating the spider poison me. Open pouches for money. What is what? That's how you do that? What? Can I open all of them? It turns to silver. Okay. Well, that put a bunch of silver in my inventory. Now we're rich. 100 copper for for one silver. Okay. However the hell the economy works in this [ __ ] Damn. $57 shield. Weapons definitely have a decent amount of sellability. You know, uh he Okay, let's just go. Be poisoned for a while, I think. Hi, guys. I'm here. Sorry, I'm here. I'm the main story guy. Don't worry. The Greymane has saved me the trouble of seeking him You've been meddling with forbidden. Why am I fighting Phil Collins? Sounds expensive and all too appealing to a merchant sens. You lost your war, Northlander. For daring to stand before me, you will now lose your life. This power is mine. No one can take it from me. Drink that. My power. Can't y That hurts. You'll pay dearly for coveting my strength. Your life has nothing to Oh my god, dude. The camera. Okay. Yep. Bury him. those have to be dodged. Yeah. Scurry I got money on it. Okay. So weird having to like hold the walk on my bones. Wait. Wait. I finish it. It was not finished. Not finished. You can't grab his ass. That's unfortunate. Down on D-pad for lock on. Holy [ __ ] Didn't know that. I've only used L1 for lock on. I thought we I thought we were saying lock on and guard is the same thing. No. Quickly, tend to my wounds. die. The founder of our great guild once said, "A merchant lives and dies by the trust they foster." But look at us now. All we have fostered is blood and lies. It is time I set things right. We will rebuild that trust and restore our good. Learning in progress. I've learned something. we all learned something today. Gilbert, thanks for the five. Do you think they'll make a DLC in winter and call it Christmas dessert? I hope so. That's a very good recommendation. Dude, if they just like made it winter time everywhere in Christmas lights on anything, I'd play the [ __ ] out of this game during Christmas. I'd play the holy dick out of it. Ah, there you are, Greymane. What is it? I have a message for you from Shakatu. He offers his deepest thanks for putting an end to the horde spplitter. Because of your help, the gold leaves will reclaim the trust he cost us. You love snowing games so much. A snowy with Christmas lights. Folk of hair nan at long last be at ease with us. The guild hopes that our alliance holds strong. Listen to me prattling on. I have some information you've been waiting. Someone calling himself a grey mane has been spotted in the alleys of Hernand. Are you sure? We are the gold leaves. We only deal in trustworthy information. And once you have a place to call, I'm shocked that this character has not fallen on his ass yet. Shakatu, I sent my I certainly will. The first dude we've seen that doesn't fall on his ass. Abyss gears. Abyss gears are imbued with the energy of the abyss. And they manifest their true power when slotted in and unlock and and unlocked equipments lock it. They improve your abilities and unlock new skills during adventures. Keep So these are like specifically new abilities. Uh evasive roll. What are we talking about? Where does this [ __ ] go? Gold leaf merchant. Okay. Sword of the Lord. Lord of the sword. Uh, where did that thing go? Is it at the top? What the [ __ ] is this? Lord of the Seord. Let's go back. Yeah. How the hell do you dual wield if you cannot? A [ __ ] The hell do you do wield within the D-pad menu? I am in D-pad menu. Wait, it's an arrow. Hold left D-pad. Change shield to sword. Hold down D-pad. Not in this inventory menu. Okay, gotcha. That's from the abyss gear. Yeah, I was trying to figure out where the hell that abyss gear thing is. A wide bowl. Oh my god. Stop. I need to get to town. I need to get to town. I need to get to a town. ASAP. Oh, it's a socket and the sword like it's Diablo or some [ __ ] Aha. Wind slash. Press RB after certain action. Gotcha. Okay. I was warned about folks like you. All right, folks. Made it back alive. Wish I felt good about it. Think I'll head to the tavern to drown my name. Everyone is either drinking or sad. That warmth puts strength back in you from the inside out. I I need some place to sell [ __ ] Well, you people look very important, but I need some place to sell [ __ ] What the [ __ ] is this? The hell is this? Oh, is this Are you a person? Is that a person in the shadow? What brings you here today? I'm only here to sell and sell. Great. What do you mean I can only sell certain things? Sell and not sell and not sell. What's with the cannot sells? Not a normal vendor. He's a weird merchant. A vier the merchant. Buy weird things. We surely meet again someday. Ah, okay. Well, I need a normal normal merchant. Oh, we're back here. We are back here. All right. All right. All right. Fernandian, bro. I learned how to do this. Get the [ __ ] out of the way. I'm sorry. Have we met? How do I fix this [ __ ] Can I fix this Take the letter, [ __ ] I didn't even God damn. I turned my phone to silent. advice regarding abyss gears. You finally secured the abyss gears. The gears refined manifestations of volatile dangerous power. Wearing them will make a journey much smoother. Fully imagining the power won't be easy for the white crow. Why do you sound drunk? Got my KOF invite. You're not a merchant, [ __ ] I got to run up the main town. Ride go. You're almost a more fun gameplay. Yeah. Motivation. Ring the bell in the main town and we'll show you a lot of spots. Really a green mean you see horse can't go through here alleys bloody begging like one of us. All right. This is the seller guy. Shut the hell up. Searching for st. Let's start selling [ __ ] dude. Come on. Like what are we doing? Sell this [ __ ] candle. I'm going to sell this goddamn broom. Need my axe though. I need this empty book. Gunpowder, man. It's [ __ ] wood. Wait a minute. Can I craft things? [ __ ] A mighty blade the horror of it. All the goddamn bugs. Crap. Right behind this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got like orange and [ __ ] Remember me when your blade grows dull. You have to. I can't use this hammer anymore. Yeah, you can. Shut up. Hand over. Perfect. I can finally fix my hammer. Oh, I did something. That's a weight off my shoulders. Thank You're welcome, sir. Here, a token of my appreciation. Selling things makes you richer. Thank you for that, chat. The master of the anvil stands before Crafting arrows, [ __ ] I can make two arrows. I thought he was wearing assless chaps for a second. The master of the anvil stands before Fineman, sword of the lord. Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Oh, these are all good. Oh no. Kind of looks like the streamer. The streamer. I can make I can make a better sword of the lord. The worn ring has nothing and it turns into an attack ring. My cloak does a moderate amount of defense. What about my goddamn pirate hat? ow. That sucks. Cannot be refined. That sucks. 16 + two 17 attack speed level two. Dude, I'm just going to level this [ __ ] up again. Like blacksmith upgrading the hat. Shut up, chat. They do the same [ __ ] Seward of the Lord. Um, they need a better shield, right? Small bone. Yeah. What I'm also going to do with this [ __ ] I think this guy doesn't need any money. He just does [ __ ] Not even paying him to do this, chat. He just does it. It's crazy. Costs literally nothing. Sold that bone. Cloth base. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. He does it for the love. You can buy better armor at the guy you sold all your stuff to. What? It's not No reason. I just did all this. There's no way. This forge has restored many fight. If the song of the forge literally no way. Return whenever. My god, I don't want to talk to you. Let me forge you a blade fit for Thank you. We'll save your life out there. True strength comes from remember. Can I sort by date? Sure, it's fine. for me when your blade grows dull. Pirate hat, though. Well, spet it out. Searching for a sturdy blade. Small bag is an inventory upgrade. Really? My weapons are unbreakable. Rat's long sword. That was dumb. Um, I need to start selling counts on the weapon at their side. Yeah, we don't need this. Damage pirate gloves. What the [ __ ] Go to Lion Crest Manor for a bunch of silver. Really, that's just a random key. Okay. True strength comes from the soul, not just the steel. I can afford all this [ __ ] now. Good luck to you. Every my forge never rests. Come back soon. Kirby, thank you. Don't sell the dyes. Yeah, I would never. Dyes are like whole point. Damn, I'm shiny as [ __ ] now with my pirate hat. Uh, all right. Damn, we have significantly upgraded our asses. Use the mask to steal something. Look, a [ __ ] on two legs. What you say? What is this? There's a lantern I want to turn on. Who the hell are you? Free sword. Wait. Walk in faith, child. Look at that [ __ ] Please. See something you like? Have I told you the tale of when I met Plank man's fireplace has a gold bar sells for 500 silvers. So is that is true. No one believes me. Is that like All the way up in Dur friend. Is this Lion Crest Manor? Like the Why does the map suck so much ass? Okay. Uh MSQ to the left. It's near. Oh god. It's a It's a banner. Is that church shows on the map? I'm going to the bell. The bell. I'm ringing it. Finally, someone found me. I'm a master at hiding. How did you know? I hope I'm not the only one who found I know. I'll help you track down the others. Ringing bells like this will help you see things clearly. Um. Oh, that's the manor. [ __ ] climb. There's a guy like right there. Holy [ __ ] man. You are you are like Spider-Man. You're gluing to all the walls. Well met. What goes down in here? I'm not buying [ __ ] Trust matters the most, does it not? A strong box must be registered before use. Gold bars stored in it will be invested according to investment strategy yielding profit. Oh my god, it's a 401k. money is a money is a noble thing. Shut up. I'm get I'm getting the [ __ ] out of here. I walked into a Bank of America. Moon flare. Thank you. Most aggravating. Flip Marius. So the rumors were true. Moonflare. Thanks so much, dude. Your leg. Never mind that. I'm just glad I'm still breathing. Come on, let's walk. Did they give me free check? Everyone scattered to the four winds after that night. But Andrew and Naira got blown back my way. They'll be thrilled to see you casting spelling on the ground. Yeah. Who gives a [ __ ] if a few of those wankers die? Oh, forget about the bloody riffraff. Come on, let's grab a drink. Hey, something wrong. The bleed bandits. Downright nasty B. I've killed many of those guys. Like many. They love to pick fights. Come on. Best not to get involved. No, no, don't worry. I've killed like literally hundreds of them. You're as sharp as ever. You don't need to be worried about it. To gather some useful information as well. And you'd be surprised the gossip that finds its way back to the Hovels. Oh, anything on the marquee. You mean Marquee Circus? He's a generous man. Everyone speaks well of him. I'm on my way to see him. He'll help us regroup. Is this a fresh start? I We'll all be together again. I'll go and tell Andrew and Nyra you're back. There's no like uh armor weight system, right? This game doesn't have encumbering ah trouble, which is good. So, you just wear the best [ __ ] You better sleep. You bark at me. There has to be a bed in here. What's with all this fancy [ __ ] Water bottle of the agonized fish trap. Really tempting me. Where is your bed? [ __ ] You guys don't lock your doors. Key used to unlock door. I didn't willingly do that. what? There has to be something of value in here. What the [ __ ] [ __ ] I caught a rat. Huh? I didn't want to walk in here. Bunch of nothing. Get the [ __ ] out of the way. Get the Fat ass doom rat. I'm going to eat it. How am I meant to need a bed? Seriously. God, I was open. Breaks into property, demands bed. See, there's got an upstairs. There's got to be some beds. That's not nice. What the fudge? Stop it. Oh. Get off the bed. Why am I What am I buying? So weird. Sleep in front of this man. went to every place instead instead of the tavern with the beds. Instead, we went on an adventure. Kidney's gone, bro. If I steal this, nobody will know. Not a goddamn soul. He's like, you will know. He looked at us. He's like, "Yes, you will." He looked at the camera. He's like, "Yeah, you will, man." The lighting indoors is like bad. So weird. Who the hell are all you people? Oh, you're the arm wrestlers. Gotcha. Hello there. Hi. Pleased to meet you. Sit. Make yourself at home. Rest up. Just immediate inventory. Beer recipe. Pan fried rice cakes. Damn, that is expensive, dude. Cheese. Rest your bones. Safe travels. $24 apple. My god. Let me out of this goddamn town. Feel like I'm in Vegas. Good day. $24 apple. Sneaky vermin. Well met. Greymane. Carry on. Is he here? The marquee is in sight. Please follow Yo, my lord, the grey man, Dominican Yuba. Ah, Greymane, the savior of Hanand Marquee Circus. Thank you for coming all the way here. I hear you handled things with the gold leaves. Their meddling in the market was a real headache that went on. Our fair city's burdens have been great. Should I mixed set man? I was simply acting in the green. Your honesty is admirable, but I tell you, I mean it. I think this game would be better without the cut scenes. I'm not even kidding. Start a new. I don't even think we need them. Thoughts on a suitable location. I think it's just better if I don't talk to anybody. I want to I wish this game had a silent protagonist. I really do. A fitting camp. Head to Howling Hill. Where are we playing this? Why are we playing what should have everything ready for it? Why? Crimson Desert. I'm not playing Crimson Desert. I I absolutely refuse to. It's a great honor. Everyone's acting too weird around this game. I refuse to play it. Uh, okay. This way. I'll escort you to Howling Hill. That's really not necessary. Only if you walk faster. Please. You've taken a huge weight off our shoulders. That horns spplitter caused no small amount of trouble for this town. Folk came to us begging for assistance that we couldn't give. We were at our wit's end till you went and dealt with him. So, it's the least I could do. Wish I could do more. I appreciate the gesture. Damn. When the right time of day hits though healed on accident. Good. We'll ride there. Why is my horse so lazy? Engage the going. Breath of the Wild combat was fun for like a few engagements. How you finding Hand? That's okay. Pleasant enough, isn't it? Fair weather. It was really crazy when you could like kill some of the hardest enemies in the game with like a potlet and a stick. Aside from all the bandits. So you cross paths with them as well. The bleed gang. Solomon only knows where they spring up from. There's more every week. Can't speed up this cut scene. Harassing folks whenever they get the chance. Yeah, I like the idea of going with the final boss. I did too. That's what I did. And I had a great time. The rest of the game did not meet that level of exploration. Feel shameful saying so before the man who singlehandedly took down the horn spplitter. Damn. Right time of day. This [ __ ] looks good. run. Yeah, faster, please. about to go back and take out all those guys. Yeah, it seems like the gold leaves have turned a new leaf as well. No, no, no. This game's combat was definitely inspired by fighting games. I had the devs tell me as such a year ago. I hear seems to be quite the competent leader. He's working tirelessly to restore the guild's reputation and it's done well. Dude, it's like the one thing that's making me play. Glad to hear that. Cuz the wild ass combat. He's a reasonable man. They let you cancel into moves. That's pretty much what it is. Like you're able to cancel actions into other actions pretty frequently, but at the cost of stamina. Business arrangement. So, it's limited. But business arrangement, eh, they let you. Sounds like there's a story there, but they won't write. Jack must have an eye for good men as much as good deals. Marshall Middler's never looked lighter on his feet since things settled down. Do you know what the marshall's doing at Howling Hill? Well, I suppose he's getting things set for your camp. Though, he's probably got some workers to handle the heavy lifting. He likely wants to thank you himself for saving. Hey, I'm sure that goes for all those toiling to construct your camp as well. Bro, I've been here before. Yeah, this is the exact opposite. Witcher had uh godlike narrative and then bad combat. Combat in this isn't like great. It's completely serviceable. It's so wacky. You know, the wackiness is what makes it interesting. Like the move sets are so nuts. You just increase the stamina stat. Go. Do I actually get like rewards like more skill points for fighting dudes? Is there reasons to take out camps to fight everybody individually? Well, here we are. It's a nice quiet little spot. There is. Okay. Yellow bar on the left. Oh, I didn't even know these [ __ ] ass freaking I don't even know that what that's what that was. Faction contributions as well. You don't need to worry about that. I'm here. Literally has an XP bar. Yeah, I didn't even notice. I can't. It is an RV. No, we're the ones who should be thanking you. The marquee insisted for everything to be provided. No exceptions. Let me introduce Alien. I'm surprised you haven't met before. It's a pleasure. She is a guest of the Marquee. A spot of troubles brought her here from Deminis. So, might I ask that she be allowed to stay here with you? I can't think of a safer or more hidden location, Marshall. I'm No need. You're our guest. Thank you. I have other matters to see to, so I'll take my lead. Until next time. Dominina uses the rapier as her primary weapon, delivering swift and lethal attacks to pierce to the enemies. Press up to open the character menu. Just like dominate to switch your character if I wanted to. Oh, weird. How weird. Is does she just get all the same [ __ ] that I do? No, she cannot use certain weapons. How weird. Does she So, she doesn't like help you. You just become her. She has a gun. Completely different move set. Hm. Huh. Weird. Oh, this is this is our camp. Gotcha. Have you already spoken the biggest difference you noticed since a year ago on your first playthrough? Yeah. Uh the controls aren't nearly as awful. At least from what I'm playing right now. Move the sacks. Drive this. Oh my god. Oh my god. All of them. This is crazy. Wrong spot. That's impossible. Literally impossible Axe, [ __ ] Where do you want me to put it? can push objects east side of camp. That's north. So, hold on a second. Moving items, right? Why are these big glowy bits? Those are the four other tasks. Maybe it needs to go right here. Boy, howdy. This is uh real shitty. The game's doing certain things. It's very good. But now we're at the point where like the game's trying to do This is chat. This was a thing that they told me to do with cannonballs in the demo and they like had me do it like six times across a bunch of distance and [ __ ] And then I was like, I go to another area and do it again. [ __ ] are we not done? How many are we are you talk all of them? Wrong sack. Picked up the wrong one. They're all the same. Why aren't they colored different? Only the special sacks. That's crazy that the sacks have to be unique. a unique sack. This I remember. You could totally see someone being into this. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Did I do a good job? God. Oh, this controls exactly how I feel. some Red Dead 2 [ __ ] Was this [ __ ] in Red Dead 2? Chat, I got to a train in Red Dead 2 and I had to shoot people and it felt so bad that I stopped playing. Raise the banner. Oh boy. Oh boy. Howdy. Oh boy. This is it. Did this change. Nature's grasp. Raise the speed. Bring this over to here if I remember. What? Did you run out of juice? What is happening? This is close story. True. True. That was weird. I brought all the ingredients, but who's cooking? Well, I suppose they'll manage just fine. This is Cliff's story. It's very important. The hell's all this [ __ ] Herb. Is this like for me? Candle incense. Point at it, [ __ ] Accidentally press a button and get mogged. Reward for their sweet sweat. oh. Oh, and now we have to cook. Eat these [ __ ] beans. Did we like We already figured this stuff out because you just run around the world and click on [ __ ] and stuff happens, you know? Oh, they want clear soup. Picky [ __ ] Ain't got no clear soup. The [ __ ] Check the cooking recipe. Ah, there it is. Wait. There's never been anything on the back of these things. Clear soup is hot water. There's a difference between grilled cooking and pot cooking. Damn, what a what a character. Zed, thank you. I need to make two. You scum sucking bastard. Fire up the goddamn music. serve a feast. Think you'll share some of that. Thank you all. What a nice surprise. by a gray man. Malicious compliance with this questing with this main questing. Fresh of cooking skills to the story doesn't get any better than this. This is the best it gets. It's so nice to all sit down for a meal. Who the [ __ ] are these people? Are these all Greymanes? What the hell's a Greymane? Just a white dude and or chick? Nah, this guy's a big old ogre. What the [ __ ] What the hell is a What's a Greymane? Did they grow up in Ohio or some [ __ ] Give me that [ __ ] bread plate. I'm going to take your soup back. These are mine now. They're northerners. No. No. They come from the suburbs. Ain't nothing north about it. Private storage at one side of the camp. Loot obtained from dangerous quests and missions along with supplies produced at the camp is stored here. So, stuff I missed. Deer pack. Miss beer money. The way it's slammed. What the hell is this sturdy wooden box? B box knowledge. The [ __ ] is going on? Wait, the box was worth more than what was inside it. Go back. What the hell? Absolute justice. Great sword. Excuse me. Where the [ __ ] did this come from? Oh, that's her sword. Guess I'll stick some of the armor like boots and [ __ ] Put this [ __ ] rat in there. Clear soup. Do I need to hold on to recipes? Do I need to hold on to all this paper? What the [ __ ] Sorry. Sell them. Okay, we have a vendor. Now just sell them, Says knowledge acquired. Safe to sell. What do they even sell for? 10 bucks. Get a fresh a beignet bed. Let's get a fresh morning. Sleep. Now is not the time to sleep. Oh my god, dude. Just close your goddamn eyes. All right. I wanted a fresh morning. Escort Marius to camp. [ __ ] Why you being Oh my god. 416 meters away. I'm going to enjoy this. Blast on all you beat. Playing cowards in your defense. pickaxe fist. There we go. I hope the hopefully you get more like fist weapons. Are we really done here? Well met. Should you just ignore that I beat those guys up? Broken box covering my face. You have to be able to get like Fisticuff's weapons, right? Glad to see you remaining strong on resisting Crimson Desert. Thank you. It's been tough. It's been real tough, [ __ ] How did you guys know I was here? Oh, they gave me a mask. These guys just got deleted. Is that a whole ass snake? The snake. Snake. World serpent. What the [ __ ] is going on? man, let's make this fast. Die. God, what the [ __ ] you expecting me to play a coward? I'll slaughter all you beaten curves. Hey God, I got it. No problem. Get off the wall. So, oh, that wasn't even the objective. Some [ __ ] happened on the way. Pumpkins. Oh my god. I have to climb this whole [ __ ] ass. Wait a minute. It is. It's got to be fresh. [ __ ] has to be fresh. They're for the mines. starting to get the hang of all this [ __ ] man. It's just a lot. It's a lot. Aren't you, man? Look at this beautiful Goina. Everyone will be back soon enough. Who the hell is this guy? Marius having a tough time talking to me. Marius, we've got a camp. thank the ancestors. Well, you can thank the marquee. Oh, he's as good a man as they said. Whereabouts is it? Howling Hill. A bit far for hobbling. Can we ride there? Have to tie him up and get him on my shoulders. So, this is where you've been staying. Wait for your companion to hop on behind you. Here's the bum, dude. Do it. Do it. It is. Every word and whisper comes through here. There's no better place to gather information than the scrapfold. What kind of information? Anything you could imagine. From gutter scuffles to noble scandals, it all through Of course. So, this is where you've been staying. I wanted to see if he held on, dude. Just like it is. Every word and whisper comes Your horse is immune to fall damage. What you're saying is I should hold on information than the scrap fold. Don't let go next time. it all flows through here. Even word of a certain greyman pushing the horn spplitter has already made its rounds. Some say you cut him in twain. Vandalism drawing steel. A slight exaggeration, I'd wager. Fog and are starved for good news these days. Until now, porn spplitter's tyranny was all folks would talk about. It's been ages since our tales have stirred folk souls. Not since Paloon. Ah, I bet you're more curious about Poon than Hernand, aren't you? Word is the black bears are getting cruer by the day. Oh, Anna and Andrew went south to a count's estate. I've got a request to protect him from some masked stranger. Run. The count's being dodgy about the details. Seems fishy if you ask me. But they heard the staff are being threatened as well. Faster. So they bolted off without faster. Always springing into action those two. I see. You should have seen me put up this big sign. Unbelievable. The marquee gave us all this. I for removing a Well, now who's this? Look, Ross. Barius. Cliff, what happened to his leg? You're not hurt, are you? Same as always. Yeah, don't worry about me. How did you get here? Word is spread everywhere. The cliff's The pitch shifted music, Ross. It's been ages and you The pitch shifted music is funny. What happened to your black bears, wouldn't it? Well, give them more. It happens. I'm more than just my bloody leg, you know. All right, we won't keep making a fuss, though. I think you really should. I told you I'm fine. Any word on the others? Naira and Andrew went to escort and word is there's a greyman locked at Malos only lun. I heard he got drunk and beat a priest half to death. I really think one of us should go and look into it. Sit down. Where do you think you're off to? Don't you worry about Hus. This dude's a fence ruiner. Look out. All we need now is somebody at the camp that can sell [ __ ] Holy mother of God. Oh, that's the stuff that I put in there. These are all my important items. Important quote unquote. the [ __ ] warfroach. This [ __ ] ass warfroach. Got another mask. allows for criminal behavior. Time to sleep. It's 6 a.m. Governor. All right. Where the hell? 1,000 freaking meters away. Holy moly. God damn freaking thing. Blue dot on mini map. To think we'd stand together again. It really feels like a dream. Do I have to escort you over there? I hope not. I'm going to slowly walk away. Slowly going to walk away. I think it's that place, right? That icon is not showing up. Dude, can I not do the big jumps from here? I can't. I literally can't. It would not let me use my um my abilities. Funny. Yeah, camp is like a strict no combat zone. So, I couldn't even jump. Couldn't even do the big ass jump. [ __ ] This doesn't let me go anywhere. go like a total of 15 ft. I'm playing as the girl. It told me don't play as the girl. Damn, I wrestled the [ __ ] out of this bunny. What the hell did I grab? That is a huge rabbit. What a rabbit. I've acquired the knowledge of the rabbit. Yeah, you need so much stamina for everything. Hold on a second. Let's Let's see if we can do something about that. There goes that. Well, there goes my horse keeps getting in the way. He wants to be in all the videos. He's photobombing like he's Ignis. What the hell is this place good for? shop. What can I help you find? Sugar. I'm learning about oil. No deals off the table if the money's tarnished ring. Put that on. I think Can I sell this effing cockroach? Thanks. Do I need these anymore, chat? I don't think I need them. Like the missing cows and [ __ ] Free to sell. A thousand cockroaches. The goddamn soup recipe, dude. Uh, okay. All right. We got some food. We got some carrots. Fine. If you seen enough, don't let me keep you. Oh, dear me. So, that's like the main vendor and everything else here is just useless. Beat bunch of things that you can steal. What happens if I just start [ __ ] stealing everything, dude? What's going to happen? Just start stealing everything. I need the inventory space. That's the problem. I don't have the adequate inventory to steal everything. Horse. find it funny that you have like no connection to your horse. They don't really like here's a horse and it you just get it. Doesn't really tie into lore or…

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