WE BLITZ OR WE DIE: Blitz Bowl 2026 HYPE & RAGE

SP [screaming] [screaming] yardage. We just lost all that. The ball. Every year these guys make a special version of NFL Blitz that has the updated rosters from the last season as well as like a Super Bowl staple. Jesus. So, it's pretty much made for us. Let's flip for teams first. Teams. Yeah. It's the same one. So, then who's calling what? Um I No, I was just It's just I put this here and I am a Tails. Okay, so Kenny's going to go and either going to find out what he is. And is he a tails or a head? He's a tail. Me and Kenny. All right, there it is. All right, let's get it. We going to roll for teams. Calling tails for Seahawks. Tails for Seahawks. Tails. Seahawking bastards. Oh no, we can't go. Kenny, what you doing? Fast turbo running. What am I doing? Look at that. Look at Kenny. Wait, what? What happened? What happened? Look at him. What? What happened? Kenny's trying to cheat. What? And he was practicing the code before stream. Max is being called out. It's like he knew the He was sitting here standing beeping the same three inputs like four times. I'm not going to let you cheat. It's in the game. You're stupid. [ __ ] Right through it. Oh, THAT WAS WHAT IN THE WHAT THE DUMBASS? OH, out of nowhere. OUT OF NOWHERE. OUT OF NOWHERE. Both of our defenses are total trash. Oh, I thought that intercepted. LET'S GO. Let's go. Son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] Good. What was that? Excuse me. What the hell? Stop that. [screaming] Down, baby. Oh my god. Okay. Yeah. This a Super Bowl. Oh, hell yeah. when I take your power. Whoa, that was kind of neat. That was kind of neat. Seahawk fans having a good day. Oh, dude. Wow. What the skill? KILL ME. OH GOD. Let's go. I got you. I GOT YOU. GET THE ONE WITH THE BLOCK. GOOD [ __ ] GOOD [ __ ] GOOD [ __ ] I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAY. GOD. He's a god. Good [ __ ] GOOD [ __ ] KITTY. GOOD [ __ ] ABSOLUTELY. Good [ __ ] God damn. How in the WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SIMMONS. SIMMONS. Running on THE CLOCK. EVERYBODY around him vanished. Yes, sir. LET'S GO. ALL RIGHT. HERE IT IS. HERE IT IS. HERE WE GO. There it is. Let's go. [screaming] Okay. Oh my god. Things happening. Things are happening. Get the [ __ ] OUT OF MY FACE. MR. PRESIDENT. All right. I think we have to go for it. We're going to win this by a [ __ ] field goal. Oh. [screaming] [ __ ] What an [ __ ] dude. Trash. No good. No good. Let's go. Oh, I missed. Unbelievable. No, it's not. We got ours back. We got our gimme back. Okay, good. What the [ __ ] What is a play? LET'S GO. [screaming] LET'S GO. We rewrote history. That [ __ ] was close. Holy [ __ ] Now that's a football game. That was a game. That's a football game. Holy [ __ ] The way it's supposed to be. It's been done. Let's get to uh game two. We're doing two out of three on the uh Schnen 64 2026 edition. Where's my character? I have no idea. I got you. I GOT YOU. WHERE? WHERE? REMEMBER YOUR LITTLE NO. WHERE DID THAT [ __ ] [ __ ] COME FROM? YEAH, but a good call. YES. GO GET HIM OUT OF THERE. LET'S [cheering] right there. Give me a [ __ ] I didn't right left. Left. Yeah. Yeah. He threw it right on left. They couldn't see you. It was true. WHAT THE? HE'S ON FIRE, MAN. GET OFF. GET OFF, MY FRIEND. GET OUT OF HERE. GET OFF OF HERE. GET THE WHAT THE [ __ ] YOU WALKED RIGHT OVER IT. I'M SORRY. Right over it. What the [ __ ] Are you serious right now? You also didn't. Are you We were literally over it. I mean, I don't know. Literally over it and the [ __ ] ball just [ __ ] just walked away. The ball just [ __ ] disappeared. Okay, cool. WHAT THE [ __ ] RUN, [screaming] RUN. PERFECT. WHOA. There you go. Like, is he actually going to catch it? Is he going to find some reason TO ANKLES? Give it to back to them. YOU GOT REASONS. The entire line was there, bro. The entire line was literally there. Oh my god. Sports games, man. WHAT THE [ __ ] JESUS [ __ ] UP? WHAT THE [ __ ] [ __ ] LEFT. LEFT. GOD DAMN IT. HOW THE [ __ ] OH MY GOD. My heart. Beautiful. Beautiful. I [screaming] got myself, baby. Historically accurate, baby. Yeah. Oh, it's down. See, I'm trying to cheat. I'm doing the turbo. I'm in the tournament. Turbo. The tournament mode. The turbo. Tournament. The turbo mint. Tournament. Wearing different colors now. Yeah, we're we're away team. Oh, dude. We're not We're not in the white jerseys anymore. So confusing. YEAH. OH, LET'S GO. So many like I come to fire. Uh, Jack. He's like, I'm going home. He just ran to the right. All the defensive guys are standing right there. That [ __ ] went right through. Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] hell. Get away from my man. Magician. Yeah. Get away from my man. Football guys should kiss in the inside. Don't even think of getting next to my man, In the air, bro. Giving it to us cuz we got screwed so many times. I do think I was a little. Sorry, buddy. Sorry. I forgot your legs. I forgot you had legs. All right. Okay. All right, game. It's all right, game. It's getting interesting. I SAW YOU PUSH THAT. [screaming] I SAW YOU. HOW MANY [ __ ] DID WE [ __ ] THAT GUY? HOW MANY [ __ ] DID WE JUST tackle there? Broken ankle. We [laughter] tackled so many [ __ ] That's We're trying to win the Super Bowl here. We did it. Okay, it's not over yet. It's not over. Yeah, it's not over yet. They can still do it. I think it's still Get this [ __ ] Get him. Get him. I'll push you. I'll push you. Come here. The timeline has been corrected. We fixed the timeline. Fix the timeline. THE TIMELINE. GET OUT OF HERE. YOU'RE THE BEST. ROSS, WHERE'S YOUR COIN? All right. Here. Where's your Kenny coin? All right. Here you go. Here we go. What are we doing? Flipping. Flipping. Rroll. Reroll. Tails, baby. Tails, baby. Meds. Seventh roll. Oh, god. Hey, that was tails. That works for me. [laughter] Hey, let's go is tails. All right, go. Switch spots. Switch, boys. Let's get it. Get out of here. Whisper in my Simmons ear. Oh, we have to we have to roll for teams now. I'm going to call heads for birds. Heads. Birds. Seattle. Uh-oh. Wait, you're Seattle? Yeah, we're birds. We chose birds. [ __ ] We literally have zero points on defense, my dude. And these This is the defensive here. [laughter] I don't know what buttons it is to get the three head. GOD DAMN IT. DID HE EVEN DID HE EVEN GET IT? I turned on big head. So funny. He did not turn on big head. He did. [groaning] Big head. Bullying. [laughter] One guy's got a big head. Like one dude. Yeah. Not you guys. My eyes. They bleed when they twist them. The guy with the big head. Look at the big head guy. Look at that guy. Big ass head. One guy with a big ass head. Big old head. No. What? Wow. Very high up there, dude. Fish. Fish. Okay. All right. That was very quick. That was very quick. No, no, no. No, I'm not. I'm miss. But he is big head. I got head big head. I got big head. Protect me. I protect. I protect. I protect. Come on. Get it. YEP. YEP. OH MY GOD. WE JUST LOST YARDAGE. WE JUST LOST ALL THAT all that was the ball. No way. No way that quarterback got away LIKE THAT. LEAVE HIM ALONE. NO. LEAVE HIM ALONE. [laughter] I jumped so hard. Standing there. Just standing there. He's just standing [laughter] there. Beautiful. Bitch's tent. Perfect pass. Bitch's tent. What? YES. IT'S IT'S GOOD. It's good. You guys have any issues? It's good. That was good. Sorry, you guys are winning. Any issues? Sounds fine to me. That's No, that's fine. That's the game, right? That's okay. Okay. Ready? Let's go. Okay, that's No, that's fine. That was fine. Oh, man. Oh my god. That was right on the line, TOO. HOLY [ __ ] ALL RIGHT, WE'RE TIED UP. MY THE BACK OF my left pinky is going crazy right now. It's I'm legit in pain. [panting] Welcome to football, [ __ ] Welcome to football. Yeah, welcome to football, [ __ ] I want to hear nothing. [groaning] Cover me. THERE WE GO. 69. ONE POINT 69. Oh [ __ ] SOON'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION. LET'S GO. GIVE THE YEAH. LET'S GO. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. We're in this. We're in this. My [ __ ] fingers. Let's go. Good. Nowhere to go. [ __ ] Good [ __ ] Nowhere to go. Oh, let's go. You guys got to punch. You guys got to punch. You guys have to punch. Don't be stupid. I knew it. Yep. Yep. There it is. There it is. Damn it. God damn it. [ __ ] Focused. Focus. We're in this, boys. We're in this. All right. All right. Okay. Which one you going to throw it to? No one there. Good [ __ ] I don't even [ __ ] believe. Good [ __ ] [ __ ] [screaming] THAT WAS LET'S GO. [screaming] [ __ ] SOLID. NO. WHY? WHY? No way. Damn. I'll put the hurt on you, [ __ ] He caught it. He got it. He caught it. [ __ ] [ __ ] I GOT A TOUCHDOWN. YEP. I see it. GET THE [ __ ] OFF ME, [ __ ] GET THE [ __ ] UP. WATCH YOUR LEGS. WATCH YOUR LEGS. YES, BOYS. WE GOT a game, boys. We got a game. Good [ __ ] The dumb [ __ ] GET HIM OFF YOU. GET THE [ __ ] OFF ME. GET THE [ __ ] OFF ME. GET THE [ __ ] OFF ME. OH MY GOD. WHAT THE I GOT A BIG ASS HEAD. [ __ ] you. That's enough. I think they got second. Oh [ __ ] LET'S GO. THAT'S WHAT I'M talking about. BRING IT RIGHT. I got a streak on my hand. Dude, this [ __ ] is crazy on that [ __ ] This Dreamcast controller [ __ ] sucks.